Marriage, a Heartstopper Fan-fiction

Chapter 107 Does he Still Love Me

Charlie's perspective
Nick had finished his breakfast and I was still working on mine, Lately i've been trying really really hard and i'm improving with my eating, well that's what Nick says, i'm not so sure I believe him, I just feel like I take a step forward and five back, I can't eat at a normal pace and I can't even eat most things because it triggers me, I just wish I could get better but it feels so far out of reach whats even the point, I was so caught up in my own thoughts I didn't even notice Nick starring at me. "You ok" he asked and I just put the thoughts and worries away I had bigger things to focus on today like sorting out this Imogen situation, a bitch like her isn't going to stop my fiancé from following his dreams if I have anything to do with it, I kept thinking last night about what I thought yesterday and how I could do something to protect him like he always did for me. "I'm alright just a little slow today sorry" I said meeting his stare, he tapped my nose with his index finger "No saying sorry remember it's not allowed in this house hold" I laughed as he said that in a posh accent, "I didn't forget, but I did forget to tell you I promised Tara I would meet up with her today" he tilted his head to the side "Why, that's random" Nick questioned which just made me more hesitant, I didn't respond right away I needed to think of the perfect excuse, eventuallyI came up with "Tara and darcy are having some problems so she needed someone to confide in and when she asked me of course I said yes" He smiled softly responding to my lie "your such a good friend Char"  I hate lying to him I feel so guilty seeing his sweet smirk and him complimenting me when i'm about to go do the thing he specifically told me not to do, fuck was this really the right idea or was I just making everything worse "When are you leaving" Nick said with a confused look plastered all over his face, "Right now" I blurted out, I needed to go now before I go back on my decision.

Nicks perspective
"Bye love you, drive safe" I shut the door and slid down the wall, sitting on the floor with my knees to my chest, to be honest i'm kinda bummed Charlie left I really needed him right now, I don't know how I feel and I don't know what to do to make this feeling stop and now he's gone the only thing i'm sure of right now was him, wanting to hold him in my arms, I just wanted him, I can't believe he left I would never leave him, so why did he leave me. It just kinda feels like he doesn't care about me anymore, my heart feels like it's been stabbed and my head is pounding because I can't get what happened out of my head and just want it all to stop.

One short car ride later...
Charlie's perspective
"One deep breath is all you need" I mumbled under my breath before confidently walking into the building, I walked in with confidence this was for Nick, I would fo anything for Nick. I walked up to the front desk were that prick was sitting I slammed my hand down in front of her, instantly grabbing her attention "I need to talk to the manager around here" I said angrily. Everything about her made me furious, she scoffed but dialled the number into the phone that was beside her "Some guy needs to speak to you" she said then hung up the phone. A few minutes pass and out comes the manger and to my delight she was obviously gay just making this all the more easy for me, She was wearing doc martins with light frilly socks her hair was died pink it was a short bob like hair cut, she had many pins from rainbow ones to animal ones and even the lesbian flag witch lead me to believe she was gay, right as she came close to me I put my hands over my face and started to fake cry, "Darling what's wrong, please come into my office" I walked with the sweet lady to her office, I sat down on her sofas and looked up at her "Do you know Nick Nelson" I asked, she smiled "Yes he's done a few shoots he's one of our only few male models on contract here, we mostly do one time shoots but he's brilliant " I can't help the smile that's forming on my face as she talks so highly of my fiancé. "I'm Charlie Spring his fiancé" she nods her head "So your the lovely boy he talks about" I blush I'm pretty surprised he talks about me at work, but then I frown again remembering why i'm here not to gush about my fiancé but get this bitch out of his life. "Well I like to pick him up from work and the past two times I have your receptionist Imogen has been sexually harassing me" She looked shocked "i'll call the police" "No don't it's not that serious nothing happened per say she's just been saying inappropriate things and I just thought that you would want to know because this could affect your business if she's doing this to other people" I wish I would've have told the truth because maybe then she could've got in more trouble but Nick didn't want me to say anything about him I get it he was embarrassed so I kinda thought outside the box I didn't mind saying it was me as long as she gets what she deserves. "Alright then i'll be talking with her and if she ever causes another problem for you tell me right away" I smiled as I walked out the door "Thank you"

Back at home...

