Marriage, a Heartstopper Fan-fiction

Chapter 135 OVERWHELMED

Nicks perspective
I opened the door to our apartment still feeling angry like the fire pit in my stomach hadn't quite gone out yet, but my emotions were under control now. Coach Sing had called me in the car saying that the students were expelled from the school, I thought they would only get suspended for a week or two but i'm happy the school is really taking this serious. I walked over to the couch hardly being able to see as the only source of light was our dime lamp in the living room, when I got closer I saw Oliver wrapped up in Charlie's favourite blanket on the couch fallen asleep, he was watching the tv but obviously got too tired and fell asleep, he was so much like Charlie it was crazy. I picked him up gently and brought him to his room tucking him into bed, he's a Spring of course he didn't wake up they are are such deep sleepers. I plugged in his phone for him and placed a cold glass of water on his night stand beside him. "Night Ollie" I whispered my tone sounding soft.

I walked into our room and heard Charlie's softened low voice similar to mine "Nick?" I could not only hear the sadness in his voice but see it in his mannerisms, he was curled up in our bed with the covers pulled over his face. I gently lifted the covers revealing him "baby come here" I said getting in bed beside him he slowly crawled into my arms lying directly on top of me "baby what's making you feel anxious" I asked knowing something was wrong, he mumbled into my chest "I'm not anxious i'm fine" I could feel the humming of his voice when he spoke, I kissed his head "Really, are you lying to me sweetheart" I questioned "I'm not lying" he snapped back, I grabbed his significantly smaller hand that was placed on my chest beside his head holding it in mine feeling his hand uncontrollably tremble at a fast pace "babe your hand is trembling, your anxious tell me what happened"

Charlie's perspective
I didn't want to break down again I didn't want to tell Nick what happened because I didn't want to cry again today, it's taken everything in me to not cry again. I've already cried so much and I feel like i'm annoying Nick I know i'm not but I can't shake this haunting thought that always lurks in the back of my mind and comes out when I least expect it too. "I'm sorry" I say knowing I shouldn't think this but can't help to, He places his hand on the back of my head "love no saying sorry, your allowed to feel how your feeling... but I could maybe help you if you told me what's wrong" I sat up instantly feeling the cold empty feeling rush down my body as I left his arms, I turned away from him and drew my hands up to my face quickly, covering the fact that my eyes were welling up "fuck" I mumbled rubbing my wet eyes. I felt Nick place his hand softly on my back the warmth it admitted made me want more, I wanted to be snuggled into his arms. "Charlie what's wrong" I threw my shoulder back knocking his hand off me "Nothing is wrong" I said trying to sound as if I wasn't crying. "Baby we both know that's not true" I sat there silently, wishing I wasn't so caught up in my head why did I have to push him away when all I want to do is let him in, why did I have to be so difficult, how can he even love someone like me i'm... I didn't know what I am or what is wrong with me it's like when anything or anyone good comes into my life I try to sabotage myself... and them. Tori's right i'm ruining Oliver's life. If he stays with me i'll ruin his life. I dig my fingers into my head and press my palms against my eyes pretending that by pressing on my eyes the tears will stop. "Char tell me" he says again and it felt like he's asked me this a hundred times in the span of two seconds I was losing my mind everything was too much. "I CANT BECUSE I SABOTAGE EVERYTHING" he grabs my waist with his large hands and turns me around to face him but I don't withdraw my hands from my face, as if that was going to help he definitely could see the stream of tears coming down my face dripping onto my sleeve. He touches my arm "Love you don't sabotage anything" "I DO" I yell, he tightens his grip on my arms "No sweetheart you don't" I slowly remove my hands from my face and ask "How can you even possibly love me" whilst breaking down in tears, which rapidly turns into sobs "Because your amazing angel" he pulls me into his chest and I fall in place clinging onto him for dear life. "I'm ruining your life and i'm soon going to do the same to Oliver's, what is wrong with me" I cried "shhh" he whispered into my ear, hearing his voice and his warm breath against my neck made me feel safe so I laid on his chest not saying a word, enjoying this feeling. "What is this about" he asked for the last time his tone of voice confident, he knew I was calm enough to tell him. I looked up at him peering down at me "This is about everything that's going on and then Tori yelled at me over the phone and now I know why she did she's right i'm broken there's is something wrong with me you can't fix" he kissed me tenderly "Your not broken, Char your the furthest thing from that, now tell me what did Tori yell at you for" I looked down breaking our gaze "She thinks i'm failing Oliver, she doesn't think i'm being responsible enough, but this is my best! i'm trying so hard to do what's best for him I just I don't know anymore i'm so confused" He held me tighter and that's exactly the feeling my body ached for "Your doing better than I could've ever imagined, Char you made yourself, him, and me dinner! you ate a whole meal and made it for Oliver that's amazing, i'm beyond proud of you" he kissed me again with his soft lips making me realize what he was saying was true, he was right. "She thinks Oliver should come live with her full time, do you think she's right" I wanted Nick to tell me the truth but I know if he agrees with her it will shatter my heart. "I think he will love living here with us, and I think he would love living with Tori just as much, but that's only my opinion the only person's opinion who's matters is Olivers I think he should decide" I closed my eyes letting myself sink into Nicks arms "we could ask him tomorrow" I said, he kissed my forehead then both cheeks "I'm so proud of you"

Authors Note
Sorry for posting a little irregular lately i've just been so busy with school and stuff. LOVE YOU ALL SO FREAKING MUCH AHAHAH your comments lately have been tooooo sweet ugh i'm so lucky to have the best readers thank you for reading and supporting me <333 xx