Shot in the Dark: A Mick Mars X Ozzy Osbourne Story

Chapter 46: Bitter-Sweet 'Firsts'

I experienced and had many firsts in my life.... bad ones.... good ones, beautiful ones but none more meaningful and that stuck out in my personal life such as Michelle and Angel's firsts. Their milestones, their developing personalities.... being a parent for the first time in my life along with my then fiancée Ozzy. I experienced so many firsts with all my children and my husband.... where our Shot in the Dark tale picks up is March 17, 1985.... Michelle and Angel's first birthday but not without going into detail about their 'firsts' as it were....

Where the hell does the time go? Fucking seriously. I mean 1985 now....and time is passing by all too quickly and I am loving every moment yet wanting it all to last forever. Sometimes I feel as if in the past, what almost 2 years I've lived 1000 lives. Being thrown off one tour summer 83' and on to another, that changed my life forever....it was bliss, it was hell....and I am finding I'd do it repeatedly...because it brought me SO much: my beloved Prince of Darkness and two precious little baby girls.

It's amazing that Ozzy and I have both managed to record albums, tour...you know live, love and work...or in our case ROCK....in any case, I cannot forget the day that Angel and Michelle crawled as a matter of fact it was when Ozzy and I went to get our children from their grandparents. Angel and Michelle, who could sit up by this point, were on the floor on a blanket playing in their way with one another, their little personalities on full display. Angel my mini-me, took after her father and Michelle who looks like both Oz and I, has more my personality but both are perfect.... Anyway, we'd just entered the room and I shit you not, the moment they caught sight of us and before Ozzy and I could scoop them up, both CRAWLED to meet us. Ozzy and I both cried tears of joy, it was fucking priceless.

And then their first words a few months ago, at the age of 9 months....Ozzy had a show, and I held my precious little girls and brought them backstage, telling them we were visiting daddy and they knew, KNEW and first Angel and then Michelle both said, "Da-Da!" at first I admit I thought it was a fluke, maybe I was hearing things and then one then the other said it again and laughing and crying both, I raced carefully to Ozzy....whose eyes lit up and both the little girls, reached for him, calling out...'dada', Ozzy wide eyed....was stunned and so happy, and then once he scooped them up in his arms he asked them....

"Were you good for your mother?"

"Mama!" they both pointed at me reaching for me, leaving me in tears...happy tears.

And that brings us to now: March 17, 1985.... A day that year ago was the best and worst day of my life, but none of that matters at the moment for it is my twin daughters birthday. Things have been such a whirlwind lately, taking care of band things, spending time with Ozzy, our children and of course planning our long-awaited wedding which will be exactly 10 days from now and The Butler-Iommi clan has agreed to generously host our wedding ceremony at their English manor, and I know how very much it means to Ozzy.

It is morning, and Ozzy is still sleeping.... looking so peaceful and I find myself with the feeling my girls are awake and slowly, I manage despite my spines protest to slip out of Ozzy's warm arms and into my daughter's bedroom and sure enough as soon as I step foot in their room....

"Mama!!" Angel is bouncing up and down in her crib.

Michelle meanwhile is a bit more mellow, still her little eyes light up upon seeing me. "Mummy!"

I find myself scooping them both up, just feeling so happy....and so very loved.... The air filled with sweet little giggles and my laughter.

"I know you're their Oz." I state softly still smiling, as I smell his distinct scent of citrus and spice and sure enough, his tattooed arms slide around me and our daughters.

"Always my love." Ozzy replies and suddenly it hits me out of fucking nowhere. I am happy...happy they are a year old, that they made it and in the end so did i....but, but I DIED. I MISSED THE FIRST FEW WEEKS OF THEIR LIVES.... I PUT OZZY THRU.... THRU HELL, AND....AND ITS THEIR BIRTHDAY AND I AM RUINING IT!!

"Mick?! Mick...come back to me love....shh, its ok...it will be ok....i need you to BREATHE." OZZY. My brain manages to supply....

"Oz....g-girls...o-ok?" I manage to stammer out and am vaguely aware of being in his arms, held tight and rocked gently back and forth and i think we are on the floor.

"Mick, they are....i promise you........" Ozzy trails off worrying me, until I realize he's smiling and there are tears of joy, his eyes wide and quickly I am snapped out of it when I see why: Michelle and Angel had apparently been placed carefully on a plush blanket on the floor and have just picked themselves up and are WALKING towards us, taking toddling steps and this time...I quit breathing a moment as I am in AWE and the next thing I know is two tiny and precious little sets of arms wrap around me, and I hug them both to me, as Ozzy has me sitting between his legs at this point.

"Mummy sad? We fee betta!" Angel says brightly.

"No cwy mama!" Michelle declares seriously. "We wuv ew! An' daddy. Why cwy?"

I take a shaky breath, "I...Mommy....um....when you were born, I almost....went to be with the angels...daddy almost lost me. I slept a long time....and daddy was so lost without me, and I missed you three so much...and I am sorry its just hit me on your birthday," I find myself calming more, opening to my daughters. And I hear Ozzy sniffle, holding me tighter.

"Mick...that wasn't your fault darling....and yes it hurts very much still. I was lost without you yes, but I knew you were dreaming of us all. We all have our days, our moments and there is NOTHING wrong with that and you aren't ruining their birthday, my love. Look at what's happened ere' our daughters WALKED to you....to make YOU feel better, because they love you very much and so do i."

"I love you." I whisper. "And you are so right my love."

"I love you too firefly."

"Oi! Kissy mum!" Angel pipes up, making Ozzy and I laugh.

"So THAT'S what I'd sound like with a British accent." I am very much amused, but I seriously do love that both of my daughters of the to me beautiful and magical lilt of my husband's voice.

"You love it, and you know it darling. And you heard her......" He trails off gently kissing me.

"Dat betta!" Michelle chimes in afterwards speaking for her sister. I chuckled.

"It IS better sweet girl...now some little birthday girls need their birthday breakfast and later...they'll be lots of cake and presents and our family is coming over....how does that sound?"

"It all sounds wonderful my love." Ozzy answers and our precious little girls agree with him. We all eventually got off the floor and headed downstairs to fix breakfast. Ozzy and I talking all the while to our daughters....and I feel so much better than I did before, knowing that when the chips are down, when my trauma comes calling...I wont have to go it alone....

Looking back, Angel and Michelle's first birthday were a memorable one, a very bittersweet one too, it was everything really. Later on that day, Nikki and Gene with their twins: Nick and Sophie came, Rudy and Tommy...speaking of Tommy turns out he was pregnant with their first child as he told us that day, and Vince and Jake of course were there as well. Speaking of those two, Vince would not fall pregnant with their first child until the following year.... around summertime. See? Definitely a memorable birthday....and ten days from this day, I would marry my soulmate and do something I NEVER imagined, that I thought was never meant for me and I am so fucking glad I turned out to be wrong.

A/N: A bitter-sweet birthday, sweet moments.... future happenings and next chapter we will have another wedding, the wedding of Ozzy and Mick!! Stay tuned!