BE THE CHANGE // BUCKY BARNES X OC

SIXTEEN

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

I will have hopefully 2 more chapters up before new years.
Enjoy :)

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Bucky slept most of the flight home. I couldn't blame him either, I was actually jealous he had because I struggled, cat napping for 15 minutes before I jolted awake. I'd taken the window seat, needing the view to keep me from feeling caged in though I'd have preferred to fly home with my wings.

I rolled my head, smiling softly at him, feeling his fingers gently brush up against my thigh before he twitched, and I grabbed his hand, squeezing it softly. "It's ok. I got you." I whispered to him, watching his face soften, as his eyes opened and landed on me. "Just me." I smiled warmly.

He stretched out, grunting quietly before he squeezed my hand back. "You haven't slept." He said simply and I turned back to the window, watching the clouds float by. "I can't." I whispered, biting my lip.

I couldn't, not really. Every time I did I'd have nightmares. Finding him and Sam dead, in horrific ways. Dying myself. Being caught and tortured. Every time I closed my eyes I was back in that cage, looking at my 2 best friends, bruised and broken. Would I ever sleep again?

We began our descent and I sighed deeply. "We'll be home soon." I said softly and Bucky squeezed my hand again, before I felt him lift it and kiss my knuckles softly. I moved slightly, dropping my head to his shoulder. "Drinks and movies?" He asked quietly and I nodded softly. Yes, now that I could do.

The cab ride home was quiet. Both of us exhausted and lost in our mini hells inside our heads. It wasn't until we were both sitting on the couch, the smell of the cedar woods and bourbon filling my nose, that the weight lifted from my chest. Home. We were home and we were safe.

I was 3 drinks in when Bucky frowned slightly at me. "Lexy. Are you ok?" I nearly broke the glass in my hand and put it down before I did, feeling the anxiety boil up again. "You both, nearly died Bucky." I said dryly, pulling my legs up to my chest as he moved closer. "We did. I won't sugar coat it."

"But you found us, you saved us. Lex, what you did. How you did it." He stared off as his voice dropped and I tilted my head slightly. "I am not ok." I confessed quietly and he turned to me. "And I won't be, until you tell me what they did to you. I haven't wanted to ask, fuck I don't even think I have the energy to handle it."

He stared at me, shocked and anxious. "And you probably don't want to talk about it. But I need to know. I can't get it out of my head, what they- how I found you. I- I." My voice broke as I felt my chest tighten, my vision tunnel as the panic set in.

Bucky grabbed my face. "Look at me. Lex breathe. Breathe." He soothed me, his thumbs brushing against my cheeks and I followed him, inhaling deeply before I exhaled deeply and after 20 repetitions of that, I felt a bit better, smiling crookedly my thanks to him.

"What they did to me." He pulled me closer and we laid down together, his right arm holding around my waist as I played with his left hand, needing to keep my anxiety away. "I've been through worse Lexy. Even when they tried to remove my arm. Even when they repeated those words to me, trying to trigger me into him."

I link my fingers with his, and looked up at him, seeing his brows drawn together but he looked down at me and smiled weakly. "They knew they couldn't break me...until they started on Sam. Hearing and seeing, mmmmm." I squeezed his hand tightly. So it was Sam, they'd nearly broken him with hurting Sam.

"That frustrates you, doesn't it? That Sam has become so important in your life." I asked quietly. He chuckled slightly and hugged me tighter. "We both have and I know it drives him mad too. But he's one of the very few people I care that deeply for." I smiled softly, hearing him admit he cared for Sam, actually cared for him.