Sticking with you (bxb)

Chapter 29

Trigger warning: mention of mental disorder

Sophia's pov.

My mood was still bad. I thought a little rest would make me myself again but I was completely wrong. From the moment I got home and laid my body down on my precious and soft bed, I didn't leave there

I closed the curtains because as much as I loved the sun, today I wanted to crawl in my safe place in the dark and sleep but I couldn't even do that.I made my pillow and lay down with my thick blanket over my head so all I could hear was my steady breathing

I tried to close my eyes and concentrate in the dark but after a few seconds they would flatter open. I read books I didn't know that they existed in my bookshelves, I heard all the kinds of music that I didn't think I would listen ever in my life, I stared at the ceiling without thoughts running in my mind for the first time

And then the door opened and I sighed, turning my head away. My mom comes every minute and asks the exact same question "How are you?" and I answer the same exact thing over and over again "fine" with a simple monotonous voice

Well, this time after a word from me in response I didn't hear the characteristic sound of the door closing so I turned around. My mum was standing in her casual pajamas with hair up in a messy ponytail, smiling and holding a plate of food

"I brought you food" she said in a quiet voice as she left the plate in the nightstand "I'll bring you a glass of water in a bit too" she seemed worried and when I looked at her eyes I felt awful. She didn't sit down to take a breath. For the last few hours I could hear her pacing up and down

"Thanks and don't worry about the water" I passed for a minute and then continued "or for me in general, I'm fine" I said even if I clearly wasn't and then smiled

She still was tense but her face softened and she gave me a small reassuring smile like she knew what I was going through. With a quick turn she approached the door opened it and left before closing it again

I took a deep breath that I was holding for the moment my mum stepped inside and took the plate, placing it in my bed. Of course she did my favourite. Lasagna. I grabbed the fork and started eating bit by bit slowly . I didn't know if I was doing this because I wanted to enjoy this delicious food and his taste or because I just couldn't completely enjoyed it

After some minutes and a few bites I gently left the plate on the nightstand again. My mum hadn't brought me the water yet, not that I was worried. Something probably drew her attention and forgot about it but I was thirsty. I tried to call her but she didn't answer

It was impossible to leave without telling me something.I passed my blanket away and stood up wearing my slippers and headed for my door. I opened it and stuck my head out waiting to hear something. I went outside and closed the door when I didn't hear anything

I went to the living room but she wasn't there. Suddenly I heard someone talking but I couldn't understand much. That was obviously my mum. The sound was coming from her bedroom which door was closed

I left my slippers on the floor behind me and took a few quiet steps. I tried not to make any sound. It wasn't that I was assuming something bad but I wanted to listen to who she was talking to. It might be important. She had never closed the door while she was talking

Am I being bad? Well...

When I finally reached the door, I stuck my ear on it so I could hear anything. She seemed upset, her voice was on edge, panicking. She was struggling to keep it down. Even with the door between us I could hear everything

"Yeah, that's why I have been calling you" I heard the bed creak probably from my mom sitting on it

What?

"I'm worried"

Why was she talking about?

"I couldn't understand anything. She was okay"

She?

"Slight signs? I hav...have never noticed. Oh God" she stuttered shocked

Was she talking about me? No way. Who was he talking to?

"I don't know. I don't want to do that"

What does she mean by that?

"No, she isn't like her father. This time I will be here for her and I will help her. I swear I will be by her side" she cried out and I wanted to open the door but I stayed where I was

"I know I should have known. He was bipolar so it was very possible for her to be too" she sighed

Bipolar? What is she even saying? Was my dad.... I was frustrated and angry

"I know, I know genetics" she murmured and that was the last thing I heard becauseI left there, took my slippers in my hand and ran to my room. When I got inside I closed the door and threw the slippers away in frustration. I can't yell. I can't fucking yell

I went down the door in shock as they do in so many movies when something unexpected happens to them. Maybe that was just a bad dream. A fucking nightmare

"No she is wrong" I repeated to myself quietly while slightly panicking

"She is wrong" I finally yelled and put my hand over my mouth immediately. I didn't hear anything. Lucky me

I turned toward my desk where my computer was. I stood up and went there. I took it in my hands hesitatingly not being sure if I wanted to do that. I finally took a deep breath and sat in my bed turning it on

I waited a few seconds and when it finally opened I immediately got on Google. I stayed looking at it. I knew if I was typing the following words, everything could change in my life but I'm risking it

If my mom doesn't tell me the truth, I'll find it on my own

I started typing and now there was no turning back for me

Bipolar disorder

I clicked Search

Here we go

I hope you liked it

Leave comments so I know what you liked and what you didn't.❤️

Goodbye!