Addictions

You Have to Want it More

"You really want to cancel?" Shinso questioned as he parked his car in Sero and Kirishima's driveway. "I can let her know, but why?"

"I just don't feel up to it tonight." Kaminari responded with a nervous smile.

"You've been saying that a lot lately." The purple haired male pulled his phone from his pocket, texting Kendo to cancel their plans. "You okay if we reschedule with her for tomorrow?"

"Do we have to?" The blond said in a whiney tone as he threw his head back against the seat. He loved his boyfriend with all his heart, but things were getting to be too much for him.

"Okay, what's going on?" Shinso asked as he locked his phone, gently setting it on the dash. He looked to the love of his life, unsure about the sad smile he was forcing. "And don't say nothing."

"Maybe you and I can spend a night together." He said as he looked into his boyfriend's deep purple eyes.

"If that's what you want." Shinso shrugged simply.

"It is what I want, but I also want you to want it!" Kaminari snapped in defense. "Hitoshi, I love you more than anything, but I don't always want to sleep with other people so you can watch. When it was once every other week, I didn't mind. However, you're turning it into an everyday thing. You're almost as bad as Bakugo."

"Don't compare me to that sex addict." Shinso responded as he rolled his eyes.

"You have a form of a sex addiction. You're literally watching porn every day when I wake up, you ask me to pleasure myself multiple times a day and then ask me to sleep with someone almost every night!" The blond yelled with frustration as tears began pooling in his eyes.

"You were all for it when we started dating two years ago! I told you from the beginning this is what I like!" He snapped in defense. He wanted to understand where his boyfriend was coming from, but he didn't. This has always been his life and he didn't understand why it was a problem two years down the line.

"At first, it was twice, maybe three times a month. Now you're scheduling hookups for me almost every day. What if I get a sexual disease? What if I knock somebody up one day? What happens when you get bored of watching me?" He asked as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"Do you ever think I'd get bored of watching you?" Shinso asked with a sad smile after he processed what his boyfriend had said. He reached his hand across the car, grabbing Kaminari's. "You are the sexiest person alive, I could never get tired of watching you. You're funny, handsome, smart, sweet, and overall amazing."

"I don't feel like that most of the time. I feel like you don't want to love me yourself, so you just have someone else do it." He informed honestly. He knew if he wasn't honest, nothing was going to change. "I'm not saying that we have to stop, but I'm asking you to slow it down and spend more time with me yourself." Shinso nervously bit his lip as he squeezed his boyfriend's hand. In his head, he knew he had a problem when he realized he didn't care how his boyfriend felt about the situation. He wanted to care enough to stop, but all he could see in his mind was the image of his boyfriend being fucked senseless while screaming another person's name in bed.

"Listen Denki.." He started with a nervous breath. "I'm not saying I won't try, because I will. I just need you to be patient with me. This is how we've been doing things for over a year and a half and I'm so used to it, so please be patient with me." Shinso whispered.

"That's all I ask is that you try." Kaminari responded with a soft smile as he used the back of his free hand to wipe away the falling tears. "Maybe therapy might help too. It might be good to talk about what happened when you were a kid before you got adopted."