Of Love and Death.

The Present Chapter 19: Sunset Pt.3

For some reason, Shu's mouth had gone dry. He tried swallowing but he couldn't. Instead, he just fidgeted his hands with what he held behind his back. Maybe he shouldn't have asked Valt about this right now. He knew that it was too soon. That there was too much going on, that his boyfriend already had far too much on his plate. But he couldn't wait. And-and Valt could say no.

Looking a little bit to the side, the fiery blader didn't meet Valt's eyes. "N-never mind," Shu admitted. "I'll talk about it later," he tried to make it sound like something small. Despite the fact that he'd just admitted it was something big. He was supposed to be better than this. Supposed to be much better than this.

Maybe it was just nerves, Shu's system focusing on something. It was just a question. About asking a question. But still... "Hey, look at me," Valt said, out of nowhere. On nothing more than instinct, the second best blader snapped to look at his boyfriend. The blue-haired man stepped forward and put his hands on Shu's cheeks, holding him slightly.

The pair was close together. That wasn't anything new, but it still caused Shu to focus only on Valt. Everything else always seemed to fade out. The intensity in Valt's eyes was even more gripping than normal. Letting him have something to focus on, something to still his heart back to normal. There was a twinkle of mischief in all of the seriousness, though. A simple reminder that whatever else came, couldn't be that much worse that what they'd already faced. "Please give me a big existential question to focus on that isn't whether or not to become Ashtem," Valt said completely sincerely.

Alright, Shu laughed at that. That was probably the point, but he still laughed. He enjoyed laughing here, as night was falling. The park sometimes felt oppressive, like they always had to meet here. But the moment they were there, they knew it was the right place to be. The right place to laugh about all of this stuff. So, Shu nodded.

Gently, the Sun stepped back, breaking out of Valt's grasp, putting a comfortable amount of distance there. He still hadn't moved one of his hands from his back. "Okay then," Shu said with a grin.

It was dumb and childish the amount of joy that that simple agreement to listen, to consider, meant. And how much it had calmed him down. He'd been so worried he was puting to much on Valt. But it was okay. The other blader wanted to listen. And there were no stakes today. The air was free, like the Saturday after school ended. You could just sit down, relax, and deal with all of the things that you'd been putting off. "I'll ask my question."

It was cold today. Even with Shu's sister gone, it was still the middle of winter in Japan. And there were still patches of snow all over the ground. Patches being the wrong word. It was more like the whole place was covered in sheets of fine powder. But, for the first time, it seemed idyllic to Shu.

The cold didn't press in and make it hard to move, hard to function, because of how it pressed in. How it seeped into every part of you. Instead, it made the air clear. Everything was light, and it had such a particular smell. You could hear everything, it seemed. When Shu and Valt walked, it crunched underneath their feet. Satisfying, like eating ice.

Even the fact that it was cold out wasn't a problem. It made Shu's skin prickle and tingle. Like it was this fragile shell, yet unmovable. It kept the chill out, and the warmth in. But that only made him feel more alive. That, and Valt's expectant face, waiting eagerly.

With a slight smile, Shu sheepishly bowed his head. "Okay, okay," he said again. All of the sudden, he realized he had absolutely no idea what to do. Or how he was supposed to do this. Or even if he should do this. He and Valt had been doing well so far. He didn't need to say this, or ask this, or even do anything at all except keep on loving his boyfriend.