Of Love and Death.

The Past Chapter 11: Wanting to Love Pt. 2

     I started dating Cold one day, when she came up to me while I was working at my market stall. I-I can't even remember what the first words I said to her were. Everything else just over, overshadowed that. All I remember from that first conversation was her batting her eyelashes and s-saying these words "Will you date me? I've liked you for a while now."

     And, of course, me saying yes.

     Swallowing hard, Fire felt something dark in the back of his head. A theory. He had been right not to jump to conclusions about Mind. There was definitely a lot more to this whole story. From the way Mind had stuttered through some of the words, and also how the shadow had thought the words. There was so much regret in them, it was physically painful. Fire could barely make himself listen. What had Mind been through?

      Please, please understand something Fire. I was trying to be nice. Honestly, if I didn't have my memories of what would happen, I would agree to dating her every single time. You see, we had never actually met before that day. I guess Cold had seen me around? But I don't really understand how you can like someone before you know them. Think that they're cute? Yes. But start to love them? I realize now that that might actually be impossible.

      I take that back.

     I'm not saying that it's impossible to meet someone and start dating them soon, like at a party or something, but I am saying that I think it's harder. It's harder to make it last, even if it is technically possible. And I am saying it didn't work out for me.

     So I was trying to be nice to this girl. I thought it was the right thing to do, to date someone if they wanted to date you. I guess I'd heard one too many fantastical stories about people magically falling in love, even as young as we all were at that point. I think I thought that when someone had a crush on you, you were supposed to date them.

      I would do it differently if I got the chance.

     Quietly, Fire whispered two words to Mind through his thoughts. I understand. It was true. He had seen how caring Mind was, and how honest. Like that time the shadow had kicked him in the stomach, and then made sure he was okay. It was an honorable trait, but one that made people get taken advantage of. Which Fire was afraid may have been what happened to his friend.

     The psychic shadow didn't immediately say anything back, but instead sent a sort of thankfulness into Fire's mind. Which Fire appreciated, and he kept that feeling of thankfulness inside him. He had a feeling he'd want something kind to be able to feel for the rest of this story.

      So we started dating. I remember, in the beginning, all of my friends were really happy for me....heh. They were so excited that I was going to have someone. Time, Form, Wish, Poison, and a few others all patted me on the back and wished me well. They were really, truly happy for me.

     It was Blood who came up to me, after they had all left. We'd had a sort of "hey, you're dating!" party. I have told you that Blood is my roommate, right? Mind checked.

      Yes, you told me, Fire said.

      Okay, good. Anyway, Blood talked to me. He told me, and I remember it like yesterday, he told me he wasn't sure about this. He told me that he didn't understand how I'd just started dating someone like that. And I get it. I get why. He was reasonably nervous. Not just because I think he understood how most shouldn't just date on a whim. But by then, by then Cold had already started to have a reputation.

    Your fight with her didn't really help that.

     Fire couldn't help it. He silently chuckled. He knew it wasn't the time, but he also sensed that Mind was making a joke, trying to keep himself and Fire from falling too deep into sorrow, so he laughed. He hoped it helped, even if Mind wasn't laughing along with him.