Warming the Ice Queen's Tears

Chapter 39.1

Alonna

"We need to talk." Yan agad ang sinabi ko pagkapasok palang niya.

Kinakabahan ako at hindi ko mapigilang paglaruan ang mga daliri at singsing ko dahil sa nerbyos. Sasabihin ko na. I'm going to say that I want him back. That I'll never going to push him away again.

He was standing there with a simple round neck gray shirt and maong. Kahit ano talagang isuot niya bumabagay sa kanya. He was just too perfect for me.

"Yeah. I think we should." He smiled a bit. "Kailangan talaga nating mag-usap."

"I agree."

"Yes. We need to about us. I mean kailangan natin yon para kalimutan na ang nakaraan and start a new. Soooo... You were there."

"Should we sit first."

"Ow. Yeah-right." He chuckled and sat at the end of the bed. I did the same and sat beside him but not that close. Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. Alam kong naiilang siya sa pag-uusap na ito. Ako rin naman. Things right now between us are a bit awkward.

He cleared his throat and was starting to say something when I spoke directly to the point.

"I want you back."

Nagulat siya at napalingon agad sa'kin. Nagtataka na para bang iniisip kung totoo ba o hindi ang sinabi ko.

"What?"

"I said I want you back and I'm serious, Kristoff."

Napailing siya at tumayo. Nalilito ako sa kinikilos niya. Bakit? Hindi ba ito ang dahilan kung bakit kami nag-uusap ngayon? For us to be together again?

He raked his fingers through his hair.

"I thought we're here to forget about the mess between us so that we could live our lives separately?"

"Who said something about that? Nag-uusap tayo so we could be together again. I love you and-"

"Wait." He closed his eyes shut. Tumalikod siya sakin at tumahimik saglit. Hindi ko alam kung anong iniisip niya. Gusto kong malaman. Nung humarap siya at nakakunot ang noo niya. "Is this another game you're playing because if it is, I don't want any part of it. I'm done with it, Rainne at ayoko nang maniwala. Alam mo, nakikita kong seryoso ka pero ayoko nang sumugal. I already have done that. I placed all I had on the table and got nothing. I really want to believe you but you play good. You play too good that it's hard for me to decide whether to disagree and have an okay life or say yes just to end up broken again. Hindi ko talaga alam. And for the record, I could settle for an okay life. An okay life without you."

My heart was mourning with his last words. Something piercing inside it that it made me gasped silently for air.

Tinitigan ko ang malungkot niyang mga mata at alam kong ganun din ang nakikita niya sa'kin. Ang sakit. Ang sakit lang. Ganito na ba ang resulta ng pag-iwan ko kanya. Sa pagtulak ko sa kanya paglayo? Is this the price I need to pay?

"I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry for pushing you away. I'm sorry for saying those words to you at hindi kita masisisi kung ganyan ang iniisip mo. Nagkamali ako, Kristoff. I didn't mean those things. Not a thing. Please believe me this time, please." I sounded like begging pero wala akong pakialam.

My voice was pleading pero luluhod ko sa harap niya para mapatawad niya lang ako. Para ibalik ang nakaraan at para mapasaakin siya ulit. Alam kong hindi lang kami ang involve. Alam kong maraming masasaktan pero wala rin akong pakialam. I would be selfish as I could be para lang sa kanya. I would take this shot to have him again.