Of Love and Death.

The Past Chapter 7: Turning Point Pt. 1

Okay.....Um....I don't fully know how to describe this but, anxiety, depression, crying, negative relationships, and social expectations. Summary in part 4. 

     WHAT? Fire's thoughts practically screamed. Mind knew Cold. Mind knew Cold. Mind did not seriously know Cold well enough to get feedback on his cooking from her. Fire refused to believe this. There was no way anyone he got along with could get along with his sister. It just wasn't possible. They were literal opposites. Not like Light and Dark where the latter was just a more competent version of Light. No, Fire and Cold hated each other with a burning passion, and not an unfounded one either.

     The very first time Fire had met Cold, his counterpart had attacked him out of nowhere. Fire had fought back and, well, it had gotten a little messy. To the point that Fire was pretty sure that fight was what had convinced the Forces that the Shadows and Suns could never coexist.

     "How do you know Cold?" Fire asked. It was a good thing he signed the words. His tone would have probably been a little bit unfriendly. As it was, his hands were shaking out of a strange combination of anger, betrayal, and honestly, a little bit of fear. What if Mind and Cold got a long because they were similar? What if Mind was secretly planning something that would harm Fire, or, or, was helping Cold with something nefarious? Was the Shadow a stereotypical Shadow after all.

     Mind whimpered silently, drawing his legs near to himself. He did his best to ignore Fire's thoughts, they made him sick. Did Fire really believe that Mind was capable of anything evil enough to harm the Sun? Please no. Please just let that be Fire panicking. Mind knew it would break him if his friend really thought that of him.

     There's no way, Mind tried to reassure himself. He's always the one saying I shouldn't be evil, right? It wasn't working too well. His throat felt hot and tight, and something wet was in his eyes. Why had Mind let it slip that he knew Cold? At least he hadn't revealed they were dating. Fire would probably have reacted even worse to that.

     "Are you going to answer my question?" Fire asked, no, demanded.

     Mind flinched. He'd forgotten that Fire had asked him how he knew Cold. It would have been nice to get a gentle reminder of that fact, not a practical shout. Mind was torn. Part of him wanted to curl up as far from Fire as possible, he didn't like how hostile the Sun had gotten all of a sudden. Part of him wanted to curl up right where he was, and hope Fire realized that Mind didn't feel alright. Part of him wanted to scream back in Fire's face to back down. So yeah, torn.

     I, Mind began. He was really unsure of what to say. He didn't want to tell Fire about his true ties to Cold. He didn't want to lie either! Why did this conversation have to take such a dark turn?

     I, Mind tried to speak with Fire again. It didn't work, that feeling in his throat only got worse, and his vision got blurry. Why was this so hard for him? We, um, we. GAH! Why couldn't he say anything? This inability to speak was only making him feel worse!

     I have to force this out, Mind thought to himself, not letting Fire in on the words. I have to force this out. I have to tell him. But if I do, then he'll hate me. Then we won't be friends. Then I'll start acting sad. Then Blood will realize. Then he'll think I'm not worth hanging around with, not that we are all that close anymore, but still. Then he'll tell Form, and the two of them won't talk to me. Then the only one I'll have is Cold.

     Mind paused. For some reason that last statement made him feel the sickest of all. He didn't like that. Shouldn't Cold be all he needed? She should be. Mind shouldn't be caring about how he would lose all of his friends. Maybe he should even be happy about it. Maybe he should be encouraging this.

     Mind felt his fingers curl around the lid of the pasta Fire had given him. He felt worse than ever before, but also better at the same time. He was doing something right, even if it hurt. He'd be able to be a better boyfriend and that would make him happier down the road. At the very least, it would probably lift some of the stress he had about making sure Cold loved him.

     The Shadow growled silently, clenching his arms tight to his body. Before he had time to change his mind and say something that would calm Fire down, Mind made his move. He stood up and, without looking at Fire at all, held out the box of food to the Sun.

     What? Fire's thoughts said, filled with conclusion. The Sun had not been expecting this. Mind said nothing, not trusting himself to answer. Mind had found it was near impossible to hide his true feelings with telepathy. So, he simply said nothing. After a long time, Mind felt the box of food be taken from his hand.

     "Leave," Mind commanded, trying to keep his hands steady, still not looking at Fire.

      I'm sorry? Fire asked. He didn't sound offended yet, but he was still confused.

       "I said leave!" Mind shouted with his hands, finally turning to face Fire. He barely registered the look of total shock on his friend's face at Mind's outburst. "If I tell you about Cold, you'll hate me! So you might as well leave! Besides, I can be better this way. I'm sure you can too."

      Fire had been confused at first. It would have been impossible not to be. After all, Mind had always been the most gentle person. Unless he was kicking Fire in the stomach. This sudden shouting match? Fire hadn't realized what caused it. However, realization had dawned on Fire by now. Now he knew what had caused Mind's outburst. The shock drained from Fire's face, replaced by a hardness. Fire had turned on the Shadow, worrying that Mind was secretly out to get him. He, he'd, he'd hurt his friend deeply. This was, how had he done this?

      As Fire stared into Mind's black eyes, he realized they were shining with tears. Tears that Fire had caused. No, no, no! "I, I," Fire stumbled over the word. He had to leave. He had done this to Mind, he couldn't stay with his friend any longer. Not if he was just going to undermine Mind's confidence that the Shadow could be good. The confidence Mind had just been starting to get.

      So Fire did the only thing he could think to do. He didn't say anything more, he didn't even finish that sentence he had started. Instead, he simply turned and flew away. What else was he supposed to do? Try and talk with Mind after he'd driven the Shadow's to tears?

      No, the only option was to turn tail.