Siren Song | KNJ ✅

Chp. 25: Speak Yourself

Ari's POV 🌸

As our driver passes down sideroads, the moonlight reflects off the center line on the road. I look out the window to see if I can see any stars in the sky. So much happened today, giving me quite a bit to think about.

"Are you doing okay?" Namjoon asks. "I hope you don't feel bad about not knowing about Yoongi and Lily; it is really hard to date in our profession. We always have to watch our backs; even with people we so desperately want to trust..."

I feel his hand slide into mine and intertwine our fingers together. His touch is beginning to feel familiar, like home, like he is holding my most deeply guarded thoughts in the palms of his hands, and I don't ever want this feeling to end. In the dimly lit backseat, I can still see his expressive eyes that hold so much he wants to share.

"I was thinking about what Hana asked us." I take a deep breath in, trying to protect myself from whatever truth I'm about to face. My hands are trembling, but I know I need to ask. "Are we dating? Is this something real, or am I just becoming a close friend like Hobi is with Lily?" I ask, waiting for his answer with bated breath; I can't keep going without understanding what is happening between us.

"Would you like to date me? I think we have something special happening between us. I noticed, though...." Joon cuts off for a moment and glances out the window. 

"Noticed what?" I ask with concern, feeling a tightness across my belly as he hesitates.

"When you met Jungkook. You looked at him a certain way. If you are attracted to him, I need to know right up front so we can stop this. He's like my little brother, not to mention he's been dating Jae for several years now...but you should know..I refuse to compete for attention over anyone in my group. I can't go down that road...." his eyes peer into mine, and I see a hurt I don't understand. I sense he's been through something hard before with one of the members.

"No, oh, Joon, no!" I rub my hand over his and squeeze trying to convey as much confidence as I can muster. "I promise you; I was not at all looking at Jungkook like that. He just looks like someone....someone I used to know, and it caught me off guard. That's all! My eyes truly are only for you. Can't you tell?" I don't mean to, but my voice almost turns to desperation as I try to lay my heart on the line.

Joon studies my face for a long time and breathes out. "I'd like to date you exclusively. Give you and I getting to know each other better a try. There is a lot we should sit down and talk about, though. There are a lot of personal risks associated with dating me. Also, you should probably break down and read up on me online," the light flickers out in his eyes for a minute. "You should know the good, the bad, and the ugly of how I'm perceived in the world along with my group, so you really get a full picture. I won't have you coming into this ignorant. It wouldn't be fair..."

"Okay, Joon. I will, but I doubt it will change anything. I like you for you. The person that talks things out with me and finds sea glass with me. The person that understands my love of art and talks about the world with me."

The car comes to a stop in front of my building. Joon leans up to the driver, asking him to give us a few moments. Then we are alone, encased in the privacy of the late hour and the tinted glass for protection.

He unfastens his seat belt and slides over to me, I feel his frame close to me, and my heart begins to beat wildly for only him. For only this man who doesn't understand how much our short time together has already forever changed my world for the better.

"I really enjoy my time with you. How about you do some homework online about me, then we can talk more about dating each other," he whispers.

It feels like a magnet is pulling me to him as I unfasten my seatbelt and slide closer to him. He's looking at me with need in his eyes but hesitates to come closer. As much as my anxiety gets the best of me when I'm making big moves in my career, what I don't have is anxiety about how much I already adore this man.

Reaching up, I wrap my arms around his neck and hug Joon. Feeling his frame against me, I take in a deep breath feeling him shudder under my arms. My lips brush against his ear, and I hear his breath hitch.

"May I kiss you," I ask for his consent, waiting impatiently for his reply while I feel my body vibrate with anticipation.

"Please..." his answer comes out labored but with the sweetest sigh, like he's been waiting for this moment.

I pull him closer to eliminate the space between us; tilting my chin up, I look into his eyes, and it feels like a dream when I press my lips softly to his. We're gentle at first, and it's lovely exploring his lips against mine. Namjoon is sweeter than I had imagined a thousand times over since our eyes first met.

I can't help but cup his face in my hands and feel his soft skin under my fingertips; I lightly trace a finger across one of those perfect dimples I've stared at for weeks on end. Gliding my right hand up into his hair while our tongues begin to explore each other, he moans out the sweetest sound, which only makes me melt into the crook of his arm. I pull him down, feeling his arms wrap around me, and it feels like hours before we finally break our kiss.

"So sweet," I whisper into his ear while leaving a trail of feathery kisses down his neck.

"I was going to say that about you," he sighs as I look up at him. "Kissing you is better than I imagined, and I've imagined it many times over," he breathes out and then lovingly nuzzles his face into my neck with a long sigh. 

When I feel his lips lightly brush up against my neck, it's like a bolt of energy is pulsating from the top of my head all the way through to my toes that begin to curl. My attraction to Joon grows by the second as I feel his body melding with mine.

 "I wish I didn't have to go, but it's getting so late, and I actually have work commitments tomorrow," he murmurs.

"It's okay; text me, so I know you got home safe?" I ask while I sit up and run the back of my knuckle gently down his cheek.

"Absolutely, we'll talk soon. Yes?" His smile is almost shy, which is entirely unexpected and endearing.

"I'd love that! Bye, Sweetheart," I smile and exit the car before I can't pull myself away.

As I close my apartment door, I lock it and lean my back against it, still reeling from kissing that magnificent man.

Joon is the most wonderful person I've ever met in my entire life.

Jungkook...is the most...haunting. 

What am I going to do?