PULL MY HEARTSTRINGS (COMPLETE)

54

                             

     

He was waiting out on the veranda when Kgomotso arrived and wasted no time opening the gate for her, and locked it after she drove in. It wasn’t even 19:00 yet, he did the same thing during her high school years and she had to be home before the gate was locked.
     
She was exhausted and hungry, which wasn’t a surprise because those two things became dominant as her pregnancy progressed and her weight gain was progressing faster.
     
He was already waiting by the door to help carry her bags inside, being home wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be. Talking to her father seemed to have put his mind at ease because he was already taking his grandfather duties seriously, treating her like a Fabergé egg that would break if she carried anything heavier than a feather. He was worse than Anesu.
     
“Hawu, papa, you don’t have to open the gate for me every day,” she said, getting out of the car.
     
“I don’t want you to over exert yourself.”
     
“I should’ve gotten pregnant sooner if I’d known you’d pamper me like this.”
     
The mood got tense in a heartbeat as he looked at Kgomotso long enough to make her squirm. Being a teacher for so many years equipped him with the skill of expressing disappointment without using words.
     
If she could take back her poorly made joke she would just to erase that look from his face.
     
“Now you’re pushing it because if that had happened you’d be raising that child alone because that wanna be thug left you and is now in prison.”
     
Eish, she didn’t think about that but then again she was financially stable to raise a child alone and women have been single mothers since the era of Christ, she wouldn’t be the first or the last one.
     
“Would I be a disappointment to you if I became a single mother?”
     
She had to know because he brought up the subject every chance he got, making it seem like she’d fail if life dealt her those cards.
     
“No I would never think that of you. Your grandmother was a single mother and so was her mother, they were both strong and phenomenal women and you take after them but I’d do anything to protect you from the hardships they went through.”
     
He was getting emotional but his stubborn nature wouldn’t let the tears fall, the only time she’d seen her father cry was on her graduation day.
     
“Papa, I know I don’t tell you this enough but you are an amazing father because you did the best you could when Caroline left, and I’ll forever be grateful for that because unlike a lot of men you stepped up. And I know you mean well but you don’t have to worry about protecting me anymore.”
     
He sighed, looking conflicted because he knew where the conversation was going and he didn’t like it. He dreaded the day when Kgomotso would find someone and it was evident Anesu was that someone, but the thought of letting go of his only daughter was one he wasn’t willing to entertain even though Anesu seemed to tick all the right boxes so far.
     
“I’m your father, Kgomotso, and as your father I will always worry about you it comes with the territory.”
     
She held his hand and it felt coarse under her soft touch. “Anesu is a good man, all I ask is that you give him a chance to step into that role because he is more than capable of protecting me.”
     
“He has never laid a hand on you?” he asked.
     
That question offended Kgomotso because did her father think she would stay with an abusive man and even get pregnant by him?
     
“No, he has never made me feel unsafe in his presence.”
     
He nodded, happy to get the reassurance he needed. “Okay, that’s good to know because we received a letter today, his uncles are coming on Saturday and I’ll welcome them with open arms.”
     
Wasn’t he going to do that if they didn’t have this conversation? From the little she knew about their culture, she was supposed to go to Anesu’s family accompanied by her uncles and at least one aunt to report her pregnancy but she was relieved that part wouldn’t be happening, how would she face everyone when they knew she was having sex with Anesu? There was something embarrassing about that especially because they weren’t even married yet.
     
She was ready to go inside because it was freezing now that the sun had set and she noticed the lights were not on, she locked the car after her father off loaded her handbag and laptop bag from the boot.
     
“How long is he going to let you use his car?”
     
“For as long as I need it.” She answered with a shrug, Anesu had more than enough cars so he wasn’t in a rush to get this one back.
     
“I’ve never driven a Mercedes before,” he said, staring at it.
     
“You can take it for a spin on Sunday, papa.”
     
His excitement was palpable as they entered the kitchen. The coal stove was burning and enveloped the entire room with its generous warmth, Kgomotso grabbed a chair and sat close to it after greeting ausi Daphne. A lot of people in Sharpeville still kept their coal stoves after they got electricity post-Apartheid.
     
“What are you doing?” Kgomotso asked when she failed to greet her back.
     
She looked up from the piece of paper in front of her, squinting over the candlelight and frowned. “Oh, Manana, I didn’t hear you come in. I’m making a grocery list, the letter from Anesu’s family came today and I’m short of a few baking ingredients.”
     
