Bloodborne: First Blood {1}

Chapter 𝟞𝟝 - Trying To Cope

"He was doing so well, he was finally returning back to his old self. Course he was a little hardened but that was Bucky."

Steve and I were sweeping up the glass of the window that the two men broke. Sam had also had pitched in, he had gone to Home Depot to pick up some materials he needed to patch the window and the walls in my house up.

Bucky had still locked himself up in the bathroom for a whole hour. None of our attempts to get him to come out worked. I was starting to worry, and I started to worry badly. Steve was also a bit stressed but he hid that the best he could (even though he wasn't the best at it).

You couldn't blame us, seeing that happen to your best friend or your partner would break the strongest of people down. We were at a low point but not as low as Bucky had gotten.

I could hear him in the bathroom, softly crying and I felt so defeated that I couldn't help him. I just wanted to break the door down, smother him with comfort, and give him all the reassurance he needed.

Steve deeply sighed. "I was going to tell you about how he felt before the whole me 'dying' thing happened but time worked itself out."

"What was it like?"

"Huh?"

"When Bucky told you, I saw a little of what happened when I went into his mind."

Steve stopped sweeping. "Bucky admitted it to me pretty easily but that whole week, he found it hard to talk to you. He was afraid he was going to say something dumb and I couldn't beileve what I was hearing. I'm just glad that everything worked out for you two, seems like he made progess with you."

Steve's eyes lowered when he refocused on sweeping the rest of the glass up, now I put my broom to the side. There was something wrong with Steve, I could tell that he didn't quite understand why Bucky didn't want to see him or why he hid from him.

"Bucky just wasn't ready to see you again Steve. Trust me, he wanted to but he wasn't in the right state of mind for it."

"...I can't even imagine what he went through, maybe if I had just pushed them to look a little harder-"

"I'm sure Bucky doesn't blame you for what happened. He's here now and he's healing, that's what matters."

Steve paused to throw the glass into the garbage with the dustpan before coming back and dropping himself on the couch. "I'll be here for him no matter how long it'll take him to heal."

"As will I."

Steve and I sat in the living room, talking about all sort of things. Mainly about Bucky, he still hadn't left the guest bathroom. We were debating on if we should try to get him out of there but lucky for us, we didn't have to.

We heard a door slightly creak open. Steve and I thought it was Sam coming back to help fix everything but to our surprise, it wasn't the front door that opened it was the bathroom door.

Steve and I got up in unison as we watched Bucky slowly walk out of the bathroom. His eyes had gone red and dark, he had bawled his eyes out. His pain was like an arrow to my heart and it stung badly.

We both approached him carefully. I tried to come closer but he stepped back. Too soon for that.

"Bucky. You feeling any better?"

His bottom lip shook a little, his eyes were confused. I couldn't take it, he was scared he'd do something to us.

"Bucky," Steve spoke. Bucky looked up in surprise like he didn't think Steve would ever talk to him. "That wasn't your fault, I know everything they did to you is still there. Me and Tina are always here for you Buck, we're going to figure this out together. It's the least I could do."

Bucky looked at him, then at me, then back to Steve. He kept doing that till he suddenly rushed me and engulfed me in a hug saying that he was sorry over and over again.

I ran my hand through his hair a couple of times. "It's alright Bucky, we're okay."

He put his forehead on mines before he faced Steve, he stalled there for a minute till he finally went in for the hug. I could see Steve's face light up, he had his best friend back. My boys were finally reunited.

Bucky let go of Steve and looked at me. "Doll...I want to ask something of you and Steve."

"Anything Buck."

Bucky paused again, he wanted to make sure his message was clear. "I know I need to heal, and I know I need more help."

Steve and I rose an eyebrow before Steve asked, "What are you saying, Buck?"

"I need to get more help. I think Tina has done all she can for me but it's not gonna take what HYDRA put in my head away."

I looked at the ground, I knew what this meant and I knew it had to be said eventually. Sure Bucky felt better with me but we both knew I couldn't give him all the help he needed. Removing such intense programming would take away a lot of the strength that I didn't have currently.

Bucky had to leave me to get the help that he needed. I was fine with that because I knew if he felt better I would too. It didn't mean that it was going to be easy to let him go either.

"So...that means you gotta leave huh?"

Bucky held my hands. "I don't want to."

"It's for the best, I understand. I'm not gonna be selfish."

Steve peered at us. "I'll see what I can do with my S.H.I.E.L.D connections. I'll ask Sam if he can help out."

"Thank you Steve, I really appreicate it."

"You said it Buck, till the end of the line."

We all stood around for a moment till we heard the front door opening, that had to be Sam. He walked to the area that we were in with a couple of bags in his hands.

"I'm bac-oh shit!" His eyes widened when he spotted Bucky, he almost let go of everything that he was holding. "Is-is he good now?"

I swore I could've seen Bucky give a slight smile at Sam's sudden reaction. "I'm alright now."

Sam slowly put down one of the bags he held and stuck his hand out for a handshake. "Since we got off on the very wrong foot last time, I'm Sam Wilson."

Bucky took his hand. "Bucky Barnes."

There it was again, a peek of Bucky's oldself as he spoke with Sam. I could see the mischief stirring in his eyes. He was getting there, he was healing before my eyes. He needed time, maybe a little bit of distance but that was okay.

As long as Bucky was getting better, I would have to try and cope with him not being there for a while but—I sure as hell was going to make sure I made the most of our time left together.

And I really mean that.