𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 ||

• "𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧?"

Requested :)

Warning: nightmare, violence, angst

     It was just another night unless you thought so. You and your boyfriend of two years and a half Bucky Barnes were cuddling in bed. You heard a yawn and smiled.

"Alright sarge, it's time to sleep, it's getting late." You said ruffling his soft short hair. Bucky gently grabbed your wrist and kissed it. "Only if you play with my hair." He said with a smirk."Okay okay, if that's what it takes then I'm good with that." You replied before kissing his cheek.

The steady rise and fall of Bucky's chest indicated to you that he was sleeping. You closed your eyes and began drifting into Morpheus's arms as well.

You woke up to sounds of pain and grunts. Slowly rubbing your eyes to figure out what was happening, you look to your right and noticed your boyfriend sweating and mumbling in his sleep. You quickly understood it was one of his nightmares. They tended to happen way less than before but something must have triggered him.

You sat on the bed and gently put a hand on his arm. "Hey, Bucky... Calm down honey it's okay you're fine." You whispered with a sad smile. Bucky jerked away and his mumbling started to get louder and louder.

Thats' when you noticed it was Russian. "Shit." You said. When Bucky's nightmares were in Russian, they were pretty bad. Running a nervous hand through your hair, you tried to soothe him by softly cupping his face and stroking it.

He seemed to have calmed down. All of a sudden, Bucky grabbed your wrist and began to tighten his grip on it. "Bucky please stop." You pleaded. The ex-Winter-Soldier pushed you off the bed and you fell with a thud.

Thankfully for you, this action made him release your wrist. Unfortunately, he got up and rushed towards you as if he was a possessed being, which he was in a way."Bucky you need to listen to me, you're having a nightmare and you're not in a normal state-" Your sentence got cut off by his fist colliding against your jaw. You grunted in pain and hardly stood up.

"James please..." You whispered."You are my mission." He said in an almost robotic voice."Bucky you need to stop, HYDRA isn't there anymore and you're safe. Please wake up..."

You looked at him in the eyes and saw nothing but a void. There was usually a spark of love but now it was gone. "I love you." You whispered, hoping this would do something.As a reply, his fist crashed into your stomach. A scream of pain let out your bloodied mouth. The Winter Soldier grabbed you by the throat and pinned you against the wall.

He started to squeeze hard, making it difficult for you to breathe. Tears began to roll down your cheeks. "Bucky I'm begging you to stop you're hurting me.""I need to end my mission." Said the man.

"Steve!" You tried to yell as hard as you could, hoping he would come. Bucky seemed to get triggered by the name. "My mission." He mumbled. A few seconds later, you felt the grip around your bruised throat loosen, and then nothing. You passed out.

When you woke up, you were in your bed with ice on your cheek. Your eyes fluttered open and you saw Steve and Tony beside you. "Where's Bucky?" You asked in a raspy voice. You began to sit up, ignoring the pain in your lower body. A hand stopped you.

"Y/n, you need to rest, you got beat up pretty badly..." replied Tony with a sad smile. "Is he okay? I need to see him." You said as you gently pushed his hand away. Steve looked at Tony."You won't be able to stop her from seeing him, just let her go, I'll be behind the door if anything happens." Reassured the super soldier. "Thank you, Steve."

You hardly got up and gladly accepted Steve's help as he put his hand around your waist. He told you that Bucky was locked in the bathroom. You knocked at the door. "Hey, Buck it's me... Can you open the door please?"

You heard sniffles coming from the room. Tears built up in your eyes. "Are you okay?" You asked, already knowing the answer. "I love you James alright? This wasn't you. You know I'm here for you, Steve as well. Your past is still hunting you sometimes but it's gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay, we're gonna be okay." You spoke softly.

"How can you say this Y/n..." Bucky said through the door. "I hurt you. This isn't the first time I've turned into the Winter Soldier and done this to you. I will never be able to forgive myself.""Like I said this isn't your fault, this is not James Buchanan Barnes's doing, this is HYDRA's. This is the fault of a disgusting organization." You rested your forehead on the door.

"Bucky I love you so much, I know you never mean to harm me in any way, I would have dumped you a long time ago if it was the case." You said with a slight chuckle. Steve put a hand on your shoulder, indicating he was leaving you some space with your boyfriend. You gave him a grateful smile. "it's just us now, you can come out."

"I don't want to hurt you Y/n, you are the most important thing in my life. You need to find someone better, someone who treats you right and doesn't hurt you because they're some messed up men."

"I can't let you say this. You are James Buchanan Barnes, you are my life and my love. I need you as much as you need me. I love you so much James, I would never leave you." You said as tears fell on the ground.

You heard the lock of the door open. Carefully getting in, you spotted Bucky sitting on the floor with messy hair and red eyes. He flinched when you got closer.

"Don't go near me y/n... I'm afraid I will hurt you again." He said in a whisper. You softly placed your hand on his arm and kissed it. "Please look at me, James." His eyes were filled with sadness.

"Y/n I..." He let out a sob. "I need to know now... Can you love me again?" His voice cracked at the end. "Of course, I can love you, I already do." You replied.

"I can't do this again... I told you once I can't do this again... I don't want to be a burden and hurt you. Whenever I have those nightmares I could kill you."

"James..." You gently cupped his face and he immediately burst into tears when he saw your bruised jaw. Backing up, he buried his head in his hand and began to violently sob. "Look at what I've done y/n! How can you stay and love someone like me... I'm so sorry y/n I... I'm such an awful monster."

"Bucky you're not a monster, HYDRA is. Now you need to forget about it and think about tomorrow, about our life together. I can't wait to see a mini us running in the compound and annoy Tony. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you... I love you Bucky."

His head perked up and you saw a spark in his teary eyes. "Really? Do you mean all of this?" You smiled. "Of course I do. Now come on let's go back to sleep." 

the end

Thank you for reading this, I hope you like it! I have some ideas that I need to write, my requests are open (sorry if sometimes it takes time) 

By the way, the end is inspired but the song Love me again if you didn't notice

Anyway, how are you lovely people doing? 

I'm proud to tell you my exams went really well hehe

Don't forget to drink a lot of water, especially since it's so hot outside. Take care of yourself, I love you guys so much <33

Author~