Worthy (Captain America/Steve Rogers Love Story)

Hope

Charlies POV:

18 days. 18 days. That is how long Tony. Nebula, and I have been stuck in space. No fuel, running out of food and water, running low on oxygen. We were set up for failure, and I wasn't coping well with that. Most days I sat staring off to space. My mind constantly wondered off to Steve. Was he alive? Was he safe? Was he snapped out of existence? That thought made my heart clench. I needed Steve. How can I keep going without him? I didn't have much longer, none of us did.

Soon we would run out of food and oxygen, and fall into the deep silence of space. My body wasn't holding up well. The injury from the alien metal was taking its toll on me. Whatever it was, leaving it in for so long poisoned my body and wouldn't allow its to heal itself. It didnt help that I barley ate, I pushed away most food wanting tony to take it instead. But even this wasn't enough, we all were starving. I was going to die. At this a tear slipped down my face. I would never get to see Steve again if he was alive. And if he wasn't I would never get the chance to bring him back.

I continued to remain staring out the window tears dripping down my face fast. After a few minutes I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to find tony and gave him a weak smile. His face was becoming emaciated and his skin color pale. Eyes sunken in. We looked almost exactly the same.

"You need to eat" He said shoving a small bowl of broth towards me.

"You need it more then I do Tony" I said pushing it towards him

"Cj you can't keep doing this, you look worse then I do and that is not normal. Please" He begged. I couldn't resist. I haven't eating in two days and my last meal was broth again. I reluctantly took the bowl from him slowly eating it as he sat by me.

"Did you log today?" I asked him as we sat in silence

"I did, it gets harder everyday" He spoke honestly

"I couldn't agree more, everyday I log I feel the hope of returning sink farther away" I told him finishing my small bowl of broth.

"Its hard, we left them so we could save them. We couldn't do that. SO leaving them felt pointless, we should have stayed behind." Tony spoke, I could hear the wavering in his voice. I grabbed his hand giving him a squeeze of comfort.

"It wasn't pointless, we gave it our best shot, something they both will understand" I told him, but even i found it hard to believe in my own words. We sat there in silence for a few moments more.

"I don't know how much longer we have" Tony spoke. Another tear slipped from my eye.

"I was running through the calculations, only a few more days" I told him honestly

"Wow, didnt know you were a math wiz" Tony said trying to lighten th mood.

"Back in my day I was the smartest girl in school, math and science came naturally to me" I spoke with a smile remembering those days.

"You were always out of your time" Tony responded making us both laugh.

He then stood grabbing my bowl "I can take care of that" I told him trying to stand but wincing. My wound still hurt.

"Your in no shape, stay here. And make sure you log. I know its hard, but if they are alive, maybe one day this will get to them and they will understand." Tony said walking away. I nodded and pulled the helmet onto my lap. I took a deep breath in. I didnt say much on my logs, just how much i missed Steve and Hoe I never spoke of my status, our status, or who else is left. I couldn't bring myself to it. But my days are dwindling. So I turned it on.

"Hi Steve. Day 18...wow. I wish I could tell you I am doing okay. But honestly I'm not." I paused as more tears came running. "It is so hard, not knowing whether you are alive or not. I know if you are, your probably blaming yourself. But you shouldn't. The whole team gave it their all, that's the best we can do.....We lost the kid Steve" I said breaking into sobs "I promised to protect him, to bring him home. But I failed. He had so much life to live. He was so incredibly intelligent. He was going places. Ive failed not only him but you and everyone down on earth who is left" I paused again needing to gather my thoughts. "I wanted to thank you Steve, for giving me an absolutely wonderful life, One I though I wasn't deserving of. You gave me so much, you showed me so much. Your my whole world Steve, I couldn't imagine a universe without you. If you ever see this your probably wondering why im giving up so easily. Normally I wouldn't but...I did the math and in a few days...we will be out of food and oxygen. Even if we could push it, Ive been wounded. Whatever it is, It is poisoning my body and won't allow me to heal....I dont know how much longer I have but its not long." I needed to pause once more as a sob was in my throat but i wouldn't let it out. I took a deep breath in and out. "Dont worry though, when I go ill have this beautiful view and the stunning silence of space. And ill be thinking of you as I slip into the long sleep forever. I love you Steve, forever. Thank you for the wonderful life you gave me." I finished turning off the helmet and pushing it away. I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed.

Steves POV:

It been 22 days. 22 since I've seen my wife. Not knowing if she's alive. Wishing she was here and in my arms. Wishing we could have started that life we dreamed of together. Wishing we could have had more time. Time has always been against me.

I walked out of the meeting I held in place of Sam. It was the least I could do to carry on his legacy. He was my best friend, its the least I could do.

As i walked back to the compound, more thoughts of charlie flooded  my brain. Memories of her in her wedding gown, waking up to her beautiful sleeping face, seeing the look of determination in all she does. I quickly wiped away a tear. These thoughts and this heartbreak constantly came to me every day. The chance of her being alive was nearly nonexistent. And if she was alive, was she alone? Scared? Lost. Nothing made me happy, but I couldn't loose hope that there was something out there we could do. I found my hand playing with my beard...Charlie never was fond of it, preferring a clean shaven face. Such a 1940's girl. This thought made me smile. I decided to head to the bathroom and shave for her.