Chapter Sixty Two Trama

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( Tw mention of self harm) (Tw mention of mental hospitals)
(Don't worry everyone Charlie hasn't relapsed he's just discussing the topic of self harm!)

Charlie's perspective
"Ok that's great thank you so much" I hung up the phone as Nick was sitting beside me anxiously waiting to hear when his appointment is. "I know this may not sound like good news but trust me it is, there's no waiting list and you can go today your councillor already talked with them so they have a bit of information about you" His expression was hard to read he looked happy, confused and nervous all at once "Ok so today it is, I thought I would have had more time to prepare" I thought about how I should answer this then said "You don't need to do any preparation just go talk to the doctor and they'll do all the work" he smiled before saying "How did I get so lucky to have the most supportive fiancé in the world" My jaw almost dropped when he said this, is he kidding he's been supporting me through everything for years I can't even begin to think how hard it would be if Nick started cutting himself, i've realized now how hard it's been for him to think about the person he loves wants to hurt themselves. I've been trying really hard to get better and i've been doing great i've been eating proper meals no snacks yet but i'm getting there, and the thought of hurting myself hasn't crossed my mind. I can tell how light Nick feels knowing i'm improving and I feel the same. I poked him in the cheek and said "That place is already filled by you no discussion needed" he laughed as I started poking him in the gut "It's not even close" he smirks then says "It's not my fault that I just happen to have the most amazing fiancé in the world that I can't help but what to help him not feel any pain because he deserves the world" I throw my hands up in defeat "That settles it your the most supportive and sweetest how can I compete" he pulls me in my by my waist and whispers "Just shut up and kiss me" I wrap my arms around his neck welts he's holding my waist, as he starts a more fast pace rhythm I need to stand on my tippy toes to be able to reach him, it seems to be that he's gotten taller and there's a bigger height difference than high school which only makes him that much hotter. After we pull away Nick starts to make breakfast he always lets me choose when i'm nervous or upset even though it's such a small thing it makes me feel I don't know special and appreciated. Normally we decide together but I want him to feel special so I ask "What are we having" he responds "Hmmm what are we feeling today what about eggs or waffles maybe french toast?" "You choose today your choice" He smiles a bit and I can't tell that he realizes what i'm doing "French toast it is" he says shooting me one of his dreamy smiles.

I can't help but wonder as we're eating if it would be ok if I sat in on his appointment, I don't want be noisy or annoying, I just want to know what I can do to help him, Tao has been none stop asking when i'm going to come to my first meeting with the DnD club, right now is just not a good time I don't want to leave Nick for a few hours knowing how much it bothers him and how anxious he gets. I really want to go soon maybe if I knew more about how he's feeling I could decipher when a good time to start going is. "Nick" I say starting the conversation "yeah"he says between mouth fills I hesitate then say "Would it be ok if I maybe sat in on your appointment, I'm not trying to be like annoying I just want to know how I could help you, it's ok if you say no" he cuts me off before I could apologize "Char if you want to come I would love that and if you don't that's ok too I know the hospital is definitely not your favourite place" I never even registered what it would be like to go back to the hospital since last time. Last time was a nightmare them putting in a feeding tube broke me, I went crazy because it brought back all the memories of the mental hospital and how they held it over my head and constantly threatened me with it, I remember feeling helpless knowing that at any moment they had the right to restrain me. Nick restrained me last time and I'm happy now knowing it was him and not some random people but in the moment I was so upset an angry with him when I really shouldn't have been. "I think i'll be fine" I say giving him a reassuring look. "Ok but it's ok if your not you'll tell me right" I get up from my seat and kiss him on the cheek "I promise"

Authors Note
Thanks for all the love and support I love you all your comments brighten my day!!! ☀️🌞🌤

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