Marriage, a Heartstopper Fan-fiction

Chapter 137 Im never letting go of you

Nicks perspective
Had I really given up on him I could still have time, he could still be ok, he needs to be ok. I stood up my legs wobbly and mind fuzzy, i've never felt pain like this in my life, it was a mental pain and was far worse than any physical pain that could be inflicted on a human being. My world was literally crashing down. Once on my feet I pressed the left side of my face against the door trying to hear his breath, trying to hear anything, anything at all. Tears were still continuously racing down my cheeks, I couldn't even feel them drop down from my eyes to my face anymore as it was completely soaked, some may even say drenched along with the ends of my sleeves grainy and wet, making me cringe like wet socks. They were soaked because i've been using them to wipe my face every so often, hoping to clear my sickeningly blurry vision, it never worked. "Charlie you there baby" I said knocking softly on the door, "Charlie i'm not mad at you no one is just open the door" I said with so much hope, I had so much hope he would just open the door. Everything stopped the ringing in my ears my struggle to breath it all stopped all at once in unison. Leaving me feeling lightheaded as the thought of Charlie not being able to open the door circled my mind. What if he's unconscious unable to ask for help or open the door. My heart pounded like never before.

Charlie's perspective
I was sitting on the floor watching the lights flicker every so often, it seemed to be a pattern, I've been sitting here trying to end it but i've found myself not wanting to, I don't want to end my life, I did a few minutes ago but sitting here on the bone chilling cold tile of our bathroom floor, I can't not think of Nick everything in here reminded me of Nick his toothbrush near millimetres away from mine, his favourite fuzzy head band that he liked to use when he washed his face like a teenage girl staring on a preppy TikTok account, His favourite sent of body wash sitting on the small shelve in the shower, the small shelves we liked so much when we first came and looked at this apartment, no other apartments had the little shelve in the shower and even thought it was something so small it mattered so much to us when we were looking for our perfect home. This was our first home together and might be our last home together but that would mean no more slow dancing in the shower, no more singing as we brush our teeth and never seeing Nick again. I Can't not see Nick ever again, The thought of never seeing him again killed me more than anything else ever could. I've never really cut myself in attempts to commit suicide, it's been a release for me over the years a emotional release something i've done that could release my emotions, numb the pain, it became an obsession a necessity, I didn't know how to handle my feeling in a proper manner because I relied on it, and obviously I still don't, I'm sitting on the floor thinking about everything, everything I want to leave behind but also everything I will miss out on if I do. I gently rest my head against the wall my body's leaning against and suddenly I feel a paper light square fall onto my head, I reach up grabbing the small square turning it's glossy surface over, the universe was telling me to hold on, I looked and saw a small picture of me and Nick sitting in a felid smiling holding up too beers, with his hand around my waist. I flip it over agin to see the writing on the back.

The back reads: Happy birthday babe I missed you more than anything! well You were away at uni, i'm not sure I can even fathom how much I love having you by my side, smiling and laughing, every second of everyday you make me the happiest person in the world and i'm so happy that after today we're going to spend everyday together for the rest of our lives. Nobody thought we would survive being apart for so long but I never had a doubt in my mind we can face anything together no matter how difficult...
Love, your soulmate x

I fiddled with the edges of the photo after reading what it said, it was right, I want to spend every last moment I have with Nick and that last moment should be at the end of our lives once we're old and have experienced life not now, im not going to be the reason our story ends right as it's beginning. I can hear Nick on the other side of the door sobbing so much his lungs are heaving for air, I try to speak but can't I want to move but feel like cement. I finally cry out "N-Nick I love y-you" taking a breath between each word.

Nicks perspective
"N-Nick I love y-you" I finally take a breath not realizing how long i've been holding mine. I stick my fingers under the door as far as they can possible go, his ice cold finger tips touch mine, I close my eyes, I thought I was never going to get to touch him again "Charlie are you ok" I said softly into the door, he responded his voice cold and stiff "yeah i'm ok" I couldn't even process my emotions, I laughed slightly in relief, letting my emotions go sobbing into my hands right after, I thought he was gone, I thought my best friend in the entire world wasn't going to be by my side anymore "Baby I thought you were gone" I said Interlocking our pinky's under the door "I'm sorry" he mumbled I couldn't take this anymore I needed to see him I needed to see physical with my own eyes he's ok "Please open the door I just about can't take it anymore char I need to see your ok" I stood up and heard him do the same, the door opened and seeing his face all wet his hands digging into his sides, the pure shook plastered over his face, made me forget about what just happened I needed to hug him I threw my arms around his body cradling his head into my chest with my hands. I slowly sat down on the floor basically collapsing to the ground in exhaustion, I rested my head on top of his unable to physically calm down "I thought you were dead" I cried hiccuping as I spoke. he hugged me tighter gripping onto my sweater. "I'm here" I cried more and more until I started to choke which turned into coughing "but I thought you weren't I was going to knock the door down but I didn't want to accidentally hit you, I didn't know what to do, I-I panicked " Charlie loosened his grip trying to get up but I tightened my grip on him not allowing him to leaving my arms "Nick I was going to go get some water for you, your voice sounds very dry" I kissed his forehead "Not allowed your never leaving my arms again" he snuggled into me saying "I love you" I rubbed his back "I love you more than anything char" I said well still crying my eyes out I just couldn't stop. Charlie ran his fingers through my hair and planted a kiss on my nose "Wanna lay down snuggle for a bit" he asked I kissed him on the lips "Mmhm" I nodded still unable to control the tears flushing out of my eyes.

Authors Note
Did yall really think I was going to kill off Charlie NEVER EVER EVER!!!!! how could I Charlie is my baby. Hope you liked the second part to the cliffhanger love you guys take care of yourself drink water have a snack and get rest xxx btw I didn't respond to anyones comments yesterday just because I didn't want to spoil it!!!! NOT BECAUSE I DONT ADORE YOU BECAUSE I DO 😘😘😘