dancing with our hands tied | r. targaryen

vi.

110 A.C.
KING'S LANDING
•••

THE FUNERAL FOR QUEEN AEMMA AND PRINCE BAELON CAME DAYS LATER.

Alayne hadn't been dressed in black since the death of her mother and though she had smiled and laughed with Rhaenyra while they sat with Baelon in the nursery, she had not done either since. She truthfully had not done much of anything. She sat in her room staring up at the canopy. She could not sleep for she dreamt of death. Her mother's, the queen's, Baelon's, and most recently, her own.

With the loss of the queen, Alayne Hightower felt she no longer had a purpose. No longer did she need to wake before dawn to read in the Godswood. No more was she late to her duties. No more was she much of anything.

Duty had willed Alayne out of bed and into a black dress, but that was only as far as it got her.

"Alayne," she heard her sister softly call out to her, "Please open the door."

Alayne hadn't spoken to Alicent since the queen's passing. She wondered if her sister knew what she saw. The horrors she witnessed. The fact that she'd held a dying baby in her arms and watched as he took his last breath. She wondered how Alicent felt sitting at their own mother's bedside as she breathed her last breath. How did she recover from witnessing such a thing?

"Alayne, we're all worried for you," Alicent speaks, "It's been days since you last had a meal. At least come out and eat something."

Alayne ignored her sister's pleas as she stared up at the canopy of her bed. Even if she did want to get out of bed Alayne wasn't sure she recalled how.

Alicent had decided to stop her pleas and she opened the door. Alayne's attention did not shift from the top of her bed as Alicent closed the door behind her. Alayne looked over at Alicent as she made her way toward her bedside.

"Hello," Alicent says as she looks at her younger sister. Alayne doesn't say anything as she looks back up at the canopy. Alicent stares at Alayne before climbing over her and laying down beside her younger sister.

"We can lay here," Alicent says as she looks over at her sister, "However long you need to." 

Alayne looks over at Alicent and her brows knit together as she fights back an onslaught of tears. She looks back up at the canopy and nods her head. The sisters lay there, their shoulders barely touching. Alayne reaches out and finds her sister's hand and Alicent looks down, before lacing their fingers together.

"I'm scared," Alayne speaks, her voice rough from not speaking in days. Alicent looks over at her and Alayne swallows as she explains, "When mother died I still had my duty to Queen Aemma. But who am I without duty?"

"You're Alayne Hightower," Alicent tells her sister, "You weren't going to serve Her Grace forever. Someday you were going to have to figure out who you were without your service to her."

"I know," Alayne answers softly, "It's just – it's like –"

"It's like losing mother for the second time?" Alicent finishes and Alayne nods her head as she looks at her sister.

"She filled the void mother left behind," Alayne says, "And now I feel as though I am wandering through the night without a guide."

"This is the point where you become your own guide," Alicent tells her sister, "You must figure out who you want and what you want. Pave your own way."

"Is that what you are doing?" Alayne asks.

"I am trying," Alicent says with a sigh.

"I suppose that is all we can do," Alayne states, "Try."