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Affogato NSFW alphabet (save me)

OH MY GOD HERE WE FUCKIN GO

IM WARNING YOU RN. IF YOU ARE UNDER 13, 1) STOP HERE. 2) GET OFF THIS APP WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE?

(template not mine. found it on tumblr somewhere)

this made me very - not uncomfortable..but like..unsettled (?) to write cause I'm asexual so it felt kinda awkward. I will never experience something like this so its just like- OSJDIOFSM

not getting into heaven for this one

I guess i gotta throw shit at the wall to see what sticks.

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A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

somehow is soft but at the same time a massive prick. like..he'll hug you but at the same time say 'you could have done that part better'

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

hes probably an ass dude. sorry ass-less people.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

does this question make me very uncomfortable? yes. am I a prude? yes.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

THIS BITCH PROBABLY LIKES PRAISE. also, old men kink. though that one isn't much of a secret.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

probably has slept around a lot. he knows what hes doin.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

UHHHHHHHH *laughs nervously in 'idk wtf I'm doing'*

dare i say it? 

doggy style

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

well..hes pretty serious for the most part..but like...how do i put it..? like he complains about cookies around the kingdom MID-SESSION. so its not really serious but its a casual conversation.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

erm..

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

sure. its as intimate as it can be while hes complaining about how annoying everyone is.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

another question i do not have the guts to answer.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

PRAISE. OLD MEN. THIS SLY MF PROBABLY LIKES BONDAGE AND AHEAGOU FACES. 

UGH GOD AFFOGATO UR A PRICK GIVE ME YO COOCHIE 😡