PULL MY HEARTSTRINGS (COMPLETE)

15

                             

A haunting dream startled Anesu into a sitting position as a cold sweat arrested his muscular form. He quickly scanned the dimly lit room and was relieved to see he was in his bedroom. It wasn’t the first time he had the dream it started after he learned Tinashe was missing and always took place in a dark and smelly room, and the chilling whispers freaked him out the first time, more than the smell did. The second time he had the dream there was a figure curled up on the floor and no matter how hard he tried, he could never get close enough to see who it was and that torture continued for days.
     
Today the rancid smell was more pungent, suffocating his nostrils and he was sure it would stay there for days, leave an awful taste in his mouth and pollute everything he ate. The closer he got to the ominous figure the stronger the smell became and he almost turned back, until he realized he’d never gotten this close before without something pulling him back.

He was stunned to see Tinashe laying there like he was sleeping and all Anesu needed to do was shake him awake, he was beautiful with his half smile and there were no maggots or rotting skin despite the smell of death emanating from his cold body. The unnerving image held Anesu prisoner in his own body and his screams became a silent echo of misery. 
     
“Find your brother before it’s too late, Anesu.”
     
The whispers grew louder and transformed into his father’s commanding voice, repeating the same thing over and over again. He slightly shook his head, ridding himself of the tormenting memory. 
     
Where are you, Tinashe? He wondered as he got out of bed and searched for a clean t-shirt in the closet.
     
“Where are you going?” asked Kgomotso, turning to face him. She was gorgeous even in her sleepy state, his very own Aphrodite the goddess of beauty.
     
“Nowhere. Go back to sleep.”
     
“No, come back to bed, Anesu.” She pleaded.
     
“I can’t sleep.”
     
“Okay.” She also got out of bed and put on her silk gown and followed Anesu down the passage, looming with nocturnal shadows. They made it downstairs in silence and he switched on the lights and poured a glass of whiskey, finishing it in one gulp.
     
“What’s wrong?” she asked, stopping him from pouring another round.
     
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
     
“You said the same thing when I asked about your scar.”
     
He sighed, stepping away from her. “Please, Kgomotso…I can’t do this right now.”
     
“Then when? You wanted us to be together but yet you push me away when I try to get close to you.”
     
What was he hiding?
     
“Oh, so this isn’t what you want?”
     
“Don’t turn this on me.” She poked his taunt chest with her manicured finger. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be with you, but I won’t stay if you keep shutting me out.”
     
“You said you’ll never leave me,” he said with a hint of fear in his eyes.
     
He knew, holding this over Kgomotso’s head was unfair because he simply couldn’t move on from the pain Jessica inflicted when she left a dagger lodged in his heart.
     
She touched his cheek in a tender caress. “I asked for honesty.”
     
He closed his eyes as if in agony and placed his forehead on hers. “I’m sorry.”
     
“Is it about your brother?”
     
He nodded, too overwhelmed by the lump in his throat to speak.
     
“Okay. Come.” She pulled him into the kitchen and made him sit on one of the high chairs, he was mesmerised with her ways as he watched her brush a strand of hair behind her ear.
     
“What are you doing?” Anesu asked when she opened the fridge.
     
“I’m baking a cake.”
     
He frowned, watching her place the ingredients on the counter. “You have to go to work in a few hours, why are you baking a cake?”
     
“Because I can’t go back to sleep and leave you here alone when you’re not okay.”
     
“I’ll be fine, Kgomotso.”
     
“No, I’m staying with you. Now, please, crack those eggs open and separate the yolk from the egg white.”
     
He scratched the back of his head and smiled sheepishly. “How do I do that?”
     
She laughed and cracked an egg open after tapping it on the edge of the bowl, and began separating the egg white from the yolk. He watched attentively already intimidated by how easy she made it look. His hands were too big to handle such a fragile thing with that much delicacy.
     
“Do you think you can handle it?”
     
He didn’t miss her challenging undertone and he wasn’t one to back away from a challenge.
     
“Ja, I can do it.” He proclaimed with his chest puffed out.
     
