Shot in the Dark: A Mick Mars X Ozzy Osbourne Story

Chapter 10-Being Found

A couple of days have passed, and I have once again started or have been avoiding Ozzy like the plague since the 'Pool Incident' as I call it and THAT'S ME being polite by the way. Sure, it was, disgusting as Fuck, wild and crazy and I'm not just talking about Ozzy. Ozzy hurt me YET AGAIN and the dreams NO the nightmares I started to have haven't let up and if anything, they've gotten worse. I've barely talked to ANYONE, even Nikki...I'm struggling, drowning and I just want to FEEL, feel wanted...feel loved, but that's obviously too much to ask. I can't even make a new friend, though I don't like to dwell or try not to on the fact I have feelings for the Prince of Darkness.

Nikki, poor Nikki.... he's TRYING to comfort me despite being a fucked-up mess himself...LOVE HURTS. Just having got through with a show, I escorted Nikki back to the hotel and helped him, despite his protests bathe and change into comfy clothes, and to let me know if he needed me and all the while I try to hold back tears, because of OZZY. I tell Nikki not to worry, he will anyway, and I know...I know Tommy and Vince are too. Those 3 are the ONLY and first friends I've ever had, well Rudy and Jake are slowly becoming friends...but anyway, I've just now gotten Nikki to sleep and I falter, grinding my teeth as flames shoot up my spine and I quickly swig the bit of Vodka I have left, before I shower and change into clean clothes....but my anxiety....everything...everything is getting to me, between Ozzy and Nikki....

Thank Fuck I guess that today or not tomorrow, I think its tomorrow is an off day.... What good does that do me? Holed up in my room alone...well not alone I guess, I know Nikki needs somebody to lean on, he's going thru something like me.... grappling with that and those demons that just don't wanna want to leave, just grappling period. But of course, Vince and Tommy make it a point to be there for Nikki, do things for him and Nikki needs that...but me? I-I.... oh SHIT!

As if to add insult to injury, I jump as it starts down pouring and thundering.... just great and I am on the verge of collapse.... i need...to get away.... i fumble, barely managing to keep quiet for the bottle of Jack I have hidden and silently as I can slip out, needing to RUN....

And I find myself, by the pool or near it underneath an awning and the pain in my heart, hurts worse than my back ever could, and I break down.... sobbing, the bottle of Jack shatters falling from my hands, as I steer free of the glass and slip down to the ground in a heap, sobbing my heart out....

Here is where fate strikes in more ways than one, where I let Ozzy in.... only at that time, to have it all come crashing down and BURNING down to the ground and it came with life changing consequences......

How much time has passed exactly I don't know, the Rain has yet to let up and I think I'll die here....

"Mick? Oh blimey.... oh god, let's get you out of the rain, yes? You're getting wet." Ozzy, why? Coincidence? Fate? I don't respond, I CAN'T and curl further into myself HOPING for my sanity he'll walk away. "Mick? C'mon...you're.... worrying me." I feel myself being helped up, feeling numb...sort of, trying like hell to ignore how caring he's being and my anger or my brain kicks in, not sure which nor do I care.

"Oh NOW.... i worry you." I sniff bitterly, "and PLEASE don't tell me about a look like a wet dog." I note those expressive eyes fill with hurt, and regret? "I thought you hated me..." I whisper looking down.

A deep sigh, a shaky breath and a surprisingly warm hand tilting my face up. "I know it seems like I do.... but I don't. You...You...have NOT deserved how I've treated you at all. Like...like at the bloody pool, the fire in your eyes...the pain...pain I caused... I could have seriously hurt you with your back.... i was high as a fucking kite and then some, but that's no excuse." He sighs, "Things are...you unnerve me, it's not YOUR fault....part of it is I've taken my frustrations out on you...the drugs...and I cannot tell you how sorry I am." I note Ozzy is gently almost as if he's unaware, running his fingers over my cheek, looking conflicted. I only sob harder....

"S-Stop...no one.... ever...CARES about a FREAK....no one ever has.... Nikki, Tommy, and Vince were and are the first real friends I have. I am quiet, no nonsense, no bullshit kind of guy, no one ever gives me a chance. I get paid attention too when I am on stage. I prefer to read a book or to play guitar, I love quiet. I'm...I'm not fun. I just.... want to FEEL, to feel wanted.... like I fucking matter to someone.... i can't.... between Nikki and this tour.... I can't take it anymore! I our everything into being there because it's just who I am.... I get put on the back burner. I put myself there, I don't regret being here for Nikki.... even if it hurts. I drink so much to TRY and numb my pain....my physical pain, emotionally it's not enough. I do some coke, again not enough. I'm not good for ANYONE.... not good for you...." I whisper the last part.

"Mick..." Ozzy starts slowly, that strange emotion in his eyes...the conflict there, as if he's fighting an internal battle. "This...I know I damned well haven't helped. You're special, unique.... your you and that's a good thing.... a wonderful thing and I haven't shown that to you.... you're eyes, their like fire.... mirroring the heavens...blue fire.... a ring of grey...like frost." Ozzy gets closer to me, making my heartbeat wildly, these last words ghosting across my lips.

"I-I... just want to FEEL.... I'm not special.... I'm never...I..." I stammer, trembling.

"Shh.... I've got you...." And with that, I feel Ozzy's lips on my own, warm my eyes wide, before sliding shut and I realize I want this...I want HIM, I want to let go.... I cling to him as the rain continues to fall and we part breathless. "Come with me, let me show you.... i want this.... want you."

"Ok, Ok.... I want you to SHOW me." I whisper, as to my surprise he picks me up carrying me bridal style, me feeling a little scared....and wondering why he looked so conflicted, but I push those thoughts to the side, as he continues to stride towards his room, we me in his arms and I... I am going to let GO.

I ignored the signs, the internal conflict stemmed from the fact he was still with his then wife...guilt how he'd treated me, and this night he was sober. Ozzy couldn't see then, and neither did I, that we LOVED each other. We do still.... But then, at that point his heart was divided or so it seemed, his mind too got in the way. And this one night, led to my pregnancy with our first child....and then the fall, the total fucking heart break and the secrets, the LIES would come to light on the last night of the tour, a month from this night. And before THAT, it was as they say, 'ignorance is bliss' and things were still not right between Ozzy and I and sadly it would be a while, a long while until they were....

A/N: Mick and Ozzy will have their night together; things still aren't right....and it won't be too much longer until the sheer heartbreak and fall will happen. Things are set in motion and so much drama and much more to come!