𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 || 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

Zhongli [-] Discard it

Zhongli x GN Reader
Requested by: Oshaia  (from a while ago LMFAO but I'm tryna finish requests)
(Short lil angst thing bc it crossed my mind)

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"What ails you, Morax?"

His name falling from your lips could've cursed him. With thousands of years of life under his name, he never felt so conflicted. So lost, and distant. His name was only two syllables and yet, it echoed within his head creating a deep chaotic tune.

"You. You ail me."

Now his words stung. The electricity buzzing on top of your skin could rival even Inazuma in your state. "Why?"

"I'm a man of many forms. Many names. Many lives." He started to explain, his voice low but punctual. Standing on top of the floating structure in the sky with him allowed his voice to be carried with the wind. Calls of birds, and roars from down below.

"So why does my presence trouble you?"

"Not your presence." He sighed "Your warm smile. Lovely intoxicating personality. Your strength and desires." He stared out at the clouds, not daring to look in your direction. "They afflict me with the most pain."

It was beginning to hurt. You were so sure that he was the one. That Zhongli was the one who would never and could never disappoint you.

All of the time you spent together made you positive that this was the man to take you far from your life. Be an escape for any worries, any unwanted thoughts and actions. All the karma placed upon your very being.

"Was it all for nothing?" You questioned.

"Not for nothing." He tried to reason. "For the experience of learning."

"Learning?" You had to laugh at what he was saying. "You're telling me, our relationship was just a learning experience?"

"Relationship is a heavy word." Zhongli shook his head. "It's tied with many things. Many emotions." He clenched his fist tightly, "and that is why I chose to not use it with you."

"Morax." There was that voice again. Scratching the inside of his brain. "You are a warrior. The god the people look up to. Everyone has moved on from your alleged death because you guided them for years."

"That is not–"

You took a step closer and his voice immediately stopped. "You're a wise man, that's for sure. But Archons...you are an impenetrable fortress. Your emotions are impossible to read. One moment you're in my home, telling me sweet nothings. While your hands dance around my body like I'm delicate jade you do not want to fracture."

He shut his eyes and tried to keep his mind blank. "I did not mean to indulge you."

But you completely ignored him. "How can you come back to me and tell me it was all for an escapade?! You must know how fragile the mortal heart can be. You yourself speak of this many times over! So please..." By now you were standing right behind him. "...Please explain. How can you toy with it?!"

The silence that washed over the both of you was so loud in your ears. His unresponsiveness only saddened you more. The stillness of his body and hair swaying in the wind. If your ear was trained for it, you'd be able to hear the waterfall from down below. The illusion of the sound was there though. Anything to make up for the empty void of sound.

"Please, you must understand I would never purposely hurt you."

"But you did."

He sighed, "yes, that is clear to me now."

"So then take it back." You reached for him but your hand failed just before you were able to latch on. "Say you jest."

"I do not." He was very firm with his answer. "I am sincere when I tell you that I'm sorry. For taking you by the hand on countless nights and leading you astray." He looked down directly below the platform. "However, I can not retract my wrongdoings."

"But you can." You were starting to become desperate. Desperate so you wouldn't have to feel the stake in your heart any longer. "I'll give my soul to be with you. Change in whatever ways you desire just please... Please don't walk out of my picture."

"Y/N, do not strain yourself anymore."

"I love you, Zhongli."

He froze and let his shame run over his being. "You do not."

You grabbed onto his hand, "I'm an adult. I know where to put my love and where to discard it."

"Then discard it."

"Stop that!" You turned his body around and made sure to make direct eye contact with his piercing golden gaze. "I cannot simply trash my feelings when you were the main one to build them up! Now you dare to stand in front of me and burn them to the ground!"

"I need you to breathe for me, Y/N." He waited until you had somewhat calmed down from the outburst. He held your shaking figure at a distance. Terrified he would get too close again. "I despise the fact that even now, I would still reach for you again. But I'm not one to break my self control very easily. I'm not somebody you can love."

"But I do."

"But I can't." It sounded like he could barely get the words out of his mouth. "And I refuse to have you hurt over a man like myself. You deserve someone to treat you with utmost care and respect. I have failed at that for my own selfishness." He removed his hands from your shoulders. "Our stories have two different endings. Yours is without me. Go out and live your life with the other mortals in Teyvat. Find true happiness, I beg."

It was only after he said that did you realize you were crying. "No matter who else I may fall for. Zhongli is the name that'll be carved into my heart. Even after I die, and you still stand with your head held shamefully high. With whatever form or name you take on next, I pray you do not forget me. As silly and selfish as it is."

"Do not shed tears for me. You will have to wipe them on your own from here on out." He did not reach his hand out.

So you wiped them yourself.

"Promise me you'll never lay your hand of falseness upon another."

"I swear by it."

"Do you really?"

He paused. "My hand only knows war and protection of Liyue. My godlike feats will still cascade over me and the contract I am bound to. But I see now in front of me, why that may be." He shut his eyes tightly. "Mortality and immortality should never cross. Or the hearts will be caught in the crossfire of betrayal."

You gave him a weak smile. "I love you."

He did not respond.