Don't Go||m.e

chapter 45

may's pov

it's been 2 weeks since i knew hayes's condition. it's getting badder and badder. we had no choice but to give him surgery.

now, i'm waiting in the waiting area, waiting for hayes to be rolled back into his room on the bed, patches all over his head but alive. i want him to be safe and sound, not on the verge of death.

it's been 2 hours. 2 fucking hours. i paced back and forth, waiting impatiently. hayes,please dont leave me.

i could remember the conversation we had before his surgery.

-

"may?"
"yeah?"
"if i don't make it, please don't do anything stupid"
"hayes, you are gonna make it. have some faith"
"just in case i don't, i want to tell you i love you"
"i love you too"
"write a really good eulogy for me"
"i'm not writing any eulogies"
"why not?"
"no one's gonna die hayes"
"i am"
"no your not, please don't think like this"
"i can't help it"
"hayes, promise me that you won't go"
"i cant keep promises i can't keep"
"damn you hayes"
"i love you may, i really do"
"i love you too..."

-

I snapped out of my daydreaming when the surgeon came out. his eyes were gloomy, face with pity. my head was swarming with thoughts, bad thoughts. i pushed it aside and thinked of good news, nothing came.

matt squeezed my hand, worried what the surgeon would say and it might affect me. "so, how is he?" matt asked.

"he- i'm sorry" he whispered.
"say it, spill the beans out" i demanded.
"i'm sorry, he didn't make it" he whispered.

i felt ny world just stopped and exploded. everything i had just shattered, crushed, broke, burned. my heart just broke into tiny pieces and slowly vanished. my blood stopped pumping, my body froze.

"no..." i whispered then got on my knees and just collapsed to the floor. i sobbed, screaming 'no'. matt hugged me tight, sniffing and begging me to stop. nash was devastated and began crying.

"excuse me" the surgeon said and left.

"no please hayes don't leave im sorry i love you no please dont leave me i mean it you promised" i sobbed.

matt didnt say anything, he just hugged me tighter and tighter. i sobbed on his chest, probably drenched his white t-shirt.

my brain just kept screaming. thought were swirling around my mind. i didnt want to accept the fact that i...

lost my best friend.

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:(

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