Margaret Allie Brandon (Jasper's Mate Story)

Chapter 58

Margaret's POV: (January 8th)

School was starting up again tomorrow, the winter break having passed by quicker than anyone could have realized. New Year's had come and gone, and I had gotten used to the Cullen's all over again as they were free from hiding from me in a sense. I still jumped some when one seemed to just suddenly appear in a room with me with their speed, but I was getting a bit better at it. My physical wounds from before were nearly all healed, only a few scars remained. The emotional wounds would take much longer, as Momma Esme and Rosalie reminded me a few times in the last few days. 

I knew that not having to return to school would help, as it was ever really a second hell I was stuck in. Except of course for art class, but I had more time to draw here than I ever had before. I was being allowed to finish my education online though, thanks to Carlisle's recommendations as my 'doctor'. Jasper offered to stay as well but after both mine and Momma Esme's insistence that it would look odd for both of to stop going after it was already rumored in the school how we were dating he agreed to go back to school. 

The only thing that he hadn't done that I wanted was show me what he looked like in the sun. They had described it to me, but I couldn't make sense of it, they made it sound like they were walking disco balls in the sun and I just couldn't really see it in my mind. The sun was supposed to be out later this afternoon and I was hoping to ask him again. But right now Jasper was out hunting with most of the family, with the exception of Edward and Alice. Alice was preparing everyone's outfits for tomorrow, something she apparently did every day for school. While Edward was in the music room playing on the piano.

It wasn't but an hour after the rainstorm passed, leaving only a light drizzle falling outside that I found myself standing outside the music room. I had walked over here blindly, following the music, a sense of peace seeming to fill me rather than the constant pain and fear that I seemed doomed to live with when not with Jasper, or more specifically in Jasper's arms. I was debating going in and sitting on the small couch on the other end of the room when he turned to look at me, his fingers never missing a key as he continued to play.

"You can come in, I won't mind Margaret." (Ed)

I was surprised that he seemed to know why I was hesitating in the doorway but gave a small smile in thanks as I walked to the couch in the room and sat down. I was still a bit tense with him, though I wasn't sure why. He had never shown anything but kindness towards me, but there was always this sense that he knew more than he expressed. I was broken away from my thoughts and the music that was playing in the background of them from a slight chuckle from Edward.

"I suppose I should confess Margaret, as I should have done days ago. I'm one of the 'gifted' family members you could say. I can hear people's thoughts. Unfortunately all the time." (Ed)

I froze on my seat on the couch as he said that, realizing that he definitely knew more than he appeared to. He knew everything I had ever thought in his presence. He met my eyes and I saw the pity in his eyes and even a bit of anger, but I somehow knew it wasn't directed at me. I felt tears start to form in my eyes but I didn't let them fall.

"I'm....I.....I don't even know how to apologize for what you've had to hear from my mind Edward. Could you ever forgive me?" (Mag)

"Forgive you? That's hardly necessary Margaret. If it puts you at ease I will, but it's not needed. You have nothing to ask forgiveness for, besides if you could only see how much happier Jasper's thoughts are since he met you, you'd realize you've brought me and especially him more happiness than sorrow." (Ed)

"He...he thinks about me a lot then?" (Mag)

"Every day for hours, the mate bond pulls his thoughts to you whenever his mind isn't focused on something else." (Ed)

"Mate bond?" (Mag)

I watched as a look of surprise then worry passed over his face as he stared at me for a moment longer before he looked down at the keys that he was still playing with perfection. I didn't know what he was talking about yet, though I knew it must be a vampire thing of some sort one that Jasper had yet to mention. I could only guess at what he meant right now, unless he wanted to illustrate further.

"You'll have to ask Jasper more about it, though I'm sure he won't be pleased with me slipping up and telling you." (Ed)

"I'll be sure to tell him I was the one that forced you to talk about it at all then." (Mags)

"You're very kind Margaret, but don't worry too much. Worse he'll do is probably through me into a few trees." (Ed)

I felt my face wince a bit at the thought even as he chuckled a bit, the song he was playing changing into the one I knew he had written for Esme. Edward and Carlisle were the only ones left in the family I had yet to dream about but I knew, deep down, that as I grew to trust them more each day that the dreams were coming. I saw Edward look at me again in concern and I realized I should try to monitor my thoughts more closely to avoid upsetting him.

"It doesn't upset me Margaret, just worries me. Your dreams worry all of us because as you know the change in incredibly painful and it's amazing for you to have endured it so much already let alone have to potentially undergo it twice more." (Ed)

"It's alright, when I know what to expect like the fire burning feeling, it can sometimes lessen the length of the dream, like fast forwarding a video. The pain remains the same level but is over quicker, at least that is what I've found out recently." (Mags)

"Would knowing the exact way I died beforehand be helpful?" (Ed)

"Honestly, I don't know. Maybe. I've never had the chance to ask someone how they died to test that theory." (Mags)

"Ah, yes good point I suppose." (Ed)

"Was it.....was a bad death?" (Mags)

"Depends on what you're comparing it to I suppose. I was dying of the Spanish Influenza when Carlisle changed me. It was difficult to breathe, and I was already burning up in human standards with a high temperature, chills, body aches, and then of course the painful change itself."

"I'm sorry. I wish......well no that's not true." (Mags) 

"No, it's not. I used to wish the same thing though, that it had never happened. But then.....then I met Alice and she made spending eternity as a monster more than bareable." (Ed)

"You're not monsters. Trust me. I know. I lived with a real monster for the last ten years. Nothing any of you could ever do would match him." (Mags)

I was prepared to argue and fight him on this for the rest of my life because it was true. They could have murdered a hundred people but it wouldn't have been entirely by choice. Everything he did was by choice, he chose to be a monster. The Cullen's never have. 

"I'm happy that Jasper has found you, and if all of us can ever believe that even a third as strongly as you do you right now it will improve all our lives." (Ed)

I smiled back at him as I leaned back onto the couch, relaxing into the soft cushions as the song he was playing changed again. It was a new tune that felt light and airy, but with underlying notes that almost made me think of a thunderstorm. It felt.......it felt like me. 

"I wrote this one for you, I've named it Spring Storm." (Ed)

"Thank you, it's beautiful." (Mags) 

I let my eyes close as the notes floated through my mind, conjuring up images of a green forest floor covered in daffodils in spring with a thunderstorm looming overhead. I let my mind drift further into the daydream and soon found myself laughing and running through the grass with Jasper chasing after me. I wasn't sure if I was still daydreaming or dreaming, but I didn't try to open my eyes to find out. I just let myself enjoy this wonderful dream that Edward's music had helped provide as I waited for Jasper to come back home.