Shot in the Dark: A Mick Mars X Ozzy Osbourne Story

Chapter 58: Back in the Hospital Part 1

What the hell happened?! Why are there beeping noises and someone crying? Oh GOD....the babies.... the babies....

"Mick?! Calm down.... you need to calm down NOW." The tone urgent, firm and fearful all at once. The last thing, I remember.... i was playing my guitar...I think, the girls were happy.... i felt like shit, still do...Ozzy, Ozzy is trying to get me to respond! And how long have I been wherever the hell I am?

"O-Oz..."I croak out, my eyes feeling heavy as I finally open them. "W-What happened?" Ozzy's solemn, tear-streaked face comes into view...he is holding one of my hands. And it HITS me. "I'm in the hospital...aren't I?" A rhetorical question if there ever was one. "NO...NO!! No....I was playing for Michelle...Angel.....Ozzy, its...its....please, I should be home h-helping you!" I burst into tears.

"Robert Allen Deal-Osbourne, LISTEN to me NOW." My eyes widen at the fact that not only did he just full name me, but my true name. "You've been doing too much lately...for awhile now, you're not gaining the weight you need, the babies need. You can't do so much darling....its not good for you.....you started having cramps....and the pain made you pass out. Do you know how that felt to see you crumble before me like that? All I want is for you to SEE, to listen. I called EMS, i was going to take you to the hospital one way or another Mick I...."

I interrupt, shocked.... hurt, angry....and realizing he IS right. "Ozzy....JOHN.... understand how I FEEL ok?!! I don't want to be made to be useless, I don't want to FEEL useless. It HURTS, TO HAVE TO....feel as if I am regulated to the shadows, I KNOW that's not what you mean. That is how I fucking feel." I break down sobbing, Ozzy has yet to let go of my hand.

"I DO understand my love, but you I know do fully understand deep down. You were told for so many years, long before we met you were useless, you were made to feel as such and I know I sure the bloody fuck did not help matters just a few years ago." Ozzy's eyes are swimming with tears that begin to fall, he takes a deep breath. "I have something else to tell you, you are not going to like." My heart drops...

"NO..." I breathe out. "I didn't lose them right Oz. I didn't mean...this...this is my fault!"

"MICK..." Ozzy softens his tone, "You didn't lose them any of them, I promise you. They were in distress.... what I have to tell you love is that the Doctors are placing you on bedrest and are keeping you in the hospital for at least 2 months. You need rest.... you NEED IT. And to gain weight for our children. I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU...LOSE them Mick. You don't seem to realize just how much you do like...." It is here, my husband takes my hands and places them on me thank God still swollen stomach. "THIS." Ozzy breathes out. "Carrying our children and once again putting your life at risk. You every day.... make me smile, make me want to do things for you just because. It's because I love you Mick, I love you....so you were WRONG saying you were useless, you are not.... you should not have 'to feel useful', you do everything more than you realize. Mick you are an amazing partner, mother...never and never doubt that."

I can barely see thru my tears, feeling guilty as fuck.... feeling lost....and again that realization, that self-awareness.

"Ozzy.... i just f-feel lost.... This is my fault. I wish I'd have listened to you, listened to our children. I hate having now to be apart from them at night, that's not fair to them I feel. I should be tucking them in, taking care of them.... but too, I did want you....at least one of us to be with them. And...and they'll come to see me I imagine...."

Ozzy cuts me off, surprising me with a kiss.... taking his time before answering me....

"I know you hate this; I hate this.... I did this because it needed to be done. As for what you said. We'll have help, there is no doubt or room for argument there. All of us are behind you, it will be worked out to stay nights with you, I'll take care of the girls...everything Mick. You will worry nor want for nothing, I promise our daughters will be here every day....and believe me they UNDERSTAND, they miss you, want you to be home yes, but they know this is something beyond your control. Now I can see how exhausted you are.... rest...sleep please for me? I'm not going anywhere."

No choice, Ozzy made a difficult decision....i can tell it pains him, and I am stubborn as fuck. He's right...its hard to admit to myself, but my husband is right. I've done too much, always wanting to prove my 'usefulness', that I can do everything, and the reality is right now and for the foreseeable future I can't. I have to accept, that this is reality....that I have support, that things will eventually be ok. Still, this kills me, and I know it kills Ozzy....

I can feel now, his arms wrapped around me...the bed dipping a little, me burying my face in his chest....the wetness of my tears, Citrus & Spice meeting Pine & Mint, Ozzy holding me....being careful, hands on my stomach....rubbing it now....hold me, never let me go.....still how will I survive those nights when you are not here at the hospital Oz? What if I die again and not come back? Still, I'd not take such risks with my health and life for anyone but you my love....

"Ozzy..." I whimper miserable, trying to calm...trying to breathe.

"Shh, I've got you. I've got you."

"I love you....and.... I'm sorry f-for not listening....and....and..." I ramble, feeling dizzy closing my eyes, trying to breathe in my husband's beloved scent, groaning all the while.

"I love you too Mick....now please darling....try.....and...oh fuck...." I wrench away from him, suddenly feeling sick, DESPITE being in the hospital, being given fluids and all and I puke into whatever the fuck I am handed as I get sick.....feeling as if I am puking my damned guts out. After a seeming eternity I stop, crying....hating all this, scared...scared my babies wont be ok, though I KNOW otherwise. I am vaguely aware, of being given something I think that is meant to help, more fluids....and I am hungry but afraid to eat, everything is muffled. "Darling, you need to try and eat....can...can you hear me?"

"Scared." I managed to get out.

"I know you are.... breathe ok...breathe. I've fucking got you." Ozzy's terrified, yet strangely relieved voice comes in finally, I guess the relieved part is from that I answered him at all. I calm down after a bit, even more exhausted, but I can't sleep yet.

"Hungry.... but.... it's getting.... i wanna go home!" I cry.

"I know you wanna go home my love, believe me I want you there....but my home is wherever you and the girls are, YOU are my home....all of our children are....now we should try an' get some food in you."

"But you'll leave." I whimper.

"I'm coming back Mick, I PROMISE...." Ozzy 'hums' in thought. "You loved that soda bread and marmalade with the twins, so maybe try that and I'll bring some tea, peppermint....no raspberry and maybe some protein, ham perhaps. I won't be gone long..." I without warning fell asleep, Ozzy would come to tell me, he freaked out....i was ok, the triplets were ok considering. He made the food and the bread, tea and ham and returned as fast as he could. He was gone I believe an hour or two, and I woke up long enough to eat.... waited a bit, it stayed down I do recall but I had a dizzy spell.... again. Ozzy just took care of me; I begged him to make love to me that night. My husband told me that I never had to beg, the door was locked and somehow we managed....in fact, since I was in the hospital for so long and to be honest, he and I got off on it, we would make love in the bed....in the restroom even....not just because we were horny as fuck for each other, but to FEEL one another.

It was hell, a necessary one my being in the hospital two months.....but I was never alone, I didn't suffer alone and I learned to REST....

A/N: Mick and Ozzy had a heart to heart....and next chapter a month will have passed Mick, being around 3 months pregnant and will be from Nikki's POV, stay tuned!