He cracked the first one too hard and big pieces of the shell fell into the bowl, the second and third one suffered the same fate even though he tried to be gentle.
     
“Damn it!” He grumbled when he failed to succeed with his fourth attempt and knocked the bowl off the counter, smashing it against the wall.
      
“Anesu!” She cried out, startled by the breaking glass.
     
“This is useless, I can’t do it just like I couldn’t protect my brother from himself.”
     
“What do you mean?”
     
He remained silent as she stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist in a tight squeeze. Seconds and even minutes passed by as they continued to wallow in the agonizing silence, with her arms still wrapped around his waist but he made no attempt to hold or talk to her. She didn’t know this side of him and it scared her because she didn’t know how deep-rooted his issues with his brother were.
     
“Talk to me please, Anesu.”
     
Relief washed over her when she felt his arms around her and the floodgates opened and she succumbed to the unexpected tears.
     
Whoa, why was she even crying?
     
She had no clue what sparked her emotional meltdown but she couldn’t seem to stop it, he tightened his embrace and she relaxed in the comfort of his arms.
     
“I’m sorry.”
     
“It’s okay, I don’t even know why I’m crying.” Kgomotso raised her head from his chest and managed a faint smile through her tears.
     
“I don’t want this shit with, Tinashe to come between us.”
     
“How bad is it?” she asked.
     
He sighed and seemed uncertain of what to say next. “He’s an alcoholic and can’t seem to stay sober long enough to get his life together.”
     
“Is he in rehab?”
     
He threw his head back and laughed a humourless laugh which sent a chilling sensation down her spine.
     
“No, he recently checked himself out and fed me a whole bunch of lies before he disappeared to God knows where and has probably been drunk out of his mind since the last time I saw him. I love my brother but I don’t think I can do this anymore, the lies, the heartbreak and the endless disappointment. I’ve had enough.”
     
“You can’t give up on your brother.”
     
“I don’t want to, but I may not have a choice. I’ve always put his needs before my own since his addiction started, I tried showing him in every way that he has my support but all he does is throw all that back in my face.”
     
“Have you ever told him how you really feel? Because you’ll end up resenting him for all the things left unsaid.”
     
He shook his head. “How can I? When this isn’t even his fault, I’m sure he’d stop if he could.”
     
“But that doesn’t mean your feelings are invalid, the things he does hurt you even though he doesn’t do it intentionally. He may not receive what you have to say but it’s important to do it.”
     
“Okay.”
     
“Do you know where he is right now?”
     
“No. The PI I hired hasn’t found anything concrete yet.”
     
“You need to find your brother before it’s too late, Anesu.”
     
A fleeting moment of terror shone in his eyes as he tightened his hold over her in a rigid movement. Those were his father’s words.
     
Kgomotso frowned, looking at him. “What’s wrong?”
     
“Nothing. I’ll find him.”
     
“Okay, let’s clean-up we still have a cake to bake and you can make coffee, I don’t want you breaking anymore eggs.”
     
His thick eyebrows rose in shock. “Coffee at this hour?”
     
“Yes, and we’ll binge watch episodes of How to Get Away with Murder when I’m finished.”
     
He laughed, clutching his stomach the corners of his eyes were crinkled and he looked so handsome, carefree and young.
     
“Are you a vampire?” he asked, smiling.
     
“I assure you I am not.”                  
     
His smile widened and he pulled her closer to him again. “Don’t worry, baby. I’d still love you even if you were one.”
     
Did he just say LOVE or was she hallucinating?
     
He kissed her and she unravelled at the gentle touch of his intoxicating lips and wrapped her arms around his neck, and he pressed their bodies together. His erection beckoned the quiet storm brewing inside her and she lost herself in the tantalizing sensations. He pulled back, his forehead touching hers and the feel of his warm breath against her skin was arousing. 
     
“You are such a charmer.” She managed to say once her heart returned to its normal beat. “Coffee now, please.”
     
“Yes, ma’am.”
     
He walked over to the coffee machine and switched it on.
                                                               **********