BE THE CHANGE // BUCKY BARNES X OC

FOUR

"LEXY!"

I nearly screamed at the sudden sound of Jason's voice from the hallway as he pounded on my door. My heart was racing, fear gripping me at the fact that he'd found me-I'd been so careful yet he'd found me.

Bucky moved carefully around me, not speaking. I think he was trying not to scare me even further but also more than likely so Jason didn'thear voices. He looked through the peep-hole, his hand up behind him, as if I'd move closer right now.

I wanted to curl up in that moment, into a tiny ball and hide in some dark hovel and disappear. All the training, all the pep talks I gave myself went flying out the window with how Jason was behaving and what made it worse, I was angry at myself for not being more careful and for crumbling so quickly.

We stayed like that until I couldn't hear banging or yelling but I dared not move or breathe even after Bucky turned back around. It wasn't until he cleared his throat that I snapped back into myself and looked up at him. "Showers through there." He said quietly, pointing to the room behind me.

I slowly made my way through to the bathroom-mindlessly grabbing a change of clothes as I went. My body wanted to break and I was struggling keeping it together as I dressed myself, the towel was in my hands as I dried my hair-walking back out to Bucky's living room.

He motioned to the couch as he came out of the kitchen with two mugs and I dropped to it, taking the mug he offered me as he sat beside me. He just watched me silently as I drank the tea he'd made. I felt better but not by much-I still felt like I was wound too tight and I would snap.

"Lexy, you're safe," He said quietly and I slowly put my cup down, watching him mirror my actions. I knew he meant let it out, I could feel it, the strain on my body as I was trying to hold myself together. I shook my head, I didn't want to cry anymore, I didn't want to be that scared girl anymore. But the harder I fought it, the harder my hold on it became.

My head dropped as I fought, fought the fear, fought the tears but it all came undone the moment he touched my back. It snapped inside me, that wall I'd put up to keep it all away-it came crumbling down like a damn bursting open and my fingers tore at my hair as I held my head. Tears pouring from my eyes as I gasped and sobbed.

I felt him pull me to him, his arms wrapping around me, encasing me in his warmth as I broke down. "I got you. You're safe, you're safe." He repeated those words quietly as he gently rubbed my back.

I couldn't speak, let alone see as I crumpled-like a sandcastle during high tide as the ocean swept it away. So I just held his arm tightly, my only anchor to reality as I cried, letting it erupt out of me, gripping him so I wouldn't wash away too.

☆☆☆☆☆

A door banging woke me, my body jolting awake and my eyes darted around as I panicked. "Hey, hey it's ok." That soothing voice pulled me back and I turned to my left. Bucky was sitting quietly on the edge of the bed, his bed. I was in his room, in his bed. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them as I looked at him.

"I'm sorry," I was, I was sorry he had to come in and save me, again. Sorry that I'd broken down like that and fallen asleep on him again. He sighed and his brows relaxed. "Stay here tonight." I sat up straight. "What?" He smiled slightly at my scrunched up face.

Before I could question any further he got up and made for the living room and panic set in again. I jumped up and he turned, hearing my feet hit the floor. He must have seen the look on my face because he came right up to me, grabbing my shoulders gently. "No one will touch you while I'm here."

The way he said it-the seriousness in his eyes as he said it, I believed him, gosh did I trust him when he said it. But that didn't change the fear I had the moment he went to walk away and I think he understood that. "It's ok...I'll stay." I didn't know I'd been holding my breath until he said that and I exhaled deeply.