Shot in the Dark: A Mick Mars X Ozzy Osbourne Story

Chapter 8- I think I am going Slightly Mad

That day Ozzy and I had that fight? Or when I blew up, when he I felt kept pressing me...well that's when the dreams or to me at the time nightmares started and they didn't stop, and they'd get WORSE after I learned what he'd been keeping from me, after I opened and let him in, despite the red flags, ignoring the warnings and for once just FEELING.....until that crashed and fucking burned....but ah yeah, the first time he really hurt me....i distanced myself from him, only talking to him when I had to....but he was always watching and I felt like I was going INSANE, between Ozzy and Nikki....I lost myself....was losing myself.

It's been a few days since I last talked or whatever you wanna fucking call it with Ozzy, and I have stayed away. Throwing myself into playing, being there for Nikki, neglecting myself even more so, but.... for some fucking reason, that reason being the universe likes to fuck with me, it was decided to travel on Ozzy's bus with him and his band and so here we are, I'd just been talking to Jake E. Lee discussing rifts and techniques before he and Vince disappeared, Tommy is also in the back getting high with Ozzy's bassist: Rudy Sarzo and so it's just Nikki and I, me strumming my guitar and Nikki suddenly bursts into tears....Ozzy is I don't fucking know...but I place my guitar down in a safe place and despite my spine's LOUD protest, I go to comfort Nikki and he sobs into my shoulder.

"Talk to me Sixx." My worry for Nikki is overriding anything else.

"I-I...just wanna sleep forever sometimes.... I can't drink myself into oblivion, I waddle already, and my thighs are even bigger, and I am SO tired, so tired of everything. Just...why does it HURT so much?" Nikki stammers, sobbing as I gently rub his back trying desperately to calm him.

"It hurts because you're broken hearted.... your world is changed forever, because you are gonna be a parent, you're scared to trust.... you trust even less because your dreams...your happiness was ripped away from you. Because you were in LOVE. You need to calm down for your babies' sakes, for YOUR sake." I find tears springing to my eyes, and naturally Nikki notices...damnit!

"Like You?"

"Nikki---" I sigh.

"I meant Mick that you love Ozzy, but he's already hurt you. You don't trust him.... if you truly let him in you feel like he will destroy you, that you don't understand what he sees in you.... I see such things because I feel them...." Nikki practically whispers.

"I Don't LOVE him!" I snap quietly but I give in some and say, "You are right I don't trust him; I feel like I am going crazy...this tour fucking SUCKS."

"It does." Nikki agrees, his eyes narrowed, and I know what he's thinking...he can't be right that I love Ozzy, that I am falling for him. We're not even friends. Nikki goes to say more, when the source of all my nightmares appears....and I freeze, immediately dropping my gaze as I mutter and apology to Nikki and brush past Ozzy, or I would if he would MOVE.

"Ozzy, let me go...I'm gonna get ready for bed." I say after a few minutes of silence.

"I said I was sorry to you, and I meant it."

"But I TOLD you, you have to SHOW it." I snarled silently, immediately defensive.

"Maybe I bloody well would if you'd LET ME. You're avoiding me again." Ozzy counters eyes dark.

"I don't have to answer to you...." Ozzy cuts me off, Nikki I note is glaring daggers at Ozzy right now.

"This is why people avoid YOU Mick Mars, is that what you want? To have everyone hate you? Maybe THAT IS WHY so many people can't stand you!" I am starting to see RED.

"FUCK YOU!! You hurt my feelings! Yes, I HAVE FEELINGS!!! You hurt me, ok?! Making me fucking blow up and reveal something that CAUSES me PAIN. So, I guess that means YOU hate me huh? I guess I deserve that, fair enough!! What I WANT....is never meant for me, never will be. I don't know why you are always watching me! Just...Just...." Here those traitorous tears I'd been holding back fall, Ozzy wide eyed and looking regretful? Nikki mouths to me, 'I am gonna kill him', I shake my head in the negative. "Leave me alone please." I run from him, but I can get no peace, for he follows me.

"I-I...didn't mean.... i don't...I..." Ozzy murmurs as I whirl around.

"You DID mean what you said! That people can't stand me.... i can't be friends with someone I don't trust and guess what I don't trust you!" I slam the door in his face, burrowing into my bunk, and I cry myself to sleep....

The next day, another Venue.... Nikki still struggling with morning sickness, Tommy Lee appearing COVERED in hickies, Vince in a similar state.... looking very disheveled and I am silent as we head backstage and I and my band, not my friends.... the only people I CARE about, toss worried looks my way, as we start getting ready....

"Ask." I state simply, trying to hold back tears.

"This is a stupid question but are you ok?" Vince asks haltingly, fearing he'll make me feel worse I can tell.

"No kid, I'm not...I take it you heard last night? Why'd he has to say that.... he's right, my attitude is why no one can stand me, that its why people avoid me." My voice is small, as I start on my make-up.

"You know that's NOT true. It really bothers you about you're A. S....and that he pushed you and you told him in anger, and then he I heard pushed you again man and you love him, and you are denying it." Vince.... oh Vince, why do you have to be so sensible right now....and maybe he and Nikki are right. Nothing more is said as we continue to get ready, and only 30 minutes to show time. Nikki is resting on the couch, Vince and Tommy take off for now....and knocks sound at the door, and that voice.... that voice sounds out....

"Can I please come in? I bear a peace offering." If I didn't know better, I'd say Ozzy SOUNDS sad. He certainly is quiet. I sigh and get up and open the door, to find Ozzy on the other side, holding a bottle of Vodka, my favorite kind. As I numbly, let him come in and limply sit down. Nikki glares at Ozzy but goes back to going over his bass lines. "I wanted to apologize, and I hope this helps at least some...I've seen you drink this a lot. And I was way out of line, and I wanted to try and make it up to you."

I take the bottle from him and sigh, "Thank you."

"I took out my frustrations, on you....and they have nothing to do with you, truly." Ozzy says a strange note in his voice. I didn't know it then, but he'd apparently had a huge fight with his wife, well then wife over the phone.

"It's ok, I am an asshole and I got defensive." I shrug, feeling a pang in my heart.

"No, it's NOT ok, you.... I was wrong, and I am wrong about you. You're not an asshole I AM. I am so FUCKING SORRY, that I hurt your feelings. I can tell it wasn't easy what you told me about your spine, and you've got so much bloody shit on you right now...." Ozzy takes a deep breath. "Can we start over and be friends? I'll try and quit being so bloody rude." Ozzy holds out a hand and I, to my surprise, take it, as we shake.

"Don't make me regret this." I cannot help but warn. Sadly, my words were prophetic.

"I'd never, and how about sticking around for my Set?" Ozzy grins and oh what that's doing to me.

"Sure, I'll be there."

Before I know it, I am on stage.... a bundle of nerves, wondering what I agreed to....

I did by the way, show up and go after changing into more comfortable clothes and the next day, early not super early.... Ozzy, an EXTREMLY high Ozzy would do his infamous antics at the pool, and I questioned yet again why am I here?

A/N: Oh, the tensions!! And Mick and Ozzy have seemingly for now made up and we shall see if they can be friends and how that goes and next chapter Ozzy's infamous dare fest, which Tommy Lee will be the one joining in the fun. Then the following chapter.... things will take a turn, leading to Mick opening up to Ozzy....stay tuned!