Marriage, a Heartstopper Fan-fiction

Chapter Seventeen OCD struggles

(This chapter contains a small amount of smut and does not go into too much detail, read authors note at the bottom for context)

Charlie's perspective
I woke up around 8:00 this was pretty early for me now after being prescribed those sleeping pills. Every morning I will crawl up onto Nick stomach and lay there. I felt my OCD acting up, I had the urge to count Nicks breaths until I counted 303, 303 was one of those where random numbers that had always stuck with me like glue. I gave into the urges I couldn't resist, one, two, three, four...... I mumbled each number so I wouldn't lose count. By the time I was finished counting Nick started to rustle around then he woke up. He looked at me and said "Where you having a nightmare I could here you mumbling something, you know you can wake me up if you had a nightmare" I nestled my head into his chest and responded "I wasn't having a nightmare but it's embarrassing" he replies "Charlie you know you can tell me come on" I sighed and said "I was counting your breaths up to 303 because my stupid mind won't let me be a normal person" he ruffled my hair and slides his thumb across my cheek before he said "Charlie why would you think that's embarrassing it's not your fault and many people struggle with OCD just like you, I'm happy you told and didn't try to hide it like you used to" I felt embarrassed because I had been doing so well with my mental health but now I just feel like I've gone back ten steps "I didn't want to disappoint you, I wanted you to be proud of me"

"Charlie I'm always proud of you, I love you  and every part of you, so if you need to count my breaths i'm always here" he then rested his head on my chest and started to count in such a cute soft voice "one, I love Charlie, two, I love Charlie......" I pulled all his hair out of his face to see his big beautiful brown eyes, he was still counting then stopped and said "I need to have a shower" I slumped down and said "No Nick stay and cuddle with me" he then smirked and replied " Well you could always join me if you don't want to be lonely" I blushed, I really wanted to; we have had showers together before, but showing is really hard for me because of my OCD it always acts out when i'm in the shower. I hated doing the wired little things my brain would force me to do in front of  Nick I feel helpless and embarrassed; god why did I have to be so weird. "Ok Ill join you" I say.

The second I said that Nicks smile grew two times the size and he pulled me by my hand and led me to the bathroom. He put his hands under my shirt and started tickling my back all the way up my spine before pulling off my shirt. I put my hand down his pj pants and then pulled them off, he took of his shirt and then pulled off my boxers.  I turned on the water and as we waited for it to heat up I grabbed the side of his face and said "We could've had sex if you wanted to you, you didn't need to ask me to have a shower with you just to get me naked" he starts laughing a bit and says "who says I wanted to have sex" I pull his head down to mine and start kissing him very passionately. My tongue moving around exploring his mouth. He pulls away and says "come on lover boy we're going to run out of hot water if we keep this up, maybe we could resume later" I smile and walk into the shower with him the hot water beating down on my head and back felt good. Nick starts lathering his hair with 2 in 1 shampoo and I start to feel urges to wash my hair 3 times. I go to grab the shampoo and he hands it to me I wash my hair once then put the shampoo back on the little shelf After a few seconds I can't stop myself from reacher over him and grabbing the shampoo bottle again.

"Charlie didn't you just wash your hair" Nick said confused I looked at him and say " yea my mind is being stupid and controlling today" Nick looked a little embarrassed "Charlie i'm sorry I forgot I should've known that was a dumb question; three times right?" I nod and felt appreciated I can't believe he payed enough attention to know that my numbers always had three in it. He then took the shampoo bottle out of my hand and started washing my hair for me he washed it twice more and I felt the compulsive thoughts leave my mind. "I love you" he said and I couldn't help but melt on the inside "I love you too" I replied. I grabbed the body wash and cracked it open and poured some onto the palm of my hands. I lathered it up between my hands and started rubbing it all over nicks back, I worked my way down his body making sure every part of him was clean; I have to admit this was more of a pleasure for me than him. He turned to face me and said "My turn to have fun" I smile at him and he starts rubbing me everywhere. He starts giving me a hand job and it felt so good; with the warm water hitting my skin. once he finishes I say with a smirk "You couldn't have waited tell after the shower could you" He looks at me and says "I think you were the one who couldn't wait" then peers down at my junk. I pull him in tight and say "we could always dry off and I could explore you a little bit" Nick says "what are you waiting for come on let's go" We get dried off and head to the bedroom.

Authors Note
Many people are saying online that they will not include smut because Kit conner and Joe Locke don't feel confortable with it and it's sexualizing them witch is valid, but this story is not about kit conner nor joe Locke it's about Nick and Charlie, Alice in her comic is starting to add some elements of sexual activity and has wrote about them having sex in the book Nick and Charlie so please don't think i'm trying to be disrespectful to Kit conner and Joe Locke. Hope you enjoyed 🤍❤️❤️🤍