Shot in the Dark: A Mick Mars X Ozzy Osbourne Story

Chapter 26-The Prince of Darkness Returns Part 2 (Ozzy Osbourne POV)

For so long I denied, my heart I told myself divided in two...I was WRONG. Look what it cost me, at least for what seemed to be a bloody eternity...it was hell, sheer hell. A hell of my own making. When I first met Mick, he unnerved me...there was something about him, he was quiet.... loud, rude...when he needed to be, ONLY when he needed to be. I on the other hand, spend my time blitzed out of my fucking mind more often than not, I wasn't happy, I tried like hell to convince myself I WAS. Sharon and I were like oil and vinegar, a love/hate relationship. I'd never been good with relationships BEFORE she came along, I was never faithful to her, I tried...I really did, but ya know Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll...but those are just excuses and then Mick, quiet.... preferring to hang back, not social or so I thought. Looking back, it was hard for him to let people in, no one truly got him. I would goad him, I treated him horribly, somehow trying to deny how I really felt...his eyes are like fire, they were...still are, I was always hurting him.....and then, there was that fateful night he conceived our first child, our daughter....seeing him so broken, the toll of the tour...and really the toll of me, we were always at odds, but always the conflict because I was a coward and hiding the fact that I was married from not just him, but that night...I kissed him for the first time and it was like the world disappeared....it felt wonderful, he wanted to feel...he let me in.....i wasn't lying when I said he was unique & special, but still I couldn't quit Sharon....and then the night I broke his heart and ruined everything, I'd been drinking....fighting with Sharon, and then...then, we were having sex....and the door opened, and it was Mick...it startled me...scared me, the look in his eyes...the anger....the fire beginning to fade, the tears....lightning- thunder....and then he was lost to me, my heart was lost and it was too damn late.....Sharon still wanted me to come back, still wanted me....and Mӧtley Crϋe i.e. Nikki Sixx and CO....beat the shit out of me and I could only take it. I wound up filing for divorce and decided to go to rehab.... but I was a coward, I tried to call Mick so many times...but was a bloody pansy, losing my nerve every single time.... again, no excuse given how much I broke him, how thoroughly I broke him....and it cost me friendships, nearly did...thin fucking ice....and I fell thru....

I stay there standing in shock, my mind reeling.... Mick once again running away from me, he was afraid of me, IS.... those eyes, dull.... the fire gone...the tears. So broken and it's my fault, my fault I didn't fight for him, fed him to the damned wolves....and he is AFRAID, I lost him because of my actions. The only reason I was at the hospital...is because I'd been wondering....i was lost and I begged...BEGGED Rudy and Jake to tell me about Mick, where he was.....they said they couldn't do that to Mick, they wanted to honor his wishes....he didn't want to see me, didn't want to hear of me....but they relented their worry for Mick overriding all else, warning me not to do anything stupid and I did promise to not do anything of the sort....i shake myself out of my stupor, voice hoarse already for screaming for Mick to come back....to please come back and I race to find a phone, frantically dialing: Rudy.....

He's gonna kill me, how the hell will I get Mick to open his heart to me again? I don't blame him if he doesn't, but now...now, I wanna try...I have to...I NEED to....it killed me to see him so afraid of me, how broken he was....and then....then, there was the fact: He's pregnant....pregnant with my child...no OUR child, and I've had no clue, I lost him and I lost what I just found...I could....i find now, I want to earn Mick's heart, to have him open to me again, to earn his trust....and I want to be there for our child. I asked such stupid questions.... Why didn't he tell me? Did everyone else know.... yes, of course they did.... I deserve so much worse....and he...he could DIE....his spine, is the baby, ok? Will he be, ok?

"Hello? Who is this?" Tommy Lee.... of course, he's with Rudy, they live together....and they just got engaged.

"I-It's Ozzy....um...is Rudy there?" A moment's silence, and my heart sinks....

