Shot in the Dark: A Mick Mars X Ozzy Osbourne Story

Chapter 12- Some Morning After

I wake up with a start, gritting my teeth against the wave of pain that shoots down my spine and the accompanying soreness from a passionate night of sex....and after a few minutes I realize several things: it's quiet, TOO quiet.... Ozzy is nowhere to be found which really hurts, but huh how about that? My stuff has been brought in, arranged just so....and I realize too there is a note on Ozzy's side of the bed, his scent of citrus and spice lingering....

The tears fall as I read it, and those damned nagging doubts creep in....

Mick,

My beautiful Alien.... I am sorry for not being here when you woke. I had to meet with my manager, who was riding my damned arse.

I hope to see you again tonight, at the show and after.

-Ozzy

"WHY? Why did I expect you to be here...SOMEONE to be here for fucking once in my life? I-I told...you, that I loved you. You didn't say it back. And you had time to 'meet' your manager and gather my crap, but not to stay awhile with me? But you want to see me again...." And I started sobbing. Love fucking hurts more than the pain in my back ever could.... but he does want to see me again, even though something tells me it won't end well, I miss him...want him and love him....

Allow me to interject, I'd come to find out eventually that Ozzy was in fact SEEING HER and that it was I thought Love wasn't meant for an Alien and I'd never be anyone's first choice....and it explained some of his odd behaviors from our night together that I'd brushed off.

Shakily, I change my clothes.... body and heart aching, filled with such doubt, such anticipation and gathering my stuff, do the walk of shame....

"Whoa.... what the fuck happened?" Tommy's voice. Oh, I see.... Vince and Tommy are here with Nikki, good. They are good friends.... Why am I still crying?

I brush away my tears and drop my stuff, finding a place to sit down...Vince meanwhile is doing his best to restrain Nikki from going after Ozzy.

"I'll KILL the son of a bitch!!" Nikki snarls.

"You're pregnant with twins Nikki.... I'll kill the son of a bitch." Vince says to placate or soothe Nikki and because he too is upset.

Nikki takes a deep breath; Vince cautiously releases him, and he places his hands on his swollen stomach....

"What happened?" Nikki questions.

I shake my head in the negative.

"Mick.... We heard you two going to it last night. It was kind of HARD not to hear." Nikki points out matter of fact.

I sigh, "Last night.... he'd found me in the rain, I-I...had to get away...everything's fucking getting to me. The way.... he LOOKED at me, it was like....no one else existed but at the same time he looked conflicted.... but i...I just wanted to feel, to feel HIM. We kissed and it felt amazing....and I told him I wanted this, wanted him...needed him and we made love...twice. I told.... told him I loved him.... I didn't think anything of it at the time, but he didn't say it back. Then.... Just a bit ago, I woke up to find him gone and my stuff in the room. He left a note...a NOTE. He apologized for not being there when I woke, that his manager was quote 'riding his arse' but he...he wants to see me tonight at the show and after. I don't fucking know what to DO." I cross my arms around myself as if to ward off the cold or in this case my doubts and my demons.

"Maybe.... give him the benefit of the doubt? Though given how he's done you thus far on the tour I can't blame you Mars-Man if you don't. He's treated us well; we've had a blast...he's been great with Nikki and a lot of help there. Maybe he makes stupid or hurtful choices, but he seems for the most part to have a good heart. Then again, shit...I sound stupid...." Tommy runs his hands thru his hair in a nervous gesture.... but in a way, he's right on the money as far as his words represent my internal conflict.

Maybe, this is part of letting go? Giving him a chance, I did something I've never really done for anyone, I let him in...I opened and let go. I felt like I mattered with him, felt safe...desired....

My mind was made up after a few minutes of awkward/tense silence.

"No Tommy, you don't sound stupid for once." I quip smirking slightly, Tommy looking relieved that I'm fucking with him. "No Drummer, you actually make some sense and...and I let him in, and I can't just let him go, we'll just have to see where it goes.... last night, I felt like I mattered, felt safe, desired.... I've never felt that before and I know that I HAVE, I don't wanna lose that." The sheer fucking irony of those words! The pain, the agony....me ignoring my doubts, my gut...and the fact I was pregnant already currently and didn't know it. I had no fucking clue.... especially with what was coming....

We chat for a bit longer, before going hunting for food and poor Nikki having a bout of morning sickness, and then to add to the chaos.... moving on to the bus, moving on to another show.... another hotel, me searching almost desperately for Ozzy.... hoping I'll hear word and once on the bus I DO from Ozzy himself in a way....as of course we're all naturally traveling on the same bus.... this fucking universe I tell you.

"Ozzy sent word; he's running behind.... sounded agitated.... he's traveling on the other bus since we had to take off and he missed it." Ozzy's drummer informs and I note he informs ME. Does that count for something? I think maybe it does.

"Thanks.... did he say anything else?" I ask. I guess the word travels fast or in this case all the screaming Ozzy made me do last night, guess it is always the quiet ones.

I can feel my body grow heated....me trying like hell to will the heat away.... the heat as I remember every sensation from last night....

He replies, "That he hopes to see you tonight."

"Thanks man." Quietly and then I note Vince who'd been watching the exchange from Jake's lap may I add, both watching with interest.

"Sooooo...." Vince drawls it out. "What was that about?" His look sly, knowing and concerned all at once.

I huff crossing my arms in my signature habit but then soften sounding small, "um.... he said Ozzy sent word he was running behind and seemed agitated.... but he hopes to see me tonight." I uncross my arms, feeling nervous, filled with anticipation....and those damned nagging thoughts.

"Ozzy really seems to like you....and I'd say he cares about you. He acts differently around you.... Ozzy since I've known him has never been one for relationships, and I for one have never seen him with anyone other than a groupie as far as relationships goes." Jake surprises me by saying that. "So, I'd go with your heart.... give it some time." Ozzy was then the typical rockstar, banging anything that so much as LOOKED in his direction, but at the same time not if that makes sense. Jake E Lee's words this day...little did he know, did I KNOW.... that Ozzy was in a relationship AND married. So, secrets, upon secrets and lies.... but I decided to ignore my gut and try and go with my heart....

We chat for a little while longer me unable to see Jake and Vince be all loving with one another because it fucking hurts, and so I check on Nikki and lay down to take a nap and those damned dreams or visions or whatever the fuck you wanna call them.... come.

The time is fast approaching for everything to go up in flames, but it will lead to Ozzy and I eventually reuniting.... It's gonna be a hell of a ride. What comes next is the period of relative calm, and a few days will have passed.

A/N: Doubts start creeping in, divided hearts.... tired minds and Mick deciding to try and take a chance. More to come!