PULL MY HEARTSTRINGS (COMPLETE)

28

                              

Kgalalelo- meaning: Glory of God.
     
That is the name she would’ve given her daughter, she didn’t think much about boy names because her heart was always set on a girl. But had it been a boy his father’s name would have sufficed because boys were often seen as an extension of their fathers.
     
But there was nothing glorious about this deed, it showed how cruel God could be at times. Ausi Daphne would not be happy about her blasphemous thoughts because she was the type that believed God did everything for a reason, whether good or bad. She couldn’t find any good in her current situation not after all those heartfelt prayers. Her dream of becoming a mother turned to dust once Dr Lewis uttered those words and all feelings of joy disappeared like they were never there.
     
“Kgomotso…” He chased after her as she stormed out of Dr Lewis’ office and headed for the stairs because being stuck in a confined space wasn’t an option.
     
Damn it, why did she wear heels? Her grief quickly turned to anger and the dark cloud looming over her head cast a shadow of despair. She couldn’t see beyond the aching in her heart because it seeped to the rest of her body like a vicious poison and obscured her mind.  
     
She gave up when she reached the third floor and took them off, her feet were throbbing and there would be blisters on her toes.
     
“Kgomotso wait.”
     
“Not now, Anesu, please.”
     
She was huffing and puffing by the time she pushed through the glass door and made it outside, but that didn’t stop her mad dash. She marched past his car, walking to the exit leading out of the parking area, she needed to get as far away as possible.
     
“Where are you going?” He called out.
     
“Stop following me.” She threw her shoes at him but missed.
     
“Let’s go home, please, baby.”
     
“No, Anesu. I just want you to leave me alone.” Tears fell unreservedly down her face.
     
His shoes stomped on the pavement as he tried to keep up with her. “I can’t do that.”
     
“I mean it, go and find someone you’ll be happy with cause I’m done with you.”
     
“Aren’t we going to talk about this?”
     
A sharp cry left her startled lips, as he grabbed her wrist in a painful grip and the frantic look in his eyes unsettled her.
     
A grey, old model Volvo driven by a White woman with unevenly cut hair came to a gradual halt next to them, they noticed it because the brakes made a squeaky sound when she stopped. There were two pugs on the passenger seat and a Labrador retriever in the backseat, which started barking as soon as the car stopped.
     
She brushed the retriever’s back, while whispering something to help it relax.
     
“Good girl.” She smiled when the barking stopped.
     
Kgomotso wasn’t fond of the furry beasts and hoped they’d stay in the car.
     
“Is everything alright?” the woman asked, looking at them.
     
“Everything is fine,” Anesu replied in a dismissive tone.
     
She ignored him and focussed her gaze on Kgomotso and something about her reminded Kgomotso of her paternal grandmother who was a staunch woman and deeply caring. She was the one who fought Caroline when she came back to play mother of the year.
     
“Are you fine, dear? I can take you someplace safe.”
     
Anesu released her wrist from his grip and he felt shame coupled with remorse at his reckless action, he shouldn’t have let his anger overwhelm him. Now this woman was ready to open a case against him because she believed he was a beater.          
     
Kgomotso wiped her tears and attempted a polite smile. “There’s no need, I’m fine.”
    
“Are you sure?”
     
She nodded, stepping away from Anesu.
     
She fired up her engine and gave Anesu a stern look before driving away with the Labrador hanging out of the window.
     
He dropped his gaze. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”
     
“Were you going to hit me?”
     
“No.” His jaw clenched and he steadied his shaking hands, it hurt him that Kgomotso thought he was capable of such heinous behaviour. But what he did was wrong and it shouldn’t have happened in the first place. “I know I hurt you and I’m deeply sorry.”
     
She was barefoot, tired and hungry, and her shoes were left in the middle of the road. It wasn’t her finest moment but she couldn’t worry about that. She sat on the trimmed grass right on the side of the road, ignoring her ringing cell phone and her pleated skirt flowed past her knees.
     
“Where to from here?”
     
He sighed and sat next to her. “Let’s go home.”
    
“What am I going back to, Anesu? Because we can’t carry on like we’ve been doing not after what just happened.”
     
He cleared his throat and lightly scratched his head. “You’re right I was selfish for expecting you to be with me and not give you security in return, and I’m not proud of the proposal I made it was inconsiderate of me.”
     
Optimism took flight in her puzzled mind at his earnest words, maybe they had a chance after all.
     
She walked closer to the edge and closed her eyes as she prepared to take the leap, she could no longer afford to hide behind the veil of fear or accept the bare minimum he was offering when she wanted the full five star treatment.
     
“I love you and I’m tired of pretending like I feel nothing for you. I want us to give this relationship a real try. I want to be your wife one day and I want us to have a family, if this isn’t what you want then it’s over we will not see each other again after today and I mean it.”
     
He gently caressed her cheek and she matched his intense stare. “I also don’t want to pretend anymore, I love you, Kgomotso. I want to be your husband one day and have children with you, what happened today doesn’t change anything. And I was a fool for not embracing my feelings sooner.”
     
“Do you mean it, Anesu?”
     
“Yes, baby, I love you.”
     
She didn’t imagine they would have this conversation sitting on the side of the road after what happened a few minutes ago, but she was happy because she’d longed to hear him say those words. She laid her head on his shoulder and soaked the moment in.
     
“I need to tell you something,” he said, reluctantly.”
     
“What is it?”
     
“It’s about my ex-wife.”
     
She snapped her head up, praying he wouldn’t ruin this moment with bad news. “What about her?”
     
“My ex-wife is Jessica Ngobeni.”
     
“The famous actress?” Her eyes widened as her insecurities resurfaced in an instant. Jessica was gorgeous and she simply didn’t compare to those long legs and slim waist.
     
“Yes.”
       
Her heart dropped because if that was the type Anesu liked then why was he with her?
     
“I think I want to go home now.”
                                                                  *********