Haikyuu Text Messages pt. 2

8. Kuroaka

Main pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Kuroo Tetsuro

Other pairing(s): None

Warnings: "The Hobbit" Spoilers 

Time: Akaashi's 2nd year / Kuroo's 3rd year

Song: None

Notes: None

•

*In Kuroo and Akaashi's private messages*

Akaashi: BABE

Akaashi: COME HERE

*Kuroo is online*

Kuroo: WHAT'S UP

Akaashi: I JUST FINISHED THE HOBBIT MOVIES

Kuroo: AND?

Kuroo: WHAT DO YOU THINK????

Akaashi: BILBO AND THORIN?!??!?!?!?!

Akaashi: VERY GAY.

Kuroo: EXACTLY

Kuroo: I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU THAT

Akaashi: I KNOWWW

Akaashi: BUT IT'S NOT LIKE THAT IN THE BOOKS

Akaashi: THEY HAVE LESS CHEMISTRY

Kuroo:  I THINK IT'S THE ACTORS

Akaashi: IT'S MARTIN FREEMAN

Akaashi: HE HAS CHEMISTRY WITH EVERY ACTOR HE PLAYS WITH

Akaashi: LIKE

Akaashi: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH?!?!?!??

Akaashi: THAT SHIT WAS MORE THAN BROMANCE WHO TF ARE U FOOLING

Kuroo: EXACTLY

Akaashi: anyways back to the hobbit

Akaashi: "THORIN OAKENSHIELD WILL PASS INTO LEGEND"

Akaashi: "I KNOW THAT'S HOW MUST HONOUR HIM BUT TO ME HE WAS NEVER THAT. HE WAS... TO ME, HE WAS..."

Akaashi: HE WAS YOUR WHAT BILBO

Akaashi: YOUR BF?!??!?!? YOUR HUSBAND?!??!?!?!?!

Akaashi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Akaashi: WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE 

Akaashi: UGH I HATE THE "BURY YOUR GAY" TROPE 

Kuroo: it sucks :/

Akaashi: on the other hand... legolas?

Akaashi: more like my leg(s) o(a)ll open for him

Kuroo: JIJIIIII

Akaashi: WHATTTT

Akaashi: BABE IT'S ORLANDO BLOOM

Akaashi: FUCKING OFC I'LL HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM

Kuroo: ok fair :I

Akaashi: but they did him so dirty

Akaashi: i could see how he loved tauriel in his eyes

Akaashi: BUT SHE

Akaashi: SHE WENT TO THAT DWARF

Akaashi: WHEN THERE'S A MAN WITH AVARAGE HEIGHT WHO IS FINE AF

Akaashi: WITH EYES SHAPED LIKE HEARTS FOR HER

Kuroo: RIGHT?!?!?!?!??!

Kuroo: HE WOULD'VE DIED FOR HER

Kuroo: but tauriel and kili were cute too :/

Akaashi: ig they were

Akaashi: and she kinda gained my sympathy in the part where she was crying over his dead body

Akaashi: AND THRANDUIL WAS SO AGAINST HER RELATIONSHIP AT FIRST

Akaashi: BUT THEN HE SAW HER CRYING AFTER HIM

Akaashi: AND HE KNEW WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO LOSE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE

Akaashi: "why does it hurt so much?"

Akaashi: "because it was true love"

Akaashi: LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Akaashi: ok i'm done ranting

Akaashi: i have to go read fanfics now

Kuroo: don't even try wattpad

Kuroo: go directly to AO3

Akaashi: why?

Akaashi: oh 🧍‍♂️

Akaashi: i found one named "He is mine Thorin x Bilbo SMUT" [definitely not projecting 👍]

Akaashi: AND IT HAS 2.8K READS??!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!

Akaashi: OMG I TRIED READING THE FIRST CHAPTER HELP I THINK I'M DYING [no hate to the author]

Akaashi: "sussy baka 🥺🥺" vibes

Kuroo: PLS ASKJDHASKDASJKDHASKDASJ

Akaashi: anyways gonna go to AO3 now

Kuroo: do u want fic recs?

Akaashi: 🤲🤲

Kuroo: lol ok i'll send them to you

Akaashi: thank you my wonderful amazing boyfriend whom i love very much

*2 hours later*

Akaashi: HELP

Akaashi: I'VE BEEN READING FFCS FOR LIKE 2 HOURS

Akaashi: AND MY BRAIN STOPPED PROCESSING FOR A SECONG

Akaashi: SO

Akaashi: I READ "BILBO" AS DILDOS

Akaashi: SEND HELP

Kuroo: BABE YOU DIDN'T

Akaashi: I DID

Kuroo: STOP I'M LAUGHING TOO HARD

Kuroo: "There is a lot more in dildos than you guess, and a deal more than it has any idea of itself."

Akaashi: ASDJKASHDSAKDJASHDKASDH