Say Yes

46

Inigo

Fear. It instantly hit me.

Hindi na niya kailangang ulitin ang sinabi niya, at hindi ko sinubukang magtanong ulit.

It was hard for me to watch her silently crying as we drove off Yeri Jinelle's. Gusto kong magtanong kung anong nangyari, but I am afraid it will result to another outburst from her. Halos kalahating oras ng tumatakbo ang kotse ko ng walang direksyon. She just wanted me to take her away from them, and to be honest I am not sure where to bring her.

Sumulyap ulit ako sa kanya, at nakatingin lang siya sa labas ng kotse. She's still crying and for sure, her supposed to be a step to moving forward did not go really well.

"Chi...."

She didn't even bother to look at me.

"Should I bring you home?"

As if it was a dagger, she shook her head profusely.

"Please, wag mo akong iuuwi ng bahay. Hindi ko pa sila kayang makita kung sakaling uuwi din sila." Her voice was trembling and pleading.

I just can't do this. Seeing and watching her like this.

Isang kamay lang ang iniwan ko sa manibela, at hinagip ko ang mga kamay niya. I had to take another glance at her just to make sure she's okay.

"I mean my house Chi. You know it is also your home. Ours..." I emphasized. Pinisil ko ng mahigpit ang mga kamay niya, like an assurance of things would be okay.

"Ours..?" Halos pabulong niyang tanong.

"Ours...." I answered, not looking back. I wanted her to know, the farm is and will always be her home.

"Okay...." Her only answer to me. Nagpatuloy ako sa pagmamaneho.

Our destination.

Home.

🌳🐄🌳

Lampas alas nwebe na ng gabi ng makarating kami ng bahay. After her 'okay' answer, hindi na kami nag usap, hindi na siya nagsalita. The only relief I had is that after I told her I am bringing her home, she stopped crying. Hanggang makapasok kami ng kwarto, makapagpalit ng damit pantulog, hanggang sa nakaupo na kami pareho sa gitna ng kama, walang nagsasalita. 

Silence was so deafening.

But at times, silence is also the best answer to anger.

We were just sitting when we settled in the middle of the bed. I was waiting for her to talk but none, or maybe she was waiting for me to ask questions. Other way or around, binigyan ko pa siya ng kaunting oras bago ako magtanong.

I pushed myself so that my back is leaning at the headboard. Hindi siya gumalaw. My eyes were fixated on her, watching her. Her eyes were blank, she's gloomy and looked so down.

"What happened earlier Chi? You know you can always tell me."

I don't want her to keep it to herself. I've been on situations like this, and it was hard. It feels like you wanted to scream but you can't, gusto mong magwala pero hindi pwede.

I extended my arm, asking her to sit beside me. She crawled to my lap, and next thing I knew, her head was buried on my chest. Iniyakap ko ang mga kamay ko sa katawan niya.

"Anong bang nangyari kanina?"

One deep breath, and our eyes met, and my eyes were encouraging her to open up. And finally, she decided to talk to me.