Shot in the Dark: A Mick Mars X Ozzy Osbourne Story

Chapter 56: Thrice the Love (Hospital Visit Part 3)

Love......I am surrounded by love, such love and support....i Mick Mars-Osbourne am not alone. Funny how I always thought I would be.....my poor little twin girls, so scared....but so sweet and doing whatever they can to take care of me. It's proof more than proof that I AM a good mother, parent, and partner.... i just wish to God, I FELT like it....my hormones sure the fuck ain't helping, and I am trying so HARD and am struggling....

Still, I can't deny how it feels to have my two little angels cuddled up to me, Michelle and Angel cradling me and their unborn siblings the triplets....and again still, how will I take care of them? This pregnancy already is taking so much out of me, I will be released and I can say with certainty that I will be right back, I want to be back home....i want things to be ok, to take care of my children, my husband...my family and what about a tour? What about what this will do to me? Can I survive a second time? I should talk, even if I don't think it helps NOW maybe sometime, someday it will....and that in this moment is what I will try to do.

"Firefly, you're crying again....do you need me to get the nurse? Something---" Ozzy trails off growing more and more panicked before taking a deep breath and sighing, squeezing my hand tightly and I squeeze back as he realizes, "I can see it.....everything, you don't FEEL like you are a good mother, partner even though you see the proof and you know it. Hormones don't help you feel....and its possible you may be right back here, though I hope to god not. And I promise you, here and now I will take care of you....of our children and make you FEEL." My husband echoes my thoughts perfectly, eyeing me seriously.

"Ozzy....I am trying....i don't WANT to feel this way....i want to believe, I just....want to take care of the kids, YOU....." Quietly.

Before Ozzy can respond Vince Neil- Lee DOES.... shooting my husband an apologetic glance, but Ozzy shakes his head, indicating its ok, more than if I know my Oz.

"Mick, you're doing that whole putting yourself on the back burner thing. I get it I do, you don't realize just how much you hold everyone here together...especially our band, I mean we're a family, we're pardon my saying a Crϋe. You're too much in your head, you're our alien. I see how much you love your children...Ozzy, your world. Your daughters look up to you, they don't see 'the old man'....you're spine, they see YOU remember that......." Vince is in tears, which he vainly tries to wipe away. "And Jake and I were talking....and if it's a boy....well we wanted his first name to be Robert."

My jaw drops....

"Did you just? ---" I trail off stunned.

"Yes, I did."

"Vinny and I have been talking about it since we found out." Jake says, holding Vince close stroking his stomach.

"What if it's a girl?" I ask curiously.

Vince blushes, "Well you're middle name is Allen....and well its not QUITE the same but I was thinking Allie or Allison....not sure."

"You do realize man, that you're daughter would be Allie-Lee...like an alley....get it?" Tommy is being Tommy lightening the mood, and I bite back a laugh at the expression on Vince's face, priceless.

"You can forget me naming her Tamara now." Vince deadpans. Tommy pouts. Low laughter sounds, given that my daughters are asleep. We talk until the need for food and the others taking care of their children and mine....mine do not wanna leave me and protest....and it breaks my fucking heart!

"Mummy I don't wanna go!! Me an' sissy stay here!" Angel stomps her feet.

"We take ew home now!" Michelle declares, 'attempting' to get me out of bed. "I don't wanna leave ew! And daddy! Pease...Pease let me and sissy stay here." Michelle is begging now. Jake and Vince are still here, the Simmons-Sixx family left with the others not too long ago...

"Angel, Michelle....i wish you could stay here with your mum and I, very much I would love that. Right now, he needs to stay here where he can be helped by doctors and to make sure your siblings are ok. I need to be with him...." Ozzy's voice cracks as he holds them tightly. "You can see your mother and I as much as you want...." I break down at these words and stammer out...

"Ozzy, maybe you should take them home with you? They need you and as much as I need you, that way they'll have at least one of them with us."

"Mick...." Ozzy croaks, looking conflicted and I feel guilty as fuck over that.

"Ozzy it's the LAST thing I want or need....but you need them...and to take time for yourself. There is NOTHING wrong with that. Of course I want you here...I want Angel and Michelle here." Ozzy, with our daughters still attached to him somehow manages to join me in my bed, all three of them being mindful of the triplets growing within me.

"Mummy we sowwy....you need daddy too!" Angel's eyes are so like my own, are filled with tears and love, such love for me.

"This isn't your fault you hear me. I know you want to take care of me, you and your sister.....both of you, the triplets...daddy, are always with me...always. Never forget how much I love you, I will be back home soon as I can....and whether or not I stay home once I DO go home, I will never ever leave you all...not truly. I will always be with you.... always come back." They hug me fiercely, my husband and my daughters of course being mindful of the babies.

"Mick.... are you sure man you wanna do this? You're sacrificing enough as it is." Jake E. Lee points out.

"We take care of you.... we take care of family." Vince sniffles.

"Firefly.... damnit..." Ozzy swallows a sob. "You.... I would do anything for you, lay down my life. And you are right, they need me too. You need me.... i don't want to leave you...."

I cut him off tearfully, "You'll come back to me, the three of you. I love you Ozzy and I will see you tomorrow."

Ozzy kisses me fiercely, "I will see you tomorrow.....no....i will see you tonight....in your dreams and in mine. My love...my dearest love." Ozzy and my daughters are touched and broken hearted both at leaving, but deeply touched that I am doing this. I promise to call, the nurses will keep Ozzy updated and Jake and Vince promise if Ozzy needs to leave for any reason sooner, he they will help him....really I know everyone will. Final kisses and hugs are given....tearful good byes, and I am alone.....NO, I am not alone....i am fucking wiped out....fighting sleep, and sadly I get sick again for 10 minutes....the triplets checked on, they are ok...and they bring me something I can eat and drink and then its just me and my unborn babies.

I cradle my stomach, caressing it.... breathing in and out to anchor myself. Feeling torn, feeling lost....and I think of my oldest and my husband and I begin to calm, and I talk to my babies, I swear...swear I feel their three little hearts beat in time with mine.

"I love you three despites being so lost....no feeling so lost and so torn. I did what I did, because I felt it was right, daddy knows I didn't want it. I want him here, I need him.... but he also needs to take care of himself, and your older sisters. This isn't just about me; I can't help how I feel about it. If something happens to me.... I just want you three, all my children to live and know that you are never truly alone." I whisper as I VERY soon give into the call of sleep....and I dream all night of Ozzy, of all five of our children....

A/N: Poor Mick.... He has an amazing support system but still things are not easy for him sadly at all. And the next chapter will see Mick back home briefly, before being in the hospital for a much longer stint.