Margaret Allie Brandon (Jasper's Mate Story)

Chapter 45

(Dec 18th)
Jasper's POV:

Margaret had been in and out of consciousness most of yesterday, and I knew that her body would need much more time to recover. I only wish I could do more for her as seeing her broken body asleep but not really resting was breaking me. I knocked on the door a little past lunch and heard her heartbeat increase just as Rose told me to come in. I walked in slowly stopping a good distance away from the chair that Margaret was sitting curled up in by the window. Rose stood from her chair across from Margaret before looking between us.

"Will you be alright with just Jasper for a few moments Margaret? I need to get a few things from my room." (Rose)

I watched as Margaret tensed and I felt the tremendous amount of fear, shame, and pain come off her in waves but she nodded a bit as Rose quietly left us alone in my room. I slowly walked over and took the chair across from her, her eyes watching my every move like a wounded animal watches the hunter approach.

"That chair is the comfiest chair when it comes to reading if you want to borrow any of the books. There are more than enough to help keep your mind busy though I'm afraid they may bore you some. I wasn't kidding that day I said I was a history nerd, most of my books are all historical books." (Jas)

I saw a look of confusion cross over her face, not expecting that to be what I said. Though I can't blame her I wasn't expecting to say that either. I was just trying to avoid talking about the weather or worse what happened to her. It was all I could do not to hunt that bastard down and rip his limbs off before killing him, and taking her in my arms and holding her against my chest to remind me that she's safe here. I saw her glance around the room again before looking back to me.

"Is this.......is this your room?" (Mag)

"Yeah, it was the closest to Esme and Carlisle's just in case you needed something. I hope that's alright." (Jas)

"I don't.......I don't want to put you out of your own room Jasper." (Mag)

"I don't mind Margaret. I'm bunking with Edward like we did when we were younger. If puts you more at ease just consider it a small part of your birthday gift." (Jas)

"I had almost forgot my birthday." (Mag)

"Think nothing of staying in here, I would give up anything for you Margaret." (Jas)

I watched her nod before glancing around the room again before she looked back to me. She went to say something but the words never came as a few tears sprang to her eyes instead. She looked away from me and out the window with the rain falling softly outside on the winter grass, before she looked back at me with an almost broken smile on her face. A short dead sounding laugh left her mouth before it turned into a half sob as she pulled her knees into her chest closer and looked at me.

"Are you alright Margaret? I can get Rose or Esme or Alice in here." (Jas)

"I was so close to making it......so close to being free......I just had to last until my birthday.....yesterday.....I would have been free yesterday having made it to 18.....but my luck ran out a few days early as it always seems to do." (Mag)

"We don't have to talk about it right now Margaret. We never have to talk about if you don't want to." (Jas)

"I'm sorry........about last night when I woke up........and when y'all came and got me........I didn't see you as you......I saw you as..............I'm sorry I know you're nothing like that....I just couldn't.....I'm sorry." (Mag)

"Margaret, after what that bastard did.......you have nothing, nothing to ever be sorry about. Please never apologize for anything like that again." (Jas)

"I'm.......I always thought I'd be free when I turned 18.........I'm free now......but not really......now I don't think I'll ever be free. I want so badly......so badly for you to take me into your arms like you've done before......I want you to hold me and tell me everything will be alright.......but I also don't want anyone touching me........I'm so sorry." (Mag)

I saw her look at me with tears ready to fall from her eyes as before looking away from me. She kept her arms wrapped around her knees tightly as quiet sobs began to leave her mouth. I stood to comfort her, but watched as she flinched at my movement. I felt another wave of shame, guilt, and pain radiate off her before her sobs grew in volume.

"It's not fair.....I love you and want you to hold me....I want to touch you and know I'm not dreaming and still back there about to wake up.........I just don't want to be touched because all I can feel are his hands......and I..........I'm sorry Jasper." (Mag)

I watched as she buried her head into her arms as she stayed curled up in a ball on the chair. I sent as much calm and peace and love as I could towards her, for all the good it did, before I whispered for Rose to come back in. As soon as the door opened Margaret's eyes shot up like a startled deer, but I felt the smallest resemblance of peace leave her body when she saw who it was. She looked at me one more time I saw her hand twitch out towards me, as if to reach for me before she flinched backward into the chair. 

"I'll let you rest Margaret. I love you." (J)

I saw her try to say something, but was unable to and instead had another sob leave her body. I could wait to hear those precious words from her again though, even if it meant waiting a 1000 more years. I could wait.