Addictions

Back to Back

⚠️Mention of suicide and overdose⚠️

"Why are we doing this?" Midoriya questioned as the two men sat back to back in the middle of his living room floor.

"Because I need to talk about my feelings and this is how I want to do it since it's something I don't like to do." Bakugo said with a heavy sigh as he leaned into Midoriya's back. "When we're sitting like this, anything we say will not be brought up in our everyday lives."

"We'll only talk about it when we're sitting like this?" Midoriya questioned as he closed his eyes, leaning back onto the blond.

"Yes, we'll call it back to back I guess." Bakugo said with a shrug. "If you ask me something and I don't want to answer, I'll change the subject and vice versa. I know you don't really talk to a lot of people, but you can talk to me." Bakugo let out a nervous sigh. He's never done anything like this and he was scared to let somebody know him like this, but he couldn't handle his feelings. It didn't end so well last time.

"We don't talk about it unless we're back to back and we don't tell anyone?" Midoriya questioned suspiciously.

"Correct." Bakugo confirmed with a nod.

"Can I ask you something then?" Midoriya whispered as he looked up to the ceiling.

"Ask away." The blond replied as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He never opened up to anybody, so he wasn't sure what to expect. He could hate it or even worse, he could love it.

"You've said you're addicted to sex, but are you actually, or do you just really enjoy it?" He asked quietly.

"When I was seventeen, I got into a car accident over sex." Bakugo began as he lowered his head in shame. "I pressured some guy to give me a blow job while driving a busy highway. I was too out of it and side-swept a guard rail. I just told the police that I lost control."

"Is that guy okay?" Midoriya asked softly, scared to close his eyes.

"He's okay." Bakugo responded with a sigh of relief. "Even after that, he stayed with me. I cheated on him whenever he couldn't come over for sex and I felt terrible." He said as his eyes focused on the white trim at the bottom of the wall. "I don't know if it was guilt because I never regretted it. I think I just felt bad for him because I knew he deserved better."

"Did you love him?" Midoriya whispered.

"Platonically, yes." Bakugo responded with a heavy sigh as he thought back to the redhead he put through hell and back. "I told him everything and he told me I may have an addiction. There was an online counseling group I did, but it never really helped. All it did was tell me how to work around it so I didn't hurt anybody."

"Can you explain that more?" The freckled man asked as he turned his head slightly.

"I learned to always wear protection, get tested regularly, always have a last-ditch effort, and always have a set sex time. That last one was hard to do, but it helped me a lot. It prevented me from doing stupid stuff like sex while driving, paying prostitutes, and breaking up relationships because I was so desperate." He explained. "When I get low on people, I always start talking to a few guys or women that I haven't talked to in a while or I will go to a party off-campus and try and meet some new people."

"Do you have a preference for gender?" Midoriya questioned. He usually saw guys for a while and then girls, it was rarely a mixture.

"I prefer guys. Once I run out of guys, I'll start talking to girls." He informed. "There was something I wanted to ask you though."

"If it's to have sex with you, you can forget it." Midoriya said with a small laugh.

"It's not. It's because when I told you earlier that I was still taking her back to my place, I was going to. However, when I sat down, I couldn't. I looked at her and saw all the pain you felt and didn't want to put you through that, so I didn't." He admitted as his cheeks turned a light shade of pink.