"He IS, what the fuck you want?!" Tommy snarls, unlike his cheerful self.

I break down sobbing and stammering, "I-I...ran into Mick.... Tommy...I asked... I was...looking for him, I didn't think...I'd find him, Rudy and J-Jake only told me because they were worried about Mick, he's....he's p-pregnant, pregnant....i didn't know, I lost him....i lost Mick and now, I may lose my child....I've lost so much, plunged myself into this hell, because I told me self my heart was divided...I lied to him, I lied to HIM.....i didn't...I...he's AFRAID OF ME, i-it's taken too long...but I-I need to try and fix things...Tommy please...I need help...I understand, if not...but please...please."

Another pause, Tommy mutters something....and Rudy comes on the line, telling me, that he and Tommy both want to talk to me in person, and NOW. So, we hang up and I find a car and rush over......and Tommy and Rudy both answer to my surprise, and I follow them and take a seat, Rudy starting things off and I feel a pang, seeing him holding Tommy.... knowing that could have been me, I hope it will be...but there's so much I need to do....

"Tommy told me how you broke down....the fear....the pain, there was something in your voice that finally spoke truth, you FINALLY told the truth....but that fear, that fear is a fraction of what you put Mick thru, have been....and speaking of Mick, you found out he was pregnant....he could die Ozzy, but he did it anyway...he is doing it, he went thru with it, in part because he couldn't hurt YOU like that, because he hopes that your child won't leave him...though he has fears about that....part of him wants to die I think....we're losing him, we could. But if you're serious, you need to understand.... he still loves you, but he doesn't trust you."

I sigh heavily, shakily choked up, "I remember.... he got sick that night.... the last night I saw him, I let him go.... I let our child go and I didn't know it. I never thought, I haven't been.... I've bloody been making excuses...he's afraid of me, I never...I mean, I need to fix things...but do I give him more time? I just...am lost....NO, I know what I need to do.... I just...." I trail off, trying to breathe.

"Oz Dude." Tommy sighs, "You finally seem to be getting there, slowly. Mick can be a stubborn motherfucker, but you can be worse.... maybe a few days to calm down, I can tell you he misses you, listen to your heart man.... listen to it.... Ya know? Mick talks about you all the time, even though he's usually upset." Tommy finishes and an idea occurs to me, something I could do for Mick for a start.... a start.

"D-Do you have paper and pen? Please.... I have an idea for a song?" I ask.

"Lucky you we do." Rudy says, giving Tommy a kiss....and again that pang like a barb to the heart at seeing them together, knowing I could have had that....and I hope to have that still. Rudy soon returns and I write out lyrics and melodies to go with it, feverishly.... the tears non-stop.... hoping that this well help to show Mick I love HIM and only him, that I need him.... I need our child. It won't be easy to open his heart, but no matter what I can't give up especially when I know what I lost/could lose.

After I finish, nervously I hand it to Rudy and he and Tommy both scan over the lyrics and turn to me wide-eyed.

"I know it's 'Momma I'm Coming Home' but its about Mick, for Mick.... it's a start a mere bloody start...." I take my fingers through my hair. "I want to put this on an album, I want the world to KNOW how much I love Mick Mars, I see that now."

I'd stayed a bit longer during which time, they called Sixx who threatened to kill me if I hurt Mick anymore, his partner Gene saying he'd GLADLY help, Vince and Jake were called as well. It would take me a few days to finally find my courage and call Mick, FINALLY taking a damned chance, NO a Shot in the Dark, for I would call him in the middle of the night, when he needed me.

A/N: Part 2 of 'The Prince of Darkness Returns', Ozzy is finally beginning to see. Perhaps Mick shall open his heart again to Ozzy, Ozzy wrote a song for Mick and perhaps Mick and Ozzy in the future will write songs together...we shall see. Next chapter another two parter or the first of two parts where Mick desperately needs Ozzy and part 1 will be from Ozzy's POV and then of course back to Mick after that, stay tuned!