Just One Day [Taekook]

27) Frozen Heart

Taehyung was lost in his thoughts throughout the dinner and Jungkook thought not to disturb him. He knew there was something that was bothering Taehyung and he also knew that Taehyung would tell him when he was ready, so he didn't pry into it and ate his dinner quietly. After dinner, Taehyung left for his room while Jungkook cleared away all the dishes and helped Eunie get ready for bedtime.

He expected Taehyung to come and read Eunie her bedtime story as usual, but Taehyung didn't show up, so Jungkook read to her. He kept glancing at the door, hoping Taehyung would walk in anytime, but that didn't happen. Jungkook stopped reading when he heard faint snores coming from Eunie, indicating that she was fast asleep. He quietly got out of bed, giving her a peck and left the room after turning off the lights.

Jungkook paused outside Taehyung's room, hesitating whether to knock or not, but in the end he decided not to and went downstairs to get himself a cup of jasmine tea, since sleep was the last thing on his mind right now.

Taehyung had been standing at his balcony looking at the moonless sky trying to calm his mind. He knew his silence and ignorance was hurting Jungkook, but he couldn't bring himself to talk about what he was feeling. There were still so many doubts and so many negative thoughts in his brain, that he was drowning in those. After talking to Hobi, he was sure of his feelings for Jungkook, but he was afraid of the consequences of pursuing those feelings and no matter how much he tried, he couldn't get rid of this unknown fear in his heart.

'What should I do, EunBi? Couple of months back I asked you this same question standing in this very same spot. But I never got an answer. But that time I wanted to move on for the sake of our princess, but now I want to do it for me. Am I wrong to want happiness and love for myself? Will you hate me if I said that I am falling for someone else and that person is making a place for himself in my heart where it should only be you? I'm lost, EunBi. And I'm terrified to open my heart again. Because I don't think I can go through another heartbreak. It'll kill me. Please tell me what to do, EunBi. Please.'

Taehyung stayed out in the cold for some more time, before making his way inside. He knew he was being a coward, but he couldn't help it. Loving someone can be the most beautiful feeling on this earth, but losing that someone could be your death. Not only you lose a part of you, but you also lose your will to live and Taehyung had already gone through that nightmare once and it took him everything he had to pull himself out of that nightmare and to start living barely, if you could call what he had been doing for the past two years living. And that's why it terrifies him to open his heart again, because unlike people who see love as rainbows and roses, he sees it as the dark sky before a storm or the thorns that comes with a beautiful flower.

He went out of his room to check on Eunie, who was already fast asleep. "I'm sorry I didn't come to tuck you in, princess. Please forgive your Appa." he said, placing a kiss on her forehead. He came out of his daughter's room, his steps taking him to Jungkook's room. He halted outside his room, hands raised to knock on the door, but he stopped himself.

"I'm sorry, Bunny. I know I'm being a coward, but I can't help it. If I talk to you, I don't think I'll be able to keep my emotions in check. I want to get rid of this fear and I want to be strong enough to open my heart once again. I hope you wait for me, Bunny and won't give up on me.' Taehyung stood outside the room for some more time, before leaving from there.

Jungkook had seen Taehyung's shadow from under his door. He kept waiting, thinking that Taehyung would knock on his door, but that never happened. Instead, he watched the shadow of his move away from his doorstep and he sighed in sadness. For a minute, he thought of going after him and talking to him, but then he remembered how Taehyung had been avoiding him for the past two days and decided to give him space.