Shot in the Dark: A Mick Mars X Ozzy Osbourne Story

Chapter 25-The Prince of Darkness Returns Part 1

Here we are, we have arrived at the part of the story where some time has passed: a month to be exact, putting me at the time about 4 months pregnant and Nikki at Sixx. Prior to Nikki and Gene working things out and working on them, I was slowly getting better mentally or so I'd thought. That came crashing down and what progress was made was ruined when not long after Gene and Nikki made up, Nikki for the sake of his and Gene's relationship and his pregnancy figured it would be better for Nikki to move in with Gene, I was happy for Nikki, I WAS...I understood. I'd go and visit with them as much as I could, but I felt like I was intruding. Nikki refused to let me truly be alone, but I was.... for it looked like he was going to finally get his well-deserved happy ending, and I was not....and when I was again at my lowest point it felt, I'd bump into Ozzy and I would RUN from him, he'd discover what I'd tried so hard to hide from him....and it was my angel, my angel would kick for the first time when she heard his Voice......

Being Lonely fucking sucks, I am not TRULY alone though: after all I have my precious and I do mean precious baby, my angel inside me. Always moving, energetic.... reminding me of her father, I know it in my battered bones, I am carrying a girl. But things have taken a turn for the worse here lately with my mental state, ya know again. Nikki's just here recently moved in with Gene, Gene and Nikki had both come to the mutual decision so they could work on being a couple and working things out with each other and preparing for their children's arrival. Mainly though, it was because the Demon was no longer blind to love and is truly the partner Nikki needs, loving...tender, willing to change....and I am jealous I can't have that, bitter too. Nikki bless him has insisted on me coming over to Gene's where Gene and I have become friends or are, Nikki doesn't want me to be alone...but I feel like I am intruding not to mention it kills me to see them so in love. Also, Vince and Tommy and Ozzy's band have also been checking on me.

Now that we are all caught up:

I have just gotten out of an appointment to check on my baby, confirming it is indeed a girl, I cried.... haven't stopped to be honest and she is doing well. I've been going every two weeks because of my godforsaken spine and so far, still so good with my daughter. Though, I fucking hate that my appointment is at the hospital, because I have felt for years like I fucking live there at times, I sigh heavily, trying to wipe away my tears...making sure, my baby bump is covered with a jacket...I really don't wanna be bothered as I get on the elevator and try not to draw attention to myself, all the while my daughter is squirming around.

Here is where fate strikes......

The elevator descends to the next floor and stops, someone getting on and my eyes widen as I realize who it is: Ozzy and I am so scared.... oh god, oh god...why is he here? Why is he here? Ok...Ok, so he hasn't noticed me...he hasn't....

A gasp escapes me before I can stop it and Ozzy, turns eyes wide as he realizes it's me...FUCK.

"Mick?!...is...is...it really you?"

I back into a corner and the moment I do, I feel something strange.... trying not to draw attention to myself, as the sensation happens again...and I finally realize Angel is kicking...of all times she kicks NOW and doesn't seem to wanna stop.

"W-what...are you doing here?" I managed to get out, and Ozzy looked heartbroken at the fear on my face. "Get away from me!" and again, the universe fucks with me as Ozzy's eyes travel over me, landing on my stomach that my jacket has exposed. And I can no longer take it as I cradle my stomach protectively.

"A-Are...you......why...did.... i mean.... you're pregnant?" Ozzy stammers.

Mercifully the elevator chimes and reaches the ground floor and as fast as I can, I try to run.... until I feel a hand close around my wrist, Ozzy with tears in his eyes.

"LET ME GO!" I shouted.

"It's mine, isn't it?"

"YES!" I cry, "I didn't want you to know, I don't trust you Ozzy. 3 months and nothing.... I could DIE and you haven't had the balls to contact me in any way...let me go!" And then I slap him which is enough to get him to let go. "You have NO CLUE what you've done to me! Take a good look, go on, take one! I was sick that night I found you balls deep in your WIFE, I didn't know then.... I've been so afraid, there's a good chance I won't make it, if I can't trust you with my heart, why the hell would I trust you with my child?! I have had nightmares every night, I've had to watch everyone else work things out and be so in love and I don't have that. Do you know what that's like? Do YOU Ozzy?!"

"W-Why...didn't you tell me? Did everyone else know about this?" Ozzy stammers, but I see red despite the contrite tone, the longing...the worry for me.

"Did you just ask what the fuck I think you did?!" I snarl before adding, "Yes, they know and have known, I didn't want you to know how much I am suffering, that I have suffered...and I didn't want to know anything about what you've been up too.... i have had to deal with rumors and the like.... and.... YOU. I can't cope...I can't DO this." Angel continues to move, kicking.... kicking. but not frantic.

"I've...I've been in rehab, I've.... tried to call so many times but could never dial.... I'd lose my bloody nerve Mick...and Sharon and I have divorced." My jaw drops at this, so those rumors at least were true. "Y-You're afraid of me...aren't you?" Ozzy is so sorrowful, regretful.

"Stay away from me!" Backing up, a car I had arranged to pick me up pulls up. The nightmares have become reality, I am living them...every moment...every moment, the only light is the child within me.

"D-Don't go...please.... I..." I cut him off asking the driver to wait a moment.

"You scare me....Oz...You SCARE me, because if I let you in again.....I am SORRY, sorry that I....let myself go, that I hid this from you, but you haven't even TRIED....you would have found a way and as you see actions have consequences.....now I am gonna go, I'm not ready for this....I'm not." I whisper, swallowing my sobs as I get in.... doing my best to ignore the sight of him in tears, screaming my name...screaming for me to come back.

Allow me to interrupt, I know what you may be thinking, things like why I didn't let him try and explain? Why did I run? Why was I so afraid? Hormones didn't help matters, but I was scared to even entertain giving him a chance in anyway, I let my guard down before and look what it cost me: my sanity, my heart...though I couldn't deny I still loved him and then there was the fact that I didn't know how to cope, I'd spent months barely keeping it together....and I'd lost hope. I DO regret leaving him behind, but Ozzy would FINALLY get the courage to call me late one night, a night where our daughter I couldn't get her to calm down and was desperate to sleep.... but the day I ran into him? I just didn't want to get hurt again and felt I had enough to deal with as is...

Riding home in the car, I still SEE his face.... the tears, the shock and realization setting in perhaps of just how fragile and broken I am, that he made me.... that his actions had serious consequences, I cradle my swollen stomach, murmuring lowly, rubbing it.... feeling Angel move much calmer....

"You kicked....and wouldn't stop because you heard daddy for the first time, didn't you?" A rhetorical question for I KNOW the answer. "I am SORRY Angel, so sorry.... I'm afraid of him, afraid of letting go again, I'm not good enough for him...love has never been meant for an alien like me.... I'm not mad at you sweet pea, I'm not...you were excited, saying 'hello', and... and.... I can't keep him from you forever. I can't, but I don't know how the hell I can do this...i-I thought I was getting better, but then all the pain and heartache comes back.... Angel, never forget how much I love you, my sweet angel."

Days would pass, and as I said Ozzy would find his courage and he would come to me when I couldn't hold back and needed him to help me, needed HIM....

A/N: The Prince of Darkness returned! Mick is afraid to be hurt again, that Ozzy will not want their child, their daughter...never fear for Ozzy shall return again and next chapter perhaps we will see changes, and the beginnings of a love re-made.