Shot in the Dark: A Mick Mars X Ozzy Osbourne Story

Chapter 2-Harsh Reality, Bitter-Truths & Exposed

1983 has turned into a total shit-fest.... Sorry let me back up here a moment and bring you up to speed. Suppose I should start at the beginning, ain't that how these things go? Whatever, Mick Mars guitarist for the world's most notorious band: Mӧtley Crϋe, ya know loud, rude, and aggressive just like my ad which was what only 2 years ago? We are starting to take off, like as in making some serious cold hard cash, I knew from the beginning we were different, we were something special, but I didn't know then what I signed up for or just what I was getting myself into.

The reality is, well my reality anyway.... I'm quite unless I am on stage, no one notices me otherwise.... ever the loner, the alien.... too old, too bitter...an alcoholic and I am not one for bullshit. I am lonely as fuck, always have been. Sure, I do drugs, coke occasionally but really Vodka is my drink/drug of choice. May, or 2 months ago we got the call, or Doc aka Dick bag our manager who also manages Kiss got us a spot opening for the 'rock giants' and went on about money, blah-blah, fucking blah.... telling us to BEHAVE, which was really like trying to stop the rain from falling, a futile effort if there ever was one. We were thrilled, Kiss draws huge fucking crowds, but really me stuck day in and day out with my bandmates, having to act more like their father was exhausting.... but to be honest, I care about Nikki, Tommy, and Vince, at least life is less dull with them around to say the least. Ah, sorry Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, and Vince Neil to be exact.

They tended to shy away from us, wild...anarchy personified....or so we thought or rather Vince and Tommy thought, Nikki too....but one night I'd caught Nikki with Gene Simmons, yes THAT Gene Simmons notorious for banging any chick that so much as breathed and it turned out no one but me knew, I never said anything....but Nikki became more anxious than ever, insecure, but then at the same time he started being less of an asshole, and if I didn't know better happier, but he didn't see it that way....i could tell from his eyes.

Which brings us too now.... July and because of the band's tendency to break everything they touch and wildness, we're being thrown off the tour....and being yelled at by Doc who is literally turning purple from the rage, but Nikki...Nikki I notices LOOKS murderous and strangely pale too, and he's not looking at Doc in any way shape or form......

"Unfucking believable!! You guys went and fucked up yet again.... a wasted opportunity. Oh, and you BEST believe, I'll have you back on the road again...do you have any idea what I've had to pay in damages..." Doc continues ranting and Vince, Tommy and I exchange looks of concern for Nikki, who looks like he's trying not to throw up and is desperate to get away....Doc throws up his hands in frustration, storming off, muttering about flight arrangements as Nikki promptly vomits all over the floor, OH FUCK. He does so for a few minutes, rising shakily to his feet....and it is at this moment, his t-shirt rides up.... exposing his stomach.... which looks...oh my god!

Nikki panics when he notices our dropped jaws......and tries to run....

"Nikki....you need to calm down.... not just for your sake." I say pointedly, alluding to the fact that he's pregnant, Vince and Tommy look mystified.

"Mick...No...No...Doc can't find out....and...and I just found out I'm pregnant!" Nikki sobs, breaking down, "I-I...I can't.... i mean our careers are taking off, but now...I ain't parent material....and I especially can't let HIM find out..." Nikki snarls.

"Who dude?" Tommy was shocked at Nikki's state.

"T-Bone...I can't tell you...."

"Nikki, you CAN.... we've got your back." I reassure him or try too.

Nikki sighs heavily, "Gene...Gene Simmons.... we'd been keeping it secret, I thought cause Doc...but NO, Gene, he's...not so into guys I Guess, he was just using me for Sex.... that's all I am good for...." Nikki jerks up his gaze and his eyes land on the Demon Himself, Gene Simmons who tries to duck Nikki, Nikki before anyone can stop him slaps Gene across the face and starts screaming at him, the tears he was holding back fall. "HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!! KICK US OFF THE TOUR?! YOU LIED! YOU SAID.... You said, you'd never met anyone like me.... never had anyone like me. But I'm beneath you, aren't I?"

"Nikki.... DON'T...make this harder than it must be, you knew I was not one for commitment, I don't want attachments, kids...none of that. It had to be this way; it must." Gene's face is set in stone, but his eyes darken with a mixture of emotions....

