Into your heart! [ZhanYi FF]

Chapter 34 - Heartbeat

Actually, Yibo would have liked to take care of his parents' marriage problems, because he didn't believe that his dad really doesn't love his mom anymore. Because he just knows that his dad will always love his mom. That she will continue to be his dream wife. And that his mom wants nothing more than for his dad to come and ask her to return to him.

But Yibo wasn't fooling himself either. He couldn't even solve his own love problems and had so many appointments that he often barely got to sleep or eat. Most of the time he slept when he was taken from one appointment to the next. As for eating, he often ate nothing for a day or two, then a little, and then nothing again.

A few nights ago, when Yibo returned to the hotel from his many appointments, having eaten nothing and barely able to keep his eyes open from tiredness, his mom had been waiting for him. She had gotten him something to eat and after he had eaten and showered, she lay down in bed next to him, wrapped her arms around him and kissed his forehead.

"Is this how you imagined your fame? Is this what you always wanted?" She asked him softly.

"I knew it would be hard mom. But this level of hardness, I never assumed. I wanted to be a famous superstar and I made it. But I sacrificed a lot to get there. Too much, probably. Because some of what I had to leave behind, I'll never get back."

"Like Zhan?"

"How do you figure it now?"

"Well, it's obvious you're looking for him."

"Really?"

"Mn. It is to me. And I understand that, too. You loved him very much and you left without saying goodbye to him. You left him because your dreams and goals were more important to you than he was."

"That's not entirely true mom."

"Oh yes it is my darling. You always wanted to be famous and entertain everyone with your talents. And on top of that, you got scared. At 19 at the time, you weren't ready to commit so tightly. You had only been together for a short time and had a difficult road until then. And suddenly when you had him and we were talking about getting married, you panicked. You hadn't achieved what you wanted and you weren't ready for marriage. You were afraid you'd end up like me."

"Mom I..."

"I married your dad at the same age you were and gave up all the plans I had for him and my marriage to him. I never learned to stand on my own two feet and made myself dependent on your dad by marrying him. I know that you never wanted that kind of life. And that you were afraid you'd end up like me. Because you probably realized that you would give up everything for Zhan. Because then he would be all that mattered to you."

"Yes, at first I thought like that. I thought that's why I wanted to run away. But then I lay in my bed and thought about Zhan and his career. About what he always wanted to achieve. And then I thought that he would give up everything just for me. Just because of me, he came back to Keno Academy and put all his plans for me on hold. I didn't want that. How could I let him give up everything he worked so hard for all his life just for me?"

"Why didn't you tell him so and claim it was all about you?"

"Because it was about me, too. I thought about myself and I wanted to achieve my goals. I really wanted that. So it wasn't a lie. At the same time, I also cared about Zhan. I knew no matter what I would say to him, he would still follow me everywhere and give up everything for me. So I had to find a way for him to achieve his goals as well. And the only way to do that was to run away and not give him the chance to follow me."

"See? You'll never end up like me. Because even at 19, you were smarter than your dad and I were back then. I really hope you can find Zhan and explain everything to him."