Marriage, a Heartstopper Fan-fiction

Chapter 136 This cant be goodbye

(Tw suicidal thoughts, self inflicted harm, suicide attempt?)

Nicks perspective
Charlie is all cuddled up against me still asleep, his breath is heavy and tight, he's still so anxious. My phone interrupts my thoughts making me take out my phone and peer down at the string of text messages sent by Tori, I took a deep breath focusing on opening my phone to see what she's sent, I don't really want to open them. These messages could hurt Charlie not intentionally but none the less and even though im not doing anything to hurt or betray Charlie I sure feel like I'm doing so by opening these knowing the content there going to entail. I look down at his soft relaxed face pushed up against my chest, his cheeks squished together causing him to look absolutely breath taking. His hair was all over the place but was everywhere but his face revealing his beautiful features, my stomach turned thinking about doing anything to hurt him, but my mind was telling me that this could protect him. I opened the string of text messages.

Nick I want to tell you please tell charlie that me and Michael want to buy a house because i've been offered a stable job with photography

I won't be moving all the time and can put Oliver in a real school for a fresh start

We're signing the papers today for the house...

I've also talked to mom she said that she'll allow Oliver to stay with me and Michael full time she won't let you guys Charlie is too unstable.

I re read the messages over and over again, so many times i've got them memorized, I couldn't let Charlie see the last one his heart would break how could Tori even say such a thing knowing Charlie will see it, I know it's not her words but Janes she repeating but she knows Charlie will see this, does she just not care about how this could affect Charlie clearly not or she wouldn't have said it. I ran my fingers through Charlie's hair snuggling up to him even closer than we already were

"I love you sweetheart, your my everything, your the kindest person i've ever met you bring me so much happiness I can't even explain it, i'm completely and always will be in love with you Char" I whispered well kissing his neck softly. "What was all that for" Charlie whispered back his voice tainted and sore from crying last night.

Charlie's perspective
I heard what Nick whispered to me well he thought I was asleep and I asked what was all that for, but I knew what was all that for, of course I did i'm not an idiot. Any moment now he was going to tell me some horrible news and I was just supposed to take it, I'm not sure how much more I can take, everything's beginning to be too much and life doesn't feel like it's worth it anymore. I hugged Nick not ready to let go of him, not yet anyways. "What has Tori said" I asked emotionless I wasn't feeling anything, everything around me felt dull and I felt dull. Nick handed me the phone "Sweetie It's just your mom talking not Tori and her opinion is nothing it's NOTHING char you have to believe me" I looked at him then took the phone reading the messages Tori has sent and just as I suspected everyone thought I wasn't good enough.

"Are you ok Char" Nick asked so quietly scared for the answer "They won't ever care how much I improve, they won't ever see how hard i've worked to get where I am, they'll only ever see me as an unstable train wreak of a person" I say putting the phone down, He takes my hand in his "My love I don't see you as any of those things not one" I look at him slamming my lips against his, feeling his hot saliva intruding into my mouth, the sensation of him and the feeling of happiness in-twisted into my body but it all stopped when he pulled away to catch his breath finishing the kiss, in that moment I felt ok but everything came back like it never left right after the kiss ended , I kissed Nicks cheek "Nick I really love you and it's not your fault" I say

Nicks perspective
"Nick I really love you and it's not your fault" what's not my fault what was he talking about the adrenaline pumped through my veins "Charlie what are you talking about, what is not my fault" I said in a panicked tone, this didn't sound good I have a terrible feeling growing inside of me, that is continuing to grow as he sits there silently, not saying a word. "it's to hard to say goodbye" he says as he gets up from the bed, and before I can even react he's gone into the our bathroom shutting the door and locking it. Fuck I run to the bathroom door jiggling the knob "Charlie" "Charlie open the door please" Tears have already flooded my vision my breath heavy and uncomfortable. "Charlie please open the door" I cried "i'm begging you too" "please" I started pounding my fists against the door "Charlie i'm serious open the door" Everything hurt, my whole body ached from pain just thinking about loosing him, I could hardly catch my breath I felt like I was choking on air, it was like the wind had been knocked out of me. "Please open the door" I pleaded completely desperate for him to do so. He was silent, there wasn't a single response coming from him. I cried and pounded the door harder , I was exhausted from crying and begging him repeatedly to open the door, I let my body slide down the door almost in a defeated manner "Char I love you so much, more than anything please please I need to hug you, I need your kisses, I need you, just open the door" My words were stuttered as I'm still choking on tears. "Char come on don't do this to me open up" "PLEASE OPEN THIS DOOR" I said louder.

Third person pov
Nick was crying his heart out, he could barely breath he was so worked up, tears and saliva falling from his face, his fist repeatedly pounding on the door in desperation for his fiancé to open it up. He pleaded and begged him to open the door but Charlie wasn't going to open it, Nick knew Charlie wasn't going to open it, he didn't want to accept the truth just yet so he still pleaded and prayed his loved one would come to his sense and open the door before it was too late. This wasn't goodbye, it can't be, can it....

Authors Note
this is the worst cliffhanger i've ever done i'm so sorry, see you guys tomorrow 😭😙 Thanks for reading and maybe voting or commenting it supports this story and keeps it going and I appreciate it SMMM <333 love you all xxx