Of Love and Death.

The Past Chapter 11: Wanting to Love Pt. 5

      Fire could see Mind freeze, the shadow taken aback by his suggestions. To be honest, the sun was fairly certain that this was a bad idea. The most appealing of all of their options -at least to him-, but the one with the worst outcome. Fire didn't want to hide away in the universe with Mind, but neither did he want to abandon the shadow to the blackness on his own. And the Shadow's Orb was more or less just waiting for Cold to snap, and dealing with it then.

      There were no good choices here.

       Mind immediately began weighing his options. Going back to the Shadow's Orb was out of the question. If he brought Fire there without warning, and maybe even if he could warn them, the sun would be in danger. Dark wouldn't stand it. Even if the shadow's leader was somehow sympathetic to the reason Mind's crush would be there, he'd have to be cruel to Fire to save face. Dark barely had enough of a hold on the shadows as it was.

      Not to mention how much of a risk it would be to put Fire near Cold. Mind didn't know what Cold would do if she found out he liked someone, but he doubted it was good. Not only that, but Fire would almost certainly get into a fight with Cold if they met up anytime soon. Or really at all from now on. If Fire got hurt because he was trying to protect Mind, that would be universe-shaking.

     The final nail in the coffin came from how Mind felt when he thought about going back to the orb. It was not a good feeling. It made him feel trapped and upset. Like It was going to happen to him again, that thing that Cold did. He felt shaky and wanted to run in the exact opposite direction of his, really now former, home.

      Another choice that wasn't viable was escaping into space, never to be seen again. Mind couldn't bring himself to leave everything he had known behind. He knew it would crush him. To never tell Blood or Form what happened to him felt like a betrayal. Abandoning his closest friends after they'd done so much for him, without even a word? That wasn't Mind. And that wasn't even his whole "I have to be the absolute best for everyone". It was just who he was.

      Not only that, but the Orb was his home. This area, the region that encompassed the two Orbs felt like perhaps a court in a neighborhood. Very rarely did any Force go beyond that region, large though it may be. Mind didn't want to leave that familiarity.

      Maybe it wasn't smart, but Mind wanted to be in contact with those he knew.

      Which left only one option for right now. Because the mind-reader couldn't think of any others. Going to the Sun's Orb. That ball of light that always shined in the sky, before even the stars. The mirror image of Mind's own home. Filled with the mirror images of those he cared about. People who might hate him, think him dangerous, or just not want him a place he didn't belong. But...what would happen to Fire? The sun would surely get in trouble. A lot of trouble, really. Mind wasn't okay with his friend taking that blow for him. It was asking too much.

        Biting his lip, Mind spoke up: Fire, I can't ask you to do that for me. Judging by the look on the sun's face, Fire wasn't too pleased with that answer. His eyebrows were lowered, and his lip tense. Apparently, his crush was determined to help Mind, even if it meant being an idiot.

       Quickly, before Fire could talk him out of refusing the sun's offer, Mind kept speaking. Listen, I know you want to help me. And I'm really, really, grateful for that. It was true. The psychic shadow felt so much gratitude towards Fire after this whole ordeal. It was like a sea had opened in his heart, and was just filled with thankfulness. Thankfulness and love, all devoted towards Fire. But the thing is, I'm not going to let you put yourself in harm's way for me. Whether from my ex, or from the suns. That's like, the opposite of what happened with Cold, and I don't want to be the reason you get hurt.