Marriage, a Heartstopper Fan-fiction

Chapter Twenty Three Lunch

(TW Ed there is a ton of mention of the struggles that come along with having an ed so if that triggers you please don't read todays chapter ❤️❤️❤️)

Charlie's perspective
"COME ON BOYS" She yelled it again just to make sure we heard here. Nick stopped me in my tracks when I was walking through the ocean towards Nicks family sitting on the beach blanket waiting for us. Nick then says "Charlie you are so strong and Im so proud of you" I just smile back in return then he wrapped his left arm around my side and we continued walking towards them. Although Nick was just trying to be sweet and encouraging it kinda was the last thing I wanted to hear right now. I wanted to make him proud but I have been thinking some bad things all day and I can't stop it from happening. I feel more pressure now to eat and look like a perfect family, I was just going to eat no matter what, really what other choice did I have. We walk up together with Nick's arm wrapped around my side. Once we got close enough to hear them I heard david say faintly "Guys let's not even wait for them come on we all know that little wimpy guy isn't going to eat anything because he's messed up in the head, let's dig in without them" Then Nicks mom said "Shhh DAVID! don't be ridiculously rude when they come you better be nice" I looked over to Nick and he seemed unbothered I knew he didn't hear what david had said because he probably would have kicked his ass if he did. We reached the blanket with everyone and Nicks mom said "Alright guys let's have lunch as a peaceful family please!" David ignored her and rolled his eyes. I wasn't excited at all but I took a plate and then put a few pieces of fruit on it with a small biscuit, I slowly started eating the fruit one by one forcing a smile on my face. I got down to the biscuit and I started eating it even though I wanted to burst out crying I felt so anxious and the worst part was I had to shove it down inside me and fake a smile for everyone around me. Why can't I just be a normal human being for once and not be so crazy, david was right I was messed up in the head.  I felt terrible I ate everything so fast I couldn't process what I just did, then David slap down a donut on my plate and said "Here bro, you look like you could put on a few pounds" That was so embarrassing he said that and everyone looked at me Nick grabbed it off my plate and said "It's fine Charlie you don't need to eat this you already ate" David snapped back "No no bro I gave it to him he wants it, right Charlie?" I froze I really couldn't handle anymore but I heard what he said and I wanted to prove to everyone I wasn't messed up anymore like the broken teenager I once was. I definitely wasn't that much better since then but I still at least wanted to fake it. I said "yea sure it looks good" Nick looked at me surprised and confused I just gave him a fake smile to get him off my case, I didn't want a big scene to happen. I started eating the donut It was sticky and chewing and thick with tons on sugary sprinkles. I felt so gross and my brain kept telling me so many bad things were going to happen to Nick if I ate this, I just ignored it and stomached it. I then said to Nick who was sitting beside me "I'm going to go find the washroom I'll be back" he replies "ok" I start walking fast towards the outhouse I saw earlier it was probably a five minute walk from where we were sitting. I got there and the thoughts wouldn't stop "Throw it up" "Something bad is  going to happen" I started crying I didn't want to go this low again I felt so fragile and vulnerable I gave in. I stuck my two fingers down my throat until I started to gage myself I kept doing that until "HUURRK" all that lunch and my breakfast came flowing out of my mouth, the acid taste filled my mouth and then left again. I felt good and awful at the same time why did I do this Nick would be so disappointed. "Knock" "Knock" then I hear Nicks voice yelling "CHARLIE LET ME IN NOW"

Authors note
sorry to leave you on a bit of a cliff hanger but you will know what happens tomorrow, love you all 🫶🫶🫶