Don't Go||m.e

chapter 46

may's pov

i wore undergarments and slipped on a black dress. i tied my hair up into a messy bun and wiped off my tears.

I didn't want to use high heels for hayes's funeral. it was too much work. i wore hayes's black vans instead. i remember he left a few pair of vans when he stays over.

"may?" matt knocked the door.

"yeah?" i said. i took my phone and went out the door. matt stood there in a tuxedo, his hair brushed back.

he didnt say anything, he embraced me into a hug. he rubbed my back as i sobbed onto his chest.

-skip car ride-

the priest kept talking as i used my earphones, the round small ones. i played see you again by wiz khalifa feat charlie puth. my tears were flowing down my cheeks like waterfalls. i bit my lip several times to prevent myself sobbing aloud.

it's been a long day

without you my friend

and i'll tell you all about it

when i see you again

we've come a long way

from where we've began

oh i'll tell you all

about it when

i see you again

when i see you again

damn who knew

all the planes we flew

good things we've been through

that i'll be standing right here

talking to you

bout another path

i know we loved to hit the road and laugh

but something told me that

it wouldnt last

"may..." matt tapped my shoulder. i looked up at him and removed my earphones.

"yeah?" I sniffled.

"it's your turn"

"what do you mean matt?"

"did you wrote an eulogy?"

i shook my head a no. "i'll talk what pops into my head, that sound great?"

Matt nodded. i stood up and walked and stood where the priest stood. i scanned the crowd. it was about 12-15 people. mr and mrs grier, nash,will,skylynne,matt,my mom and dad,cam,taylor,shawn,aaron,jack j and g and carter, excluding myself.

they're eyes were puffy and red, especially nash and sky. sky was hugging nash so tight.

"okay..." i mumbled. i took a deep breath and started talking.

"hayes? do you remember when we were in 3rd grade? when i kicked the vending machine because my doritos won't come out and you helped me by kicking it with me? because i sure hell did," i said, "and remember the time where we played hide and seek and i fell and got a bruise on my leg and cried helplessly? the 'calm down may, it's okay' thing?" i mimicked him, "remember when i got stomach cramps from my period and you got snacks and tampons for me?"

i tried not to cry.

"and the time where i felt so worthless, you were there. still remember that,hayes?", my voice sounds like it was about to crack. "our small fights, our laughing moments, the pictures we took on nash's phone," then i heard nash chuckled.

"because for god sakes i do" i whispered.

"and most of all, remember when matt cheated on me for lilly? you chased me, carried me to my place and slept with me to make me feel all better," i looked at matt, guilt and pain washed through his face.

"the stupid conversations we had..." i drifted then felt a tear roll down my face.

"who would be there for me when you're gone huh?" i said, "who hayes,who? you won't be there hayes and i need you, right now."

"i need your hugs, your compliments, you. i need the touch of your skin hayes. i need you to be here beside me, not in my heart but here, where i can see you. i didnt get to say goodbye" i cried.

"i'm weak hayes, you are the glue that kept ne strong for this past few fucking years," i said, "but now, what will happen to me?"

"hayes, i love you so much. fly high my sweet little whore," I giggled, "i'll miss you so fucking much bro, like trillions, probably more than that"

then i sobbed. matt got me and carried me to my seat. he sat me down on his thighs and hugged me.

i wish the pain would be over soon.

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