Into your heart! [ZhanYi FF]

Chapter 32 -Goals, Wishes and Dreams

While Yibo went to his room to wait until his parents also went to sleep and he could sneak into Zhan's room, he sat down at his old desk, turned on his laptop and watched some videos that were made of him in competitions.

After an hour, he shut his laptop and peeked downstairs into the living room. His parents were still awake and he still couldn't sneak over to Zhan. So he closed his bedroom door again and looked at all the medals and trophies he had won in competitions over the years.

And when he finally arrived at his bookshelf, his eyes fell on a book labeled, "The Secret Diary" and took it out. It looked like a real book, but it was really a secret diary that Yibo had once received for his birthday from a girl, a former classmate. She told him then that he could record his successes, dreams and wishes in it.

Yibo found this laughable at first. Writing a diary as a boy seemed like a strange thing for him to do. Boys don't do that sort of thing, and that's it. But when he held it in his hands again at home, after taking it out of his school bag, he didn't think the idea was so laughable after all. On the contrary, he spent the rest of the evening writing in this diary.

Reading what he had written in this diary at that time brought back many memories. Almost every day he had written in it until there was no page left. And he reread page after page and it brought back to him not only memories but also longings and desires that he thought he no longer had.

Although he couldn't be happier right now and his life couldn't be more exciting, he suddenly felt bad. As if he had betrayed himself. Himself, his dreams, his hopes, longings and desires.

When he finally got to the last page and read what his former self had written, tears came to his eyes. "Never will I let anything, or anyone, get in the way of my goals! I know what I want and I will achieve it. No matter how! I will never give up! Only when I have achieved everything I want, I will think about my further life. Until then I remain faithful to my principles! I Wang Yibo, swear that I will not rest until I am who I always wanted to be!"

Yibo sat down on his bed after putting his diary away again. He told himself that his goals and dreams have changed. He is no longer the 15 year old dreamer who wrote in that diary. He is now 19 years old, at the sports and arts academy he always wanted to go to and he has found his dream man and now wants to become an agent.

After a while, his parents were still in the living room, Yibo lay down on the bed and closed his eyes. He thought about Zhan and how much he loves him. He thought about the training to become an agent starting on Monday and his further training to become a "superstar" and that he will probably marry Zhan very soon.

And suddenly Yibo's heart began to race. An uncomfortable racing heart. He felt hot and dizzy. He felt like he couldn't breathe and like someone had sat on his chest. He jumped out of bed, opened the window and breathed in the cool night air. He was shaking all over, wondering, "What do I do now? Am I really ready for all this?"

Yibo knew he had only this one night to find the answers to these questions. So he lay back on the bed, without having closed the window again, and decided to think about what the answers to those two questions might be.

The next morning...

After Yibo didn't join him in the room until 2 a.m., and Zhan assumed that Yibo had simply fallen asleep, he too had fallen asleep. In the morning, after a quick shower, he went downstairs and found Yibo's mother alone in the kitchen. Yibo's father had already gone to the house of one of his other wives and Yibo still seemed to be asleep.

Zhan helped Yibo's mother prepare breakfast and called his parents' house. He was supposed to invite them to the barbecue in the afternoon, after all. He had not reached them in the evening. Although he had reached them now, they could not agree to come because they were with friends and would not be back until Wednesday. So they postponed the barbecue to the next weekend.