Kgomotso’s 3 am snacks were the reason for the grocery shortage but they were gracious enough not to say anything, maybe because she already contributed towards their household expenses. Her father was a pensioner and ausi Daphne depended on the money she made from her baking business, so having an extra mouth to feed was tough.
     
“I heard.”
     
“Your father has told you already?” She seemed nervous. “There’s so much I need to do before Saturday.”
     
“Write everything you need on that list and I’ll go shopping tomorrow after work.”
     
“Wa tla wang thusa because I was gonna have to use the stokvel money,” she said, adding more items to the list now that she didn’t have to worry about dipping into their stokvel funds.
     
“How long has the electricity been off?” She wasn’t in the mood for a sandwich in her current state of hunger.
     
“Since 14:00 but there’s pork trotters on the stove, I went to the butchery today because you wouldn’t stop talking about how much you were craving them yesterday.”
     
She got a plate from the cabinet and dished up four pieces with the same amount of bread slices. “You and papa spoil me too much.”
     
“Don’t act like you don’t like it.”
     
Kgomotso laughed, soaking a piece of bread in the gravy, she did like it but she’d be more happy back home with Anesu.
     
She excused herself to answer Anesu’s call, taking her plate with even though she knew ausi Daphne was against eating in the bedroom.
     
“Hello, baby.”
     
The rich timbre in his voice made her blush and the longing below her waist went on overdrive. Kgomotso never thought the day would come when she was in desperate need of his penis.
     
“Hi.” She sat on the edge of her bed, pressing her thighs together for some form of relief.
     
“How are you mama ka Ntombikayise?”
     
She was sure her face was the colour of a ripe tomato, she could listen to him talk all day.
     
Despite her reluctance in the beginning the name was starting to grow on her but she still wasn’t sure about putting it on the birth certificate.
     
“I miss you.”
     
“I miss you too, standwa sami, tell me how was your day?”
     
Her mind wandered back to the conversation she had with Hazel. It was best not to say anything until she knew if the lump was life-threatening or not. She didn’t want a repeat of what happened the last time she was pregnant.
     
“Kgomotso?”
     
“Yes, I’m still here. My day was hectic and I wish you were here to give me a foot massage.”
     
“I’ll cater to your every need once you’re back home.”
     
“Are you sure you’ll be up for it cause I plan to keep you busy for a few days.”
     
He chuckled, already counting the days until she was in his arms. “You know I’m always ready when it comes to pleasing you.”
     
He sounded so confident, it was a good thing he wasn’t all talk and no action.
     
“I heard the letter arrived today.” She quickly changed the subject because it was getting hot and heavy fast. “Will you also be here on Saturday?”
     
“No, baby, I can’t come it’s against tradition.”
     
She was expecting that answer so it didn’t come as a shock but it wasn’t easy to accept especially because her hormones were all over the place.
     
“So, I won’t be able to see you before the weekend?”
     
His sigh was followed by an uneasy silence. “No, I have meetings.”
     
Nobody was that busy, it was obvious he didn’t want to make the time and she couldn’t understand why. She was more upset about the tears than his neglect. Stupid hormones! 
     
“What’s going on, Anesu?” she demanded.
     
“Nothing. I just have a lot of work to finish before I can take time off from work.”
     
“You’re acting like I asked you to abandon your work, I’m only asking for an hour and you’re not even willing to give me that. The baby is not even here yet and you are already proving to me that you won’t put us first.”
     
“Is that what you believe?” he asked.
     
“What am I supposed to think when you’re acting so shady, Anesu?!” She let her anger get the best of her by shouting.
     
“You are supposed to trust me.” His pained expression was replaced by a sense of helplessness because in everything he has done he always put her first.
     
“I do trust you but I’m also feeling neglected.” Kgomotso failed to compose herself as loud sobs reverberated from her chest.
     
“Okay, I understand and I promise to make it up to you, baby.”
     
It felt like he was making empty promises because his sudden busyness wasn’t making sense to her. If he truly understood he’d be seeing her instead of attending endless and boring meetings.
     
“Alright. I have to go, I need to help ausi Daphne with something.”
     
“I love you,” he said, after a brief pause.
     
“I love you, too.”
     
She went back to the kitchen and put her pork trotters in the microwave, they had turned cold and weren’t enjoyable to eat anymore. She made herself some juice and rinsed the glass before dumping it in the sink.
     
“What’s wrong? Why are you trying to break my glass? You might as well break all of them at this rate.”
     
Kgomotso rolled her eyes, safe in the knowledge that ausi Daphne didn’t see her. “Nothing. I’m going to bed.”
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