"Well now the secret's out, ain't it?" Nikki snaps and then scoffs, "Let's face it, you didn't like the fact that WE upstaged you and you know it!" and then he sobs out, "You haven't even told anyone about me, have you? WHAT'S WRONG?!! DON'T WANNA ADMIT YOU'VE BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH A GUY?!! A love affair.... i was gonna tell you...finally tell you, that I LOVE YOU. You don't understand how hard that is for me to say.... well guess what, I'm not gonna love you anymore, you don't deserve me.... sorry for being SO well ME! I never and I mean NEVER wanna see you again! I can never forgive you...NEVER!" Nikki snarls like a wounded animal, Gene looks stunned, and Nikki turns and walks away, Vince and Tommy follow, I catch their gazes and they nod and soon it's Gene and me.

"How does it feel? Huh? He's right, completely right.... you are jealous that our band draws more people, that we upstage you.... you just let something wonderful go...and you have no fucking clue what Nikki has been thru!! He had a rough childhood to say the least, it's not my place to tell.... you didn't fight for him, you are a fucking coward, you can lie to yourself, but you can't LIE to me, Nikki doesn't deserve the way you've treated him. You think about what you've done!" I muster up my harshest glare and even though Gene towers over me, he shrinks back in fear...GOOD.... i turn and walkway, leaving him there......

I head upstairs to pack, my spine flaring up but it's easy to push the pain aside lost in my thoughts...

I saw it, Nikki doesn't or doesn't want to...doesn't realize, Gene loves him...he DOES, he just doesn't want to see. Still Gene if he doesn't come to terms, will have his child and Nikki lost to him forever and really, he'd deserve it in a way.... but I couldn't help but feel at least a little sorry and jealous, I've never had anyone chick or dude, wanna even touch me typically much less have a love affair, therefore I hate love.... hate the idea, I don't want the pain and the heartache that comes with it. Who'd see or love me anyway? A cripple, or a man on his way there...stupid ASS.... A. S.... I like Nikki would only get hurt, but there is one thing clear...I'm NOT heartless, that I do know.

I quickly pack, and rush with my bags to Nikki's room which is destroyed and that is I know the last thing on anyone's mind right now, much less Nikki's, Nikki is in the bathroom puking....and I note that Vince and Tommy are present and sad...Well Tommy is, Vince well if looks could kill....

"I can't believe that fucker...Doc lecturing us yet again and Nikki, wow...I had no clue, none...and now he's gonna have a kid and that asshole abandoned him!" Vince snaps lowly.

"Vince, I am telling you there is more to all this that just Gene Simmons.... I have that feeling. But as for Gene? I believe he doesn't realize he is in love with Nikki, but he lied...he lied to Nikki, tore his heart out, whatever his reasons.... fuck him! Nikki's been thru enough used and abused, abandoned by everyone who's ever 'loved' and LOVED HIM, sexually abused...Nikki damn well deserves better....and we are gonna have to tour, soon...too soon, who'll take us I have no clue, hopefully someone that LIKES us better. It's not the right time though....and you two realize, Nikki will need us...we must protect him, from Doc especially." Tommy, Vince, and I have a bit of a conversation until a pale and shaky but stone-faced Nikki emerges, eyes filled with pain...sheer pain. I notice he has a hand protectively on his stomach and he takes a deep breath...

"I'm keeping the baby....at least they'll love me, well, I hope.... I-I don't want a child of mine to go thru what I did, I don't know what a mother is or a father, but I can never forgive that asshole for this...never...its.... its...." Nikki breaks down in tears, all this isn't good for his baby and Vince, makes him sit down, Tommy putting his energizer like self to work, packing Nikki's shit, damn I envy Tommy's energy!

"Sixx breathe...all this is overwhelming I know. It's not right, it's not fair.... but we've got you, we've got you." Nikki sobs into Vince's shoulder, so lost and broken.... lost and broken....

We wouldn't be home long, once we got back, literally a week....a damn week barely enough time to breath but it is in that week that Ozzy it would turn out, would take us on as opening Act and my heart, my heart didn't know what it was yet in for...I just knew when I heard that Ozzy's name, Ozzy himself....well it was no secret I had a crush on him since his Sabbath days, the eyes it was the eyes....or was it?

As for Nikki? Hiding in any way shape or form wasn't easy, hiding from Doc, From Gene Simmons.... neither would take too long to 'find' Nikki as it were.

A/N: Being exposed in more ways than one and this is merely the beginning...and a taste really of what is to come.