You left me!

Chapter 17- Wished we'd gone through with it.

CHAPTER 17

             I added a little cream to his coffee with no sugar. That was how he’d always taken his coffee. I added several cubes and lots of cream to mine. I have a sweet tooth, a very sweet one. I set the cups and coffee pot on the tray and went back into the sitting room. I placed it on the centre table and handed him his cup while I settled down with mine beside him. We drank in silence, each unsure of what to say. I wanted to know why he left me, why he disappeared without telling me.

“Why did you leave me, Ed? I’ve been asking myself that ever since the day you disappeared.” I stirred my coffee and refused to meet his eyes.

“I was just watching out for you. Remember that night when we – we – “

“– had sex. Is it that difficult for you to say?” I looked at him.

“Sorry.” He mumbled and I gestured him to continue.

“Well that night you talked about dropping out of school to settle down with me. That you didn’t mind if we lived from hand to mouth or sleep in the streets. It scared me, I didn’t want that kind of life for both of us and I knew everyone will blame me if it happened, I – “

         “I said it because I love – loved you and I meant it, I wanted to be with you no matter what the condition was. I’d have done anything for us to be together.” I grimaced for almost telling him my feelings.

“I know you were saying it because you loved me but I wanted you to have a normal life not live with a guy who could barely feed himself. I wanted you to aspire to be a big woman, maybe a doctor, politician, lawyer, anything at all but living with me in a pigsty.

         I felt if I just left you’d have no choice but figure out something to do. Which you’ve done now. I didn’t think of the pain I’d cause you, all I wanted was for you to go to a university or perhaps get a good job and become someone important in life. You are too brilliant to waste everything on me and besides your parents would never agree to you marrying someone that can’t feed you, so I had to go and make a living.”

“What right do you have to decide my life for me? Tell me, what right? Did you ever think of going to school yourself?” I was getting angry but I knew how to control it.

“I know I have no right to do so but if I’d told you, you’d have been mad at me. I didn’t want you to think I was trying to get rid of you. You did leave me.

            “I did go to a university but I did it long distance. I worked at Essence Leather Company and they paid for my schooling at the University of Australia. I read accounting and did a pretty good job in helping them make more profits. In a year, I had climbed to the top of the ladder and decided to set up my own business. I wasn’t satisfied without you all those periods and my urge to find you grew stronger.

           I finally got the courage to call Evans and he told me you’d gone to California, he refused to tell me which school you were in nor your address. He said that was my punishment for causing you pain. I begged him not to tell you he saw or talked to me and he agreed. I went online and checked the freshers list for all the universities here. At last I came up with your name and from there I went to your school and asked for your address from some of your classmates. They told me where you live and when I got here, your neighbour was just about selling her house so I bought it. The idea of been next door to you thrilled me. The rest of the story, you know.” He refilled his cup and mine and I gently sipped it while I let his words sink in. Evans knew?

“What about your dad?” I smacked myself mentally for not asking after the poor old man first. He had welcomed me and loved me not because I was rich but because I loved his son and he saw it. Ed’s face changed and it looked kind of sad.

“He died. I wasn’t able to get him all the drugs he needed. He died just as we got to Australia.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I really loved him.” I said as tears misted my eyes. I didn’t realise I had dropped my cup and was stroking his hands.

“He loved you too, like the daughter he never had and when he was on his death bed, he told me never to lose you.” I blushed and left his hand but he caught it back. Time seemed to stop and I felt myself leaning into his kiss.

             “Ed.” I moaned as his hand trailed my body and he deepened the kiss, I held him tight afraid he might stop. He whispered my name and all the fireworks in me flew out. I tugged at his shirt and undid his buttons. He removed my top and I lay beneath him on the couch with only our jeans separating us. My body burst into flames and I grabbed him tighter. He trailed kisses down my body and his mouth settled on my breasts. I wanted to scream in pleasure and I held his hips tighter when I felt his erection. I fumbled with his belt and jeans button. I wanted him in me. He stood up and carried me up the stairs just when I was about getting disappointed.

“Fi, do you want to do this? I don’t want you to hate me after it’s done.” I came back to my senses and stopped kissing his body.

“Put me down.” I said and walked to the sitting room. He climbed down the middle of the stairs and followed me.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to, you have to understand it hasn’t been easy to keep my hands off you. I promise I won’t do it again.” He said as he buttoned his shirt while I wore my top and left the bra. My nipples stood erect and he found it difficult to take his eyes off them. I folded my arms across my chest and he returned his eyes to my face.

“It’s okay. I’m not just ready to do this, don’t know what got over me. I don’t want to get hurt again. Just – just leave and safe journey.” I took the tray back to the kitchen and washed them and stacked them back into the cupboard, by the time I was through he was gone and I sat on the sofa and wished we’d gone through with it.

Just thought I should postpone that scene. So how did it go? VOMMENT, please. I know you can do it and it only takes 10seconds. See ya!!! Thanks for reading.