Shot in the Dark: A Mick Mars X Ozzy Osbourne Story

Chapter 20- A Mӧtley Visit

"So, what did you and Tommy talk about?" I ask, breaking the silence. We are waiting for Tommy and Vince to arrive with food of course. I want to kill some time.... or try too. Maybe it helps me to TALK, of course I don't talk about certain things especially things that relate to Ozzy. Nikki struggles to sit up, muttering a 'fuck', before I manage to help him up...him thanking me, albeit tearfully as I carefully lower myself beside him.

"Not much, band stuff.... you...me...us being fucked up.... but hey sufferings better together, right?" Nikki deadpans, trying I think to make us BOTH feel better.

"I Guess so.... what a pair we make huh Sixx? The 'Devil' and the 'Alien." I quip back. Nikki and I both wind up dozing off and taking a bit of a nap, before we wake up...desperately needing to piss and of course as if on cue, the doorbell rings. I groan, yeah glad to see Vince and Tommy...and the food especially, but I just got fucking comfortable as I am gonna get.... i go to get up when the door opens and I smack myself, remembering that Vince has a key.... He usually or now he does calls before he does. So, it's all good.

Tommy and Vince walk into the living room, greetings are exchanged as Nikki and I are handed our respective cravings, me desperately hoping mine stay down....

Nikki and I inhale our food, and I get a dizzy spell prompting EVERYONE to fuss over me....

"I'm FUCKING FINE OK?!" I snap, before bursting into tears and stammering out an apology refusing to look at anyone.

"Mick?" Cautiously.... Nikki I think.

"J-Just.... leave...leave me...." I cry and warm arms and the smell of sugar cookies.... Vince surrounds me, and I dive practically into his arms...being mindful of the baby of course, desperate for comfort and I fucking hate mood swings! Mood swings made all the worse because of my so called 'partner' or ex-partner...oh hell, I don't know what to call us.... There is NO us, there never was and there never will be.

"Hey...hey...no I'm not leaving you, we won't leave you. Need to calm down Mick, please?" Vince is gently rocking me...and my traitorous thoughts slip yet again to Ozzy.... wishing it was him doing this.

Shakily I pull away from him, and am handed a box of Kleenexes, as I blow my nose and attempt to dry my tears. And naturally the nausea returns.... but I breathe deeply, and it passes for now. Afterwards I apologized to them.

"Mick don't fucking apologize, you've got mood swings same as me....and then on top of THAT, you're fucking struggling mentally especially right now with the hurt, the lies, the pain...the love, the heart ache....so I know just how you feel." Nikki states firmly, I see the pain in his eyes.

"It really is made worse...I mean its like what the fuck? But then I feel guilty for even thinking that." I state quietly, hands cradling my stomach.... holding my angel in my own way. "I just can't move on from him....part of him is inside me right now....and....and...I wished it was him holding me, comforting me.... i know what Tommy said to me when I told him I felt guilty because I was keeping Vince and Him from telling me things about Ozzy thru Jake or Rudy."

"Man, we want to respect your wishes....no one can blame you, not even Ozzy." Vince states and it is the last part of that statement that gives me pause. Vince continues with, "You're trying to cope with it in your own way. Just focus on your baby, that's your number one priority I know right now Mick and then there's band stuff.... but we are all here for you, don't forget that."

When Vince said, 'no one can blame you not even Ozzy', my thoughts even then for at least a moment wondered at all if Ozzy felt guilty, but I told myself then I had no desire to know...but there was that part of me that DID, even if it hurt.

My energy is gone and next thing I know I find myself in my bed, being tucked in by Tommy....

"Thanks kid." I murmur sleepily.

"Get some sleep Mars-Man, ok?" Softly and I know no more......

-Nikki POV (surprise!)-

Nikki Sixx here, ah sorry Nikki Simmons-Sixx to be exact yes you read that right if you didn't know the story of me and my husband. Mick has graciously given me space here and there to tell my story, maybe others too...getting a bit off topic. I remember the day clearly Tommy and Vince came over; it was just what I needed.... what Mick needed. Though neither of us truly realized things that had happened, things that were happening and we wouldn't believe them till we saw them with our own eyes.... the rumors would abound before long, and it would be in my 5th month of pregnancy, so weeks from this point as I see it.... that Gene would succeed in finding me, call it fate or a lighting strike for it is upon or after that meeting, we'd have a heart to heart and begin to work things out, work at things...and well more. But again, a bit off topic, after Tommy carried poor Mick up to bed.... I'd talk and voice my fears of Mick, ask about Ozzy...and voice my hurt over Gene and.... a spark of light, I'd come up with names for the twins.

I raise an eyebrow at Tommy as he walks downstairs after having put Mick in his bed, Mick had all but collapsed in exhaustion, my hands as ever on my stomach feeling the twins move around and kick at me.

"He wore himself out man." Tommy flops down onto the couch opposite me, he has tears in his eyes. "Its not good for him."

I nod, feelings tears in my eyes....

"No, it's not, I worry that...well he's been having nightmares, I can HEAR him crying at night. He's had nightmares about dying, he screams Ozzy's name out. I'm scared...we're losing him, that we're gonna lose him."

"Damn Sixx, I worry about that too.... it's like he's fading mentally day by day." And it is here Vince looks at me. "He's not the only one I worry about not making it."

"Vin..." I begin slowly. "Do you know anything about Ozzy? Or you Tommy?" I ask but then sigh, "I have no right to go behind Mick's back and he wouldn't listen to us anyway right now."

"Nikki, we don't talk to Ozzy...Rudy and Jake talk to Ozzy about band stuff and that's it. Though if you ask me, I bet money Ozzy fucking regrets fucking Mick over and now it's too late.... or so it seems. I saw the way Ozzy and Mick looked at each other, even if they didn't. still like Mick said, neither Ozzy nor Gene have tried to as far as we know reach out or anything...tried to make things right and its gonna take a HELL OF A LOT of shit to make things right." Vince sounds so sad. "And Nikki? Always...always talk to us man. Don't be afraid.

"Vinny....I know.... it's just extra hard for me right now." I sigh heavily.

A hell of a lot of shit to make things right, Vince is right.... about that. i am running from my problems, i feel very much so.

"Let's change the subject dudes." Tommy looks at me concerned, because I am trying like hell not to lose it. Hearing Gene's name still HURTS, I hurt.... i miss him, I love him.... but I don't trust him. "Any name ideas Sixxter? Do you know yet what you are having?" Tommy asks me at 100 mph, Vince leans forward eagerly.

"I can't bring myself to find out yet.... but I have names picked out for a boy and girl, could be one of each...we don't know..." I sniffle, trying to stem the flow of my tears as I feel gentle kicks from my two unborn babies, who I believe are trying to make me feel better. "I love you two so much, I hope you know." I whisper to my stomach before speaking up, "For a girl I was thinking of Sophie Alexandra and a boy...I have a middle name, um Adam...maybe for a boy..." I think a moment, "Nicholas for the first name."

"Sounds so fucking cute dude!" Tommy's cheerfulness returns at this.

I chuckle sadly, "Yes it does."

Gene, Gene.... see what you've done? You're missing out on so much....me picking out names, not that you'd care. Not that you loved me.... you were like everyone else, using me...but then there were times you where I don't know how to explain, gentler than I'd have thought. Mick isn't the only one who has nightmares.... i am losing myself, I've lost myself.... What if I don't survive the birth? Would you cry at my funeral? Do you cry in the night? Do your TEARS ever fall?

A/N: A surprise POV, a taste of things to come and hints sprinkled in...clues that will have to do with rumors that will come to light next chapter!