Shot in the Dark: A Mick Mars X Ozzy Osbourne Story

Chapter 69: My Awakening Part II

I was asleep...most unnaturally for a month......a living death....i haven't walked.... yet again I will have to learn...a long and tough road of recovery. But right now? All that matters is being HERE....my little girls feeding from me...eyes open wide....and I have my beloved Prince at my side....

Johanna and Azalea are still suckling away, I admire their little profiles.... beyond grateful they are doing well despite their birth. Still, it DOES kill me to have missed out on essentially the first month of their life.... the tears come....an ocean....and I cannot hold back the tide.

"Mick?" Ozzy sighs heavily, "I KNOW it fucking hurts darling....but....its....something you couldn't help....that you didn't want. And they KNOW you...they each of them have YOUR heart. I'd have it no other way." Ozzy murmurs looking at me with a mix of emotions: LOVE first and foremost, fear, pain......concern....

"I...I....EVERYTHING HURTS....h-having to w-walk...again...the trauma....I...my BACK." I ramble, trying not to jostle my daughters, as finally they seem to be done and are burped...and that makes me cry more. Before long, all four babies are asleep....and I break down, Ozzy holding me after making sure our children are near and I can SEE them.

"This won't be easy...it hasn't been.... but darling, it's been hardest on you. I promise I will be right here by your side. I love you my Queen...my Queen." A gentle kiss...a tearful one and I drift off......

I awake to find....and I marvel at that fact, there is a note on my pillow...littered with tear stains, still my body aches and I don't know how long it's been.... but in any case, I read the words of my beloved:

My Dearest Mick, my Alien.

Johanna, Azalea, Les and Robert were just taken to the nursery not too long ago. I freaked when you fell asleep, but the nurses and Doctors assured me, you still need lots of rest....though the sleep thing fucking petrifies me....anyway, sorry to ramble.....I've just been told Michelle and Angel are here, so I have gone to get them....and our family is coming here....i couldn't stop them....you are so loved...never doubt that.

Be back soon my love,

Ozzy

I don't have long to absorb these words of my husband and the fact that my little babies are in the nursery before I hear the murmur of voices....and those ever-present tears...slowly the door opens, and time STOPS....

"Oh my god...." Nikki....his voice cracking, "Mick?"

"Hey bassist. And Mr....Bassist." I quip tearfully teasing Nikki and Gene and too they are here with Nick and Sophie, everyone files in, kids and all and then I blink and my eldest two daughters, are in the bed with me, clinging to me fearing I will disappear....and I cry harder, burying my face in their hair. And I feel...God, do I FEEL. Surrounded by so much love.... Ozzy right by my side, touching some part of me.

"Mummy!! We Weawwy...Weawwy missy ew! daddy said see babies?" Both Angel and Michelle manage to say in between their little sobs.

"I...I...missed you too...so very much.....i dreamed about you.....all t-the time. Never forget how much I love you both...and your brothers and sisters....and daddy....and yes...yes....I SAW them, h-held them....fed them....it was beautiful." I whisper, and my daughters hear me. It breaks my heart that they know such pain....to see them in pain....but I see how very much they love me. My face is peppered in sweet butterfly kisses, and I give in kind.... god, I have missed them.

"Mick....I cannot tell you how bloody proud I am of our children....how much I love them...and you darling....for nearly losing your life, more than once.....my point my dearest is you are the heart and soul of me...of our family. never doubt why I love you, or that you are an amazing mother."

"Ozzy is right dude....so damn right." Tommy Lee-Sarzo holds a sleepy Oliver. Rudy with his arms around his husband and son.

"Watch your language drummer."

"I-I've missed that actually." Tommy says quietly. "Ozzy.... was so lost without you, but he never left your side or your kids...unless he had to man." Everyone voices their agreement.... albeit tearfully. Ozzy leans over to kiss me....and its like the world stops and starts. He gives our oldest affection, murmuring sweetly to them making me melt.

"I know....I....I...at times....FELT so warm....w-wanted to s-say ANYTHING....but....I couldn't....i....am TIRED s-still....and....and still a long way to go for r-recovery. I am TRYING...TRYING...to...to..." I trail off renewing my tears and trying NOT to scare the shit out of my children any more than I have.... whom cling to me even more so.

Nikki is the one, whom speaks next....stammering due to HIS tears. "Mick...w-we all...k-know...you s-still had c-close c-calls...you're stubborn, and I know you of all people w-will get there. You literally j-just w-woke up", it is here his voice cracks...., "no one expects you...to be better right away."

"Nikki is right firefly.... I...I made sure....at least that...your limbs...y-you wouldn't g-get sore...and...just....took care a' things. You need lots of r-rest and recovery. Yes, I've been so bloody lost, but you needed me.... our children needed me."

I look to my husband, whose expressive eyes are shiny with tears...with love, determination...just HIM.

"I love you Oz...." I whisper.

"I love you more my firefly." he replies. And about that time...my SPINE decides to make its presence known, I grit my teeth trying to breathe...hoping it will pass....the girls are taken from my side...despite protests...again breaking my heart. And I am given something for pain.... finally, it eases off....and I find myself falling into sleep....

Those damned beeping noises.... Ozzy...murmuring tearfully...but also cooing?

I realize quickly that Azalea, Johanna, Les Paul and Robert are in the room....although Ozzy is crying....our newborns.....oh how I've missed them....

"Oz?....i am s-sorry..." Guilty...tearfully, Ozzy turns to me being mindful of course of our babies...our precious babies.

"Mick....you...couldn't help what happened darling....much as I hate you being asleep...I can't help my fears...I know you need it. And....you're spine, you're...so brave and strong and stubborn my love....just a few of the things mind you that I love about you. You NEVER have to be sorry."

"Thank you..." I manage to whisper before adding on, "I love you....and...I wanna hold them...." I trail off in thought again, "Angel...and Michelle....are...are they ok? So, to speak? I know it scared them." Feeling guilty again.

"I love you too....and darling they are ok as can be....they are scared....hurt...because you hurt, they are more worried about you.....now....lets getting you to holding our sons and daughters."

"You...are right...and I would LOVE that." I feel more tears slip down my cheeks, but there is a smile upon my face....as Ozzy manages to kiss me while oh so carefully handing me and helping me support our youngest daughters....he is my support....my strength and I couldn't do this...without him...any of it.

I murmur gently to my daughters.... sweetly as I can...the ache in my spine dull.... though my body still feels heavy as fuck.... i have my angels in my arms: Johanna and Azalea....and my sons...my precious sons. Most of all, I have my other half.... watching me, taking care of me.... looking at me, like no one else exists with a great deal of awe and love. I hold them for awhile until they drift off back to sleep....and then I hold our sons...who are stubborn and fight sleep.

"Boys...sleep ok....you need lots of rest just like you're mum." Ozzy tells them smoothing back their hair. And they drift off to sleep at that.

"You're voice really IS magic." I tell him softly.

"Oi! I'd argue it is YOU my love that are magic." Ozzy counters, carefully taking our sons and placing them in their bassinets as they are then taken to the nursery, and he joins me carefully in bed, holding me...God...I have missed this.... missed him...so damn much.

A/N: Mick still has a long way to go.... bitter-sweet and emotional moments...sweet ones. Next chapter we shall see Mick in the stages of his recovery. Stay tuned!