Nicks perspective
I was still sitting on the floor in the same position and same spot as when Charlie left, The thought of him not loving me anymore circled around my head this whole time why did he leave, he obviously doesn't even care about me or he would have made sure I was feeling ok before going off with his mate. The door creaked open and I immediately saw Charlie look down at me on the floor, I didn't look up at him, I was too upset too even see his face right now. He knelt down and cupped my face in his hands and said "Nick ,love have you been here since I left" "You left me" I said my breath hitched and voice wobble, His face went pale and the look of guilt took over "Nick just let me explain" Tears were flooding my face "Explain what that you left me when I needed you" I could see the hurt in his eyes but I didn't care he was the one who left not me "I needed you Charlie" I said louder this time my voice rang through the apartment, he then says "I went to see your manger" I snapped my sadness turned into anger in an instant, I bloody well asked him not to say anything about it, how could he "I asked you not too, I trusted you" I said loud and in an angry tone, "Nick" he started to say but I cut him off "Does trust mean nothing to you" "I didn't" I cut him off again "I can't believe you did that and lied to me" angry tears fell from my eyes as I looked at him, "I said she was harassing me... not you and the manger said that if we have any problems with her she'll sort it out" silence filled our apartment, my anger turned back into sadness again, fuck what is going on with me Charlie was helping me and i just went off on him, I started crying again, I felt so awful for yelling at him he took the blame for me and I was yelling at him for it, "You took the blame" I asked quietly and he immediately sat down beside me pulling my head into his chest, wrapping his arms around me, I had so many emotions going at once I had nothing to say I just sobbed into his chest. "yes of course I took the blame i'd do anything for you, I'm sorry for leaving I just wanted you to not feel scared to go back to work, I promise i'll never leave you when your upset again I promise"

Third person
The two sat on the floor of their hallway with Charlie holding Nick, well Nick sobbed he was so mentally drained he couldn't fight his inner battles anymore he was exhausted, Charlie hugged him as he sobbed, encouraging him and telling him how amazing he was and how many people loved and cared for him, Charlie knew he couldn't make Nick stop crying even though it broke his heart every second he heard Nick cry, Eventually Charlie calmed him down and he let Charlie take care of him, Charlie ran a bath for Nick with all his favourite scents, pumpkin and autumn themed variations, Nick loved autumn it was his favourite season, he loved watching the kids go from house to house with excited faces, Nick missed a few halloweens because his mom had to work late and his dad wasn't around to take him, that's why he became obsessed with watching other kids go trick or treating, he also loved taking Oliver out with Charlie when they were still living at home with their parents, Nick wanted every kid to enjoy halloween and not miss out like he did. Charlie liked winter more he loved the warm coziness of it all, it was comforting, plus he loves wearing warm sweaters all season. Nick laid on Charlie's chest in the warm bath, well Charlie praised him and told him over and over how much he loved him like a broken record, Nick eventually calmed down even more and they talked about what Nick wanted to do and what he was comfortable with, Nick agreed to go back to work for awhile and see if things would get better, Charlie finally convinced him to give it another go he was quite sure Imogen wouldn't be a problem anymore.

Authors Note
here's a long chapter since I was camping, This chapter warms my heart and breaks it, just thinking about Nick sitting at the door waiting for Charlie to come thinking he doesn't care about him cause he left, when really he was actually going to his work and standing up for him 🥹❤️ LOVE YOU ALL and i'm so proud of all of you for staying strong and eating when you can and trying to stop self harming, I relapsed tonight but tomorrow will be a better day and I need to focus on that, it's ok if you relapse as long as you try try again to get better. I'm really really trying. ❤️❤️❤️