Of Love and Death.

The Past Chapter 17: Blood on the Floor Pt. 1

So death, plenty of blood, mild gore, panicking, panic attacks(?), vomit, anger, sadness, crying, terror, existential dread, fear. Feeling the threat of death. Oh, uh, lying. Denial. Being chased. Anger. Someone keeps using their voice until they physically can't.  I don't know if that's self harm or not. I think it is in this context. If I missed something let me know. 

Also, please no spoilers for Quadstrike. I'm not caught up right now, though I should by before the next chapter!

Something was wrong.

Mind woke up crying. He couldn't remember his dreams. He could barely remember what he'd be doing before he fell asleep. It was so cold. He slept with three blankets. But right now his teeth were chattering. He was cold. All the way past his bones and to his soul. It had taken root. It would never let him go. Never, ever. Something had been done.

And Mind could feel his cheeks and his pillows. They were soaked. And he was soaked. Not like when Mind had visited Water's room. Then the salt water had curled around him. Like a bunch of blankets. Letting him calm down and relax because the whole room was giving him a hug. It hadn't even stung his eyes then.

Right now, the water was not welcoming. It was univinting. Telling Mind to suffer. Telling him that it hated him and he'd made a mistake. And his eyes stung. They hurt so much from the salt that couldn't escape from his closed eyes. It was like teeth were biting into him, tearing his eyes to shreds. Ripping into him with claws. Making him want to lose any sense at all because it hurt so much.

Out loud, Mind was sobbing. How long had this been going on for? Why was this happening? He could barely think. Everything felt too much. The cold and the water and this unmovable feeling of dread. That thing was worse than the cold. It was just so much worse. It was pain. And it was emptiness. And it was hate and failure. Mind's failure. For something. Something that he'd missed or could have prevented or something.

Twisting over, Mind buried his head into his pillow. He pulled the covers up over his head. Curling into a ball. Because if he was hidden under the blankets, as small as could be, it wouldn't come for him. Whatever was out there, whatever had done something wrong, couldn't find him. Because he was hidden away in secret.

It was stupid. It was childish. It only made Mind feel worse. It didn't even block out the infernal light that was always there. Always prevalent, blasting through his eyelids. He could seal his eyes shut with wax and it wouldn't change. It would always be bright. He needed that to stop. Just, just, let it stop. Let all the light go away, please, please.

Still, Mind was crying. Still he didn't know why. He didn't know how to help, he didn't know what he was supposed to help. He didn't think he could help. Something had happened. Something had happened! "Please," Mind choked out. The word got stuck in his throat. It didn't sound like a voice. It sounded like an open wound, striking out to try and drag everyone else and everything else into oblivion with it.

"Please!" Mind cried again. The sound wasn't making it far. It wasn't even making it anywhere. He couldn't even hear it. Maybe he hadn't said anything. Maybe the light had sucked it all away. But, but he just. He needed-what did he even need. He was still crying. It had only gotten worse.

What was wrong? What was wrong, what was wrong, WHAT WAS FUDGING WRONG?

Out of nowhere, Mind felt something touch his back. Tough and strong enough that he could feel it through all of the covers. What was it? What was it? He hadn't sensed anything, he hadn't realized anyone or anything was nearby. What sort of monster was there that he couldn't hear their thoughts. How, what. Instinct kicked in.

Slamming up, Mind threw whatever had been resting on him off. Tossing it to the ground like a ragdoll. And he could be strong when he wanted to be. He knew it went flying halfway across the room. And he bolted up with it too. Throwing off his covers and letting all of the stupid dumb light in but it didn't matter because he needed it to survive so screw that and-