Of Love and Death.

The Past Chapter 7: Turning Point Pt. 3

     Mind felt something prick his finger. It was sharp, and made his finger feel cold. Actually, come to think of it, his whole hand felt cold. What? Mind wondered groggily. He pulled his hand to his chest. Maybe it had just slipped out from under his blanket, and his body heat would warm it back up.

     Well, that didn't work.

     Instead of warming up Mind's hand, the coldness spread to his chest, almost like he was holding something that was frozen. Wait, Mind thought to himself, trying to follow that train of thought while still being half asleep. It was kind of tricky. His thoughts never worked too well when he'd just woken up. Especially not after all that time speaking with Cold.

     Something triggered in Mind's head as he thought back to his time with Cold last night. Hadn't his girlfriend left him a parting gift? Probably, but he didn't really see how that was relevant to the problem at hand. It's probably just nothing, Mind thought to himself. He rolled over onto his other side and let sleep claim him again.

* * *

     "Ow!" Mind hissed to himself, his eyes flying open without conscious command. He was confused for a moment. Why did his hand hurt? Was it the same thing from when he woke up in the middle of his sleep? Mind tried to focus his eyes and look at his hand. It took a moment but he eventually saw the object that had frozen and pricked his hand. Well, was still freezing his hand.

     A rose made of ice.

     The rose was sculpted from semi-transparent blue ice that sparkled in the darkness. Its petals were crafted separate from each other, and it looked fragile. Mind knew that it wasn't, however. He could slam this thing onto his desk with all the force he had and it would dent. With time, it would melt, but it would take a long while. The rose was also dangerous, not just because of its thorns. Its frozen frost would spread and coat the area around it with ice, like it had Mind's hand and chest.

     Mind sighed and used his right hand, the not frozen one, to brush the ice off of his body. Luckily, it took ages for the ice to build up to be actually harmful. Once he'd done that, he placed the rose on one of the posts of his bed. There, it would be displayed. If Cold showed up, she wouldn't get mad about Mind not displaying her gift.

     She will be okay with that, right? It was iffy. Cold had told Mind that she hadn't liked when he'd placed the last rose on his dresser. This was closer to where he rested, the place that always seemed representative of your heart, your home. So maybe it would satisfy his girlfriend.

     A stray thought came into Mind's head. A stupid, devious stray thought. The kind of thought that makes you look at everything a different way. The kind of thought that, sometimes, you want to take back because it changes everything, and sometimes you don't like that. The kind of thought that, in Mind's case, he would be glad he thought in the end.

      Fire wouldn't care where I put a gift from him, Mind mused.

     That's when the dam broke.

     Tears welled up in Mind's eyes before he could even try to stop them. He rolled over onto his stomach and pressed his face to his pillow, which soaked up some of the moisture on his face. That was a blessing, the worst part about crying -besides the embarrassment - was always how your face was so wet. It also helped to muffled Mind's great and gasping sobs. A good thing, hopefully none of his neighbors would knock on his door to ask what was wrong.

     It was cleansing for Mind to cry. He'd been keeping it in for so long, letting it all out was amazing. He felt no guilt for it either, it had gotten to the point where he just couldn't feel guilty about hating the way he felt all the time any more. Mind felt awful. Just, straight up, awful. He was lonely, and skittish all of the time. 

     Mind missed the days when he'd just been able to LIVE. To freaking LIVE. When Mind'd been able to talk with Blood without worrying about bruising the other Shadow's ego. After all, if Cold got upset with just the tiniest remark that was out of line, why wouldn't Blood? Why wouldn't anyone?

     Mind had spiraled with this, he wasn't ashamed to admit it. He'd started watching everything. Every single word, every single step, to make sure he didn't do one thing wrong. The pressure had gotten to the point where Mind couldn't breath at times, because it weighed so heavy on his chest. Now, and thank goodness, it felt like the belt that had been tied around his chest had been loosened. He could breathe again. He could breathe again. He could think about his friends, and admit to himself that he missed Fire. Because Mind really fudgin' missed Fire.

     Mind hated every single second he thought about Cold. But he loved every single second he thought about Fire. He didn't exactly know what that meant. But he knew he felt light whenever he was around the Sun. He knew he wanted to see Fire again. Only, he'd told Fire to leave. There was no way that the Sun would ever come back to the asteroid, not after Mind's outburst.

     "Mind?" Blood asked, his voice anxious. It would appear that Blood had just woken up to the sound of Mind sobbing. This hypothesis was further supported by Mind's roommate tripping on everything in their shared room to get to Mind's side.

      Mind was surprised when he felt a warmth on his back. He turned his head up a bit and saw Blood looking down at him with concern. What happened to him? Mind heard Blood wonder. He looks so upset.

     Mind found himself smiling. He was upset. He was really, really upset. But he was letting himself be upset, and nothing felt greater than that. I lost a friend, Mind replied, somehow he was still cheerful. Not that he was happy about losing Fire, but his ecstasy about this revelation was grand. And I don't know how to get him back. But I really, really need to.

      Blood narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. Well, that's not good.

     Fire leaned into Water's hug of friendship. He was still sobbing, and he was still scared and angry and guilty. Water's reassurance that basically calling Mind evil was a mistake hadn't helped. After all, even if Mind could read Fire's mind and know the Sun regretted it, that still didn't change the fact that Fire had done the deed. Besides, Water didn't know Mind was a Shadow. The other Sun didn't know just how bad Fire had messed up.

     "You just have to talk to him," Water whispered, rubbing his hand on Fire's back. "Just talk to him."

     But how? Fire screamed in his thoughts. But how? Mind wasn't going to show up at the asteroid. The Shadow had made that clear. "I'll be better off this way" was what Mind had said. Or at least something like that. Fire had been too startled to really record what Mind had shouted.

      "But, but how?" Fire sobbed. "He ha-hates me! I know it!"

     "You two have a meeting place," Water said calmly. He was obviously trying to calm Fire down with his tone. It wasn't exactly working. "Go there. I'm sure that Mind is missing you as much as you're missing him."

     Fire was pretty sure that wasn't going to work. But he couldn't bring himself to fight with Water, not with his friend being so kind. So, he just stayed silent and buried his head behind his wings. Fire knew he would go, because he would hate it if he didn't and later learned Mind had been waiting for him at the asteroid.

     After a moment of Fire not saying anything, Water spoke up. "So, are you going to go?" He asked.

     Fire whimpered his reply, a small and feeble "yes". That just about summed up his hopes for ever getting to be friends with